Leave A Scar

I watched Ed get dressed, one hand feeling the indentation he'd left in the bed.

"Winry..." and just like that, words trapped themselves against my throat.

Ed paused, shoulders rolling as he looked back at me.

"Winry?" he repeated before reaching over to pick up his shirt. "Yeah what about her?"

I kept my mouth shut, wondering about the strange switch in tone. It was almost like...

"We're seeing her today," I replied, sitting up. "Aren't you excited?"

With his face hidden from me, Edward shrugged. He put on his tank top, picking up his coat immediately after. Not taking his time with it, like he normally did.

"Visiting an old friend," he commented. "Doesn't need a parade."

I felt my lips drop into a one-sided frown. "Yeah, but—"

Knocks came to our door.

Ed shifted his weight back, leaning over as he called out.

"Yeah, Al?"

"Train leaves in forty-five minutes," the hollow voice echoed out. I swallowed, looking down. Looking away from the door like it was another reflection.

"'Kay," Ed replied, hopping one boot on. "Thanks. We'll be there."

As Al's steps faded, Ed looked to me. "You should get dressed."

I nodded, stare turning down to my nightgown. White and practical; just like the rest of me.

I bȧrėly smiled at my own joke, slipping off the bed and beginning to get ready for the day.

True to his word, we were on the train forty-five minutes later. Ed boasted about this, both hands on his hɨps. But when we got on, the alchemist was quiet. Incredibly so, as if we were at a funeral.

I tilted my head to the side. "Is everything okay?"

He looked up, one half of his hair hanging into his eye. A memory flashed; being on the train to Dublith, a conductors voice announcing Rush Valley overhead. My own stomach curling into knots, just like it was now.

"Yeah," he replied, brushing his hair out of the way. "Everything's fine." He shortened my name again, breaking some inner wall. Maybe it was the memory, being close to something so far away, but either way something broke. Like always.

I smiled through the pain. "Okay," I said. "Just making sure."

He smiled enough for his eyes to curve, and I could only think of how he looked underneath me. Eyes winced in pain as he held himself back from climax.

I swallowed, throat suddenly dry, and looked away. Looking to the scenery as it passed by. Ed raised a brow, confused, and Al continued reading. Flipping to another page, filling the stillness between us.

This might be a long train ride.

"Resembool. This stop, Resembool."

My name jolted me out of my sleep, twitching a leg and snapping my eyes wide. Ed leaned towards me, hunched over in the middle of our booth.

"You okay?" he asked me softly.

I instantly nodded, straightening, wiping the fatigue from my eyes. Anything to distract us from what a freak I was.

"Y-yeah," I replied. "I'm fine."

He nodded once, studying me, and I swallowed, forcing myself to meet his steeled gaze. He offered his hand.

"Well, c'mon, then."

I took it, nervously glancing to Al, who only smiled at me, oblivious as to what was happening down below. I stood up, feeling that heaviness re-center itself. Feeling the firmness of Ed's hand as well. Only one of these things I deserved.

I smiled a little to myself, feeling Ed's hand slip from mine. Going to hover by my shoulder blade, never making contact but obviously wanting to. Why the secrecy?

And all those times Winry was mentioned, too...

I held down a sigh, not wanting to analyze it. I could do so tonight; not now.

We stepped off the train, light air and distant sounds of farm animals greeting us. I noticed Ed grin wide behind me.

"Been a while, hasn't it?"

I noticed Al click his head in a nod, a bit hesitant, before realizing Ed was speaking to me. My fear was bȧrėly hid back before I forced out a grin, hand behind my head.

"Oh, definitely!" I replied quickly. "It's been more than a few years, that's for sure, but I'm glad to see this hasn't changed at all."

I laughed a little, too, part of my mind on the tension that made its way between us, when Ed had asked that. He simply grinned, laughing a little, and his hand came to my shoulder blade—actually touching this time—as we all began walking again.

"It really has been a long time."

I heard Ed and Al nod, and I wondered if Al had gotten any memory of me yet. But I suppose I was fairly forgettable.

I smiled past the pain. I was good at that, at least.

We made small talk, on the way to Winry's house. Ed and Al pointing out neighboring homes (even the one I had stayed in, to which I simply smiled) and neighboring people.

I looked towards the house, seeing something narrow and thin spinning towards us. The object sped closer, and I only had time to realize it was a wrench before the tool zoomed by. Ed ducked it, giving a satisfied grin before another, much heavier work tool slammed his face to the ground.

He picked himself up with his good arm, yelling at the house.

"Jeez, Winry, what'd you do that for?"

I turned, seeing Winry leaning over the balcony, one hand waving a long wrench in the air.

