Leave A Scar

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BROTHER!"

Streamers and confetti popped out, and like Al had told me to do, I blew on the small rolled up noise maker. The plastic tube unraveled, releasing a loud whɨnė. I took it out of my mouth, holding it a few inches away and failing to suppress a grin from the sound it just made. It tickled a little, too.

I caught sight of Ed grinning at me as well, a stream of confetti finishing its glide over to his hair. He didn't bother to pick it off, letting it hang and swing as his head turned over to Al. But he couldn't avoid the bone-crushing hug his brother was wrapping him in. 

"I can't buh-lieve it's been eighteen long years since you came out of Mom!" Al cried out, swinging Ed around a little.

Ed rested his forehead against Al's shoulder, and if he was trying to hide another grin or a blush, then he wasn't doing a very good job of it. 

"Thanks, Al," he said, light laughter at the beginning of his words.

Al swung his body, practically throwing him off and putting him right in front of me. Edward's head dipped, noses nearly touching and both of us giving a small sound of surprise. He leaned back, straightening again and his eyes staying wide. His face growing even redder. 

At a loss for what to do, I quickly put the device back in my mouth and blew again, enough for the plastic to roll out but not sound. The tip hit his nose, earning me a small smile.

"Happy birthday," I said out of the corner of my mouth.

"Thanks," he told me, and I tried to ignore how my heart reacted, hearing that.

"What should we do for your special day?" Al asked, bright lights of his eyes blinking.

Ed shook his head, straightening his posture. "Nothin' special, that's for sure, Al. We'll just continue like always. It's nothing to get all fussy about--"

"But Brother!!" Al was skittering from side to side, and I imagined tears jetting from his eyes. "It's not a birthday unless you celebrate it!"

Ed adjusted his coat, thumbs lingering for a moment as he popped it out. "That's exactly what I'm sayin'."

I looked between them as they bickered, hands near my mouth. I didn't... If it were me...

"I think..." I swallowed, my throat dry as concrete. "We should do something."

They both looked to me, imaginary question marks on their heads.

Finally, Ed sighed, body bowing, eyes closing, and expression in purely playful defeat. "Yeah... Let's do something."

"YAY!" Confetti popped out behind Al. How did he plan for that?!

"So what should we do?" I asked, hands behind my skirt, both of them carrying Ed's suitcase. The luggage bumped against the back of my knees as I looked to them, walking backwards as they came forwards.

Ed sighed lightly, looking off to the side. "Whatever doesn't eat up our time," he said. "Train leaves at 10am for Yectora."

Al and I nodded, completely understanding. It was an important ride, one that might lead us to some answers. But that was for another time, another stroke of the pen.

Anyway, at that moment, I felt myself grow lighter. A little happier, knowing Ed had survived for this long. Long enough to officially become legal.

He must have noticed the smile on my face, the blush that graced my cheeks because he spoke my name in playful question.

"What're you up to, in that head of yours?"

I looked up, hand still lightly curved by my mouth. Head shaking and tendrils slipping from behind my ears, I replied.

"N-nothing, Edward," I said, and the name I usually called him in my mind slipped out, deepening my blush. I stopped walking, causing them to stop as well, and waved my hand in dismissal. "I-I'm just thinking of how nice the weather is."

Ed nodded, a small hum coming from him. He glanced up, squinting a little at the blue partially covered with white. "Yeah, it is nice out. Clouds would make for a good scenic backdrop."

My hand lowered completely, and clutched Ed's suitcase. Holding it in front of me.

"Y-you're thinking..." Of drawing me?

With the widest grin, he nodded once. "You got that right! I'll pick the perfect background this time, one that's not in a hotel room!"

The grin on my face was full of defeat. "Of course..."

The Elric brothers just laughed.

The train car bumped along, grooves slipping the wheels into small caverns.

"Are you sure you want to spend your birthday on a train?" The question slipped out, a sentence that never needed to be said.

Ed gave a firm nod, glove hand positioned at his face, thumb resting his jaw. "What we're after is more important than ambling around town."

