Learning to Love Again

Han Lili finally finds Yuan outside leaning on a light pole. He is staring into the sky with a faraway look in his eyes. He seems to be thinking about the past.

"What's wrong with you. How can you just leave like that?"

Han Yuan looks over to glance at the young woman who is stomping towards him with a giant frown on her face. He looks away, returning his gaze to the sky.

"We should go back inside. It is freezing out here and I am wearing high heels." She complains but gets no response from the man thinking in silence.

Finally, after a long while, he speaks.

"She had asked me what she had meant to me. I didn't give her a reply, I wasn't too sure myself. I only knew that she was special"

Han Lili freezes on the spot.

'Is he talking about his ex?'

"Y-you what do you mean?"

He ignores her question and continues on. "She wanted reassurance, she wanted to know that I felt something for her, but I ignored her. I knew she was hurt, but at that moment, I didn't care, I was too upset to care."

Han Lili stiffens as she widens her eyes in amazement. 'He really is talking about her. But why all of a sudden? Speaking about his ex-girlfriend has always been a taboo.'

"Still, she wouldn't drop it, she kept on demanding an answer from me. I was angry and irritated, something had happened earlier and it put me in a terrible mood. I needed time to think and sort out the situation, but her acting like that made me feel even worse. She had never behaved so unreasonably, she was always calm and collected."

"Frustrated, I told her to shut up or leave. My answer had obviously worsened things because she just stood frozen to her spot and stared at me in a daze, the expression on her face was a mix of both disbelief and self-mockery. Soon after, she started crying."

"She never cries. I should have known that it was serious when she broke down in tears. She threw a vase at my head, called me a bastard, and ran out of the room..."

"I never saw her again after that."

"I didn't go looking for her because I was certain that she would return the next morning to make breakfast like she usually does. When she didn't come back, I thought she was still upset, so I decided to give her some time alone to calm down. I felt something was off when a week had gone by and there was still no word from her. So I decided to look for her, but I was too late. I found out that she was gone and she had left without leaving a trace."

"I knew that I shouldn't have let her go that night, she was in tears for crying out loud. I should have held her in my arms and explained everything to her. But I didn't."

"What kind of man watches his woman cry without doing anything to comfort her? I never deserved her love, I knew how she felt about me. Although I didn't ignore her feelings, I didn't acknowledge them either."

"I had taken her innocence without even understanding how I myself had felt about her. I simply thought she was convenient to have around me. She did everything I asked her to and she wasn't clingy or annoying. She didn't even know my identity as the heir to Han Group. She wasn't lacking in any way so I decided to make her my woman."

Han Lili felt as if she was in a twilight zone. The 'iceberg' had actually given such a detailed description to her all at once. He treasures his words like gold, having him say a sentence to you can be considered a great blessing, but that was not even the main issue. The most frightening thing was that he was talking about his feelings, he was talking about love!

After taking a moment to collect herself, Han Lili manages to respond.

"Tell me her name? If I know her name, I may have a better chance of finding her, I know a lot more women than you do."

"She is not in the country anymore and I don't need you to go looking for her either. The only reason why I'm telling you this is because I want you to stop trying to find a wife for me because it is useless. After all these years I have realized how I really feel about her. I love her and so I won't marry any other woman..."

"I can't have anyone else but her by my side."