"You broke your arm again, you idiot! I can see how busted it is from here!"

Ed grinned, and I swear I heard the baa of a sheep somewhere off in the distance. He pushed himself up with his good hand, stepping to his feet again as he spoke, "Well, glad to see your aim hasn't gotten rusty."

"Yeah, unlike my automail!" Winry shot back. "You've been oiling and polishing it regularly, right?"

We started walking again, Ed waving a hand away. "Yeah, yeah. I've been doing the maintenance. It's second nature by now, trust me."

She studied him for a moment, like she was considering if she should believe him or not. Then a beaming grin came to her face.

"Wonderful!" she said, kicking her leg up behind her as her hands clasped together. "And I see you've brought a friend, too! I'll be right down!"

When we approached the front door, Pinako stepped out. She was still smoking and honestly--as horrible as this sounds—I was surprised to see she was still alive. I was happy, of course, but definitely surprised. She was elderly when I was little, and that was a while ago.

Her eyebrows rose, one hand shifting her glasses as she said my name back to me.

"Is that really you? My, it's been a long time."

Winry stopped at the base of the stairs, echoing my name. I fought back the slight sting and smiled at her.

"Hi, Winry." I greeted. "It's been a really long time, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, definitely." She walked until she was beside her grandmother, which caused her to realize we were still in the doorway. Another grin came to her, gloved hand outstretched to the room behind her. "Here, come on in! Sorry to keep you standing there like that!"

I quietly dismissed her apology, stepping into the front room as Al and Ed walked in behind me. My focus was taken from the rush of nostalgia as Winry spoke again, voice curious.

"So what're you doing hanging around these two? Did you all bump into each other at the train station?"

I turned to Ed, meeting his grin with a smile of my own. "Originally, yes, that's definitely what happened." I turned back, seeing a soft smile on Winry's face. "It's a long story, though."

The mechanic nodded, seeming to accept the answer wholeheartedly. She began smacking her large gloves together and quickly trying to smooth out the loose apron around her waist. "You'll have to excuse the appearance." She grinned. "I just got finished with a project I've been working on for a client."

"Don't even worry about it!" I responded. "I've been dirtier, trust me!"

I could sense the laugh wanting to come to Ed. Before I could turn and shoot him a deadly glare, Winry beat me to it.

"I swear if you broke the shoulder rotator cuff again..."

Ed put his hand up, nervously leaning back and away from her glare. "I can still move my shoulder. My fingers work alright, too; just the rest of my arm's a little busted."

Winry tsked from one side of her mouth, stare still narrowed in suspicion. I blushed deeply, remembering exactly how well his fingers were working when he really used them last.

As I brought my stare down to the floor, I noticed Pinako smiling at me.

"You've grown into quite the young woman during your absence," she told me.

My blush deepened for an entirely different reason, and I wrapped a finger around a few strands of my hair, giving an embarrassed smile.

"That's so kind of you to say, Pinako!" I responded. "Thank you!"

With a soft smirk, Pinako waved me away, turning to walk into the kitchen. "Please; forget the formalities. Call me Granny, if you'd like. These two boys still do."

I saw a brief irritation flash into Ed's face. "Boys?!"

"Hm?" Pinako turned to look over her shoulder at them, glasses reflecting off the sunlight. "Oh, sorry. Little men."

Tears streamed down Ed's face, posture hunching as Pinako walked off.

"She didn't even comment on how tall I've gotten..."

Al had his hand on his brother's head, patting his hair while my hand rested on his shoulder.

"I told you she'd find a way to call you short..." Al said.

Winry was suddenly dragging Ed away, taking him to the other room.

"Let's see how much you've really destroyed it this time, Ed..."

Ed just grinned, and I saw his shoulder hitch upwards, fingers stretching out beside him in a makeshift wave goodbye. "I'll see you guys in a bit!"

I just smiled, hearing Al return his goodbye with a laugh.

"So," Pinako began when they were gone, "How are you parents doing?" she asked me. "It's been a such a long time since I've even sent a letter to them."

"Oh, they're fine." I responded, taking a place across the table from her. "They're very busy, but they're doing alright."

Pinako nodded. "Are they still in the same ol' business?"

The discomfort in my gut deepened as I forced another smile. "Yes. They are."

A sly smile crossed her lips. Like she was telling herself a joke.

"It's interesting, the paths we lead..."

I just kept quiet, watching Pinako smile a bit more. "Did your father ever open up that church?"

I swallowed back my hesitation; my fear of talking about them again.

"Y-yes," I replied, still trying to keep cheerful. "He's been very busy with it. Mother has, too!"