Are you sure? I wanted to say more, but Al asked before I could speak. Like an owner speaking for its dog.

"Are you sure, Brother? This day only comes once a year."

Something of a scowl came between Ed's brows, a slight frown pulling at his lips.

"You two worry too much," he gruffed, turning towards the aisle.

An idea dawned on me. I quickly stood, slowing halfway through while brushing off my skirt. I had to act like I wasn't racing...

"I need to go to the lavatory," I quietly announced, watching Ed nod and Al smile.

I passed by the bathrooms, headed into the car in front of us.

"Is there something I could help you with, dear?"

"Y-yes," I said, and dug into my purse.

As I did this, I spoke, voice quiet. "I'm hoping to buy a bottle of chardonnay. How much would that cost?"

She nodded, and with another smile, she glanced to the person sitting before her. Someone ordering a sandwich.

"You must like him a lot to get something like this," she told me, rummaging through the cart.

"I do," I replied, the smile coming to me so easily. "He's a very good friend of mine."

Something about that did damage to the fluttering in my gut, a few buŧŧerflies dying and dropping away. My smile didn't falter as I mentioned the occasion, and I watched her nod before bending down to open the cooler at the base of the cart.

When she stood, she turned the bottle enough for me to see the label. An ace of spades. I recognized the brand instantly; it was the same type Ed bought for me during our first train ride together, the one to Central.

The buŧŧerflies in my stomach grew in number, rising up a little higher.

"That's perfect," I told the employee.

She smiled, and the Ace of Spades logo on the bottle turned away from me again as she directed her focus to some small chart on the cart. And then she recited the price.

My hair stood up, and I swore I saw stars for a moment.

"D-do you take checks?"

I half-prayed that I had enough in my bank account, as she nodded. Part of me wondered if there was even any money at all in there, after what had happened...

She nodded, writing something out on a piece of paper. "You said it's his birthday? Maybe we should sing to him."

I forced out a polite smile, just imagining his hand against his face, head bowed low. "I... Don't think he would like that," I said. "I'm sorry."

She seemed surprised. "Ah, good! We don't like it, either!"

I laughed at this, and after a signature above hers, I quickly wrote out a check.

"He must be pretty special to get something like this," she said, and once again I felt heat rise to my cheeks. "Tell him we don't normally take checks, but for you, I'll make a special exception."

I nodded, bowing my head in respect as she reached out, taking the slip of paper from between my fingers. I blushed a little bit, smiling as well. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

The employee just smiled, nodding a little as she flipped over the piece of paper and endorsed the check. "It's a good thing I'm ahead of all this food service! I'll split the cost with everyone else." A quirky grin came to her as she threaded the pen in between her ring and middle finger, securing it in place and giving her room to hand me the bottle. "No promises they'll get a fair share, though."

"Thank you." I smiled, and put a hand up at her offer of the bottle. "If you could hold onto that, until the cart rolls around. We're a car behind, you see..."

"I'll keep it safe then," she said, one finger to her lips, and her wink sent another flutter of buŧŧerflies to my stomach.

I tried to act natural, as I slipped back into our booth and smiled at the Elrics. And then I noticed the notebook in Ed's hands.

Or the sketchbook, to be more precise.

"You're... You're going to draw me now?" I asked, dumbstruck. Enough for a sweatdrop to come to me.

Ed nodded, grinning at my disappointment. "You're perfectly set by the window, there's enough light, and it'll be a challenge to get the passing scenery outside from the window."

I nodded, straightening and crossing my legs. Looking up at the corner of wall and ceiling, curving my lips into the width and curl of a c.

"Perfect! Stay right there!"

So I was getting better at my tricks, following his subconscious command. I could perform, act as I needed to.

After a few moments of silence that only the train car filled, I saw Ed get up, tucking the sketchbook between his arm and his side. He reached out, taking that strand behind my ear and bringing it to the front, bringing it to fall over my ċhėst.

"This strand's tricky," he said, voice hushed. Laced with something slightly heavy. Something I couldn't decipher, couldn't put my mind to.

He left it alone, after that. Tending to other parts of my hair. Moments that raked tension into my guts, clawed and ripping open a whirlwind of pain.

I kept smiling.

His eyes moved over my face, staring at my lips a moment or two more than they should have. By the time he had leaned back into his chair, my face was flushed red.

"You think you can keep that blush?" Ed asked me, and it just made me blush a little more that he had noticed.

"You wouldn't be able to capture it," I said, and I realized how insulting that probably was. I glanced over to him without breaking my position, seeing his head propped to one side by a loose fist, his lips curved in a soft smile. "You don't have the right color, I mean."

I noticed Ed just shrug, not really caring. "I don't have the right color for the rest of you, either," he replied.

"I think that shade of black fits," I said.

He just shook his head, unclicking the pen and positioning it at the page. He looked up, that expression of pure focus giving way when he saw me again. I hadn't moved from where he put me, but I watched that soft smile come back to his face. I blushed a little more.

"Good," he said, and began to draw. "We need to keep it that shade."

I couldn't believe he was doing this! Does he want my face to melt off?!

Ed grinned wide just as I thought that, like he was reading my mind. I stifled a sigh, hoping the food cart would roll around soon so I could give him his first gift...

The cart came by, after about a half-hour. Ed didn't even notice it, still so focused on the drawing.

"Excuse me." The bottle was presented with both hands, chilled from the bottom of the cart. I felt a flash of panicked embarrassment, and almost broke my position. My eyes went wide, staring at Edward, and when he looked up, he flinched with shock.

I glanced towards the cart, flicking my eyes and hoping he'd notice.

He did, and I finally said the words I had been rehearsing since the day began.

"Happy birthday, Edward."

There was so much sincerity and gratitude in the way I spoke those words. I really didn't mean for them to slip out like that, but the way they rolled from my tongue just made my stomach warm. Ed seemed a little bit surprised, and then before I could see the final shade of his blush, he looked down, hair swinging and hiding part of his face from me. One finger absentmindedly scratched at his leg.

"Thank you," he told me, his voice soft enough to match mine. Especially when he spoke my name. For some reason, the warmth in my stomach got a little bit warmer. With a smile still on his face, he looked up, meeting my eyes with his blush mostly gone, and then looked over to Al as well.

"I'm really glad I could spend this day with you guys," he said.

Before I could do or say anything else, he grinned wide and straightened his posture enough to put his arm on his brother's shoulder. "Maybe we'll have some cake, Al! I'll let you know if it's worthy of your list!"

I tucked away the idea of buying him a cake when we got to Yectora. I'm sure there had to be a bakery nearby somewhere.

The sound of my name broke me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, repeating such a useless word at the sight of Ed's grin.

"I just asked if you'd like some of this," Edward said, swishing his wine towards me. The light olive-gold spoke to me, beginning to be sipped.

I smiled at the employee, who waited with a glass.

"I'd love some."

When the sky had faded to black and the train slowed to stop at Yectora, we stretched our legs as we dismounted the train, feet a little unsettled from two bottles of wine. One paid by each of us.

Ed hopped down, arm briefly on top of his brother's. "Let's see if there's bakery," he said, remembering our promise to get a cake.

Al and I agreed with quiet nods, and with the citylight guiding our path, we casually searched for an open sweetery.

"Who would be open at this hour?" Ed wiped a wrist underneath his eye, yawning loudly. "City's pretty much dead, but if we catch them at the right moment..."

I remembered the night his sight was transmuted, a blackness bolted with red. I remembered how the restaurant we came across accepted our need to celebrate, after seeing the contents Ed's wallet. Their doors had opened, so maybe this bakery's would as well.

I smiled to myself, something I had been doing a lot lately.

I didn't catch when it had happened, but when my eyes opened next, Ed was walking with me, golden eyes curved at the bottom. As if he were happy to see me happy.

To our luck, there was a bakery that was just closing down when we came around. Ed ran forward, cash waving in hand. "Hey! Hey there!"

With key turning lock, a mustached man looked to us. Blinking, then looking up at the cash in hand. A memory flashed; a shorter Edward opening his wallet with a devilish grin.

The height increase got to me again, as he ran forward, staggering as he stopped. "We were wondering if you had any cakes available."

The owner looked at Ed, eyes glancing over him as a whole before looking to the cash in hand. He nodded, and twisted the lock again. Brightening the store as he stepped in, welcoming us with bright lights and a brighter smile.

The cake was good, more filling than I could handle with just one slice. The fork slipped from my lips again as my foot curved around the coffee table. Alcohol-induced laughter bubbling from my lips.

Ed laughed, too, cheering with the bottle in hand. And then he stood, stumbling and tripping over the corner of the table.

His face came close, nose tapping against mine once. Both our faces flushed with red.

Al giggled, from his place on the armchair.

Ed slithered a little as he pulled back, bȧrė hand brushing over his lips. "S-Sorry," he slurred, and I just grinned wide. Trying to fight back my blush.

Ed side-stepped through the space between me and the coffee table, flopping down beside my frame and giving a light exhale.

"I'll take the couch," he said.

Even through my drunken stupor, I laughed behind my lips. Leaning closer to him, arms wrapping halfway around his masculine frame. "There's two beds," I replied, my own words slurred from a hazy mind. "We can share."

Ed shook his head, fast enough for his face to blur. "It'sokay." His lips sealed shut, trapping in a hiccup, and I gave a single muted laugh, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

I didn't fail to notice how the muscles beneath my skin flexed in show.

After a few more minutes of soft chatter and blurred thoughts, I nodded off, still wrapped around Ed. I woke up with the lights still on and Al looking up. Or at least the familiar click of his helmet told me so.

I squinted at him, some part of me noticing Ed leaned back, Adam's apple protruding out as he remained sleeping up at the ceiling. I blinked again, and unwrapped my arms from Ed.

"What time is it?"

Al looked over at the clock, something my headache-induced mind couldn't be bothered with. "It's a little after one," he said.

I nodded, wiping my eye with the back of my wrist. Bleary eyes stared at my skirt, fabric wrinkled in half and reminding me of the onyx night sky or Ed's pen. Even if the ink was a little bit gray.

I smiled a little bit to myself, not currently caring about much of anything. With water on my mind, I stood, leaning and bending over in a stumble, muttering about my new found quest to Al.

Every footstep I made just reinforced the headache. Like a chemical equation, I should've known to balance it all with water... Another error, I suppose. Just one more to add to the list.

That familiar weight began to settle in, first cascading down the top of my head before swinging in my ċhėst like a weighted hammock. Like an old friend.

Memories broke against the wall of my consciousness. A hospital rooftop, a broken-down body completely surrendered to Ed's embrace. I couldn't shake these memories away; they seized me, froze me in place, and the water glass slipped from my widening grip.

It shattered against tile flooring, and Ed snorted awake.

"What happened?!"

I stepped over, hand to my mouth and eyes to the watered floor. "I―I..."

"Her water glass shattered," Al responded, speaking the words I couldn't.

"Oh." The word deflated from Ed, lowering his back a little. He blinked, one eye after the other, before sitting up and stretching out his arms. Flexing that muscle again.

I blushed deeply, and stepped around the shattered glass. Muttering something of an apology.

"Don't worry about it," Edward replied, shaking his head. He already had the broom, sweeping up the mess I had made. Restoring the broken down parts again, like he had before.

Like he always would, as long as I was around them.

I couldn't let it get this way.

"Here." My hand wrapped around the tip of the broom's handle, stopping its movement.

Ed straightened, drawing back the broom and positioning it to his side like a bo staff. He shook his head, refusing me yet again. "Don't worry about it. It's just a little bit of glass."

That I caused. Tears threatened the surface of my eyes, creating a rim of red I hope didn't seem noticeable. But knowing his attention to detail...

He resumed sweeping, after my hand delicately slipped away. Hanging by my side again, weak and unrelentingly apologetic. I'd always be like this. Causing messes that he would clean up.

It was our cycle, and I needed to end it.

_____

Author's Note: Thank you for 10k ♡