Pinako nodded, accepting that answer completely. She didn't comment on what a total wreck I appeared to have grown into, but she kept her eyes away from me for a moment. Then, she looked back, meeting my eyes with a slight smile.

"You've broken away from them, haven't you?" she asked.

I was shocked at the question; flustered, really. I tapped my fingernails against the table, moving them in a quick line one by one, avoiding her stare before she laughed.

The old woman shook her head. "Don't be so nervous, dear! It's a rather rhetorical question, given how you're traveling with these two."

I glanced to where her thumb was hooking out to, seeing Alphonse give me a small smile. I tried to grin back, feeling absolutely horrible. I'm sure my smile wasn't convincing in the slightest.

Before I could try to say anything else and ruin the conversation further, Pinako continued on, blowing smoke as she spoke.

"So how long have you and Edward been together?"

"WHAT?!" I nearly fell out of my chair, leaning back enough to balance on the back legs. I instantly had my hands out, flustered completely and feeling like my face was melting off. "W-what're you talking about? We're—we're not—"

I hurriedly glanced to Alphonse again, feeling my heart beat so loud and so fast I thought it might explode. He just smiled, seeming just as amused as Pinako was.

"I'm just kidding," she told me, my heart skipping in the worst way when she said my name. She let out another stream of smoke, pointing it to the ceiling. "I would hurry and make a move, though; he definitely has his eyes on you..."

I blushed, unsure of what to say. There was a change in her tone, when she said those last few words. I felt my thoughts going back, to all those strange changes in Ed's mood whenever Winry was brought up. I felt my gut snarl and twist, and I politely excused myself to the bathroom. I stopped after a few steps, turning to look at Pinako from over my shoulder, giving the best grin I could as I asked if it was still in the same place.

She nodded. "Still by the laundry room, third door to the left of the hall." A smile crossed her old lips. "This place doesn't change much; sometimes I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing."

I didn't know what to say to that. I grinned a little more, thanking her for the directions before scurrying away.

I heard murmuring, on the other side of the kitchen wall.

"You're not even going to say anything?" Winry's voice. It sounded like she would almost cry.

Ed remained absolutely silent, and I felt my stomach tighten into the size of a fist. I just thought of that comment he made about Winry getting married, the way he got so tense and so quiet when she was mentioned.

What... What in the hell had happened between them?

"I can't even believe you, Edward!"

She must have done something to his arm because I heard him cry out in pain. My hand twitched into something of a fist.

"Winry!" he growled through clenched teeth. "It's not like I can really talk right now!"

Winry hesitated, and her voice grew very distant as I heard the slight clicking of Ed's automail.

"What're you..."

I jumped as Ed called out my name. But he wasn't angry; still, the word fell from his lips just as softly as it always did.

"Is there something you need?" he continued.

I stared at the wall with incredibly wide eyes, feeling everything inside me shrink. Oh, man what do I do?!

"N-No!" I replied, one foot shifting back. I'm such an idiot!! I should've just taken off and denied the whole thing! I was never here—

I heard Ed give the smallest of sighs, and whatever tension had been in the room dropped away. He shifted back to whatever position he'd been lying in before, his voice a tiny bit muffled like his arm was by his mouth.

"Just lemme know if you need anything, alright?"

Kind of a strange question for him to ask, considering the fact that this wasn't even his house. I nodded anyway.

"A-alright."

He didn't respond, but somehow I could feel the slight smile that had moved onto his face. The silence was broken with pieces of metal coming apart, allowing me to quietly continue on and find the bathroom Pinako had directed me to.

Minutes later, I was watching as Ed raised a prosthetic fist to his mouth, clearing his throat.

"So three days, right?" he asked with something of a grin.

Winry stood up, taking the busted arm with her. The broken automail swung limply, clicking at the brief momentum. She shook her head.

"I'll get you out of here in two."

Ed's smile dropped. Then it picked back up again, seeming a bit more genuine. "Alright, great! We'd need to get out of here as soon as possible, so thanks, Winry!"

"Yeah..." the word was incredibly meek, spoken as she dragged her feet away.

I was tempted to stop and ask what was wrong, but my mind kept me to where I was until Winry had left the room. With the sounds of her slowly climbing the stairs, I stepped forward.

"What's going on, Ed?" I asked.

The alchemist looked at me with those bright golden eyes. "What're you talkin' about?"

"That!" I hissed quietly, gesturing my arms out in the direction had Winry left. "What was that all about? What's wrong with her?"

Ed immediately bristled, his hair becoming a tiny bit static-y as his posture straightened even more.

"Nothing," he said. "Nothing's wrong. It's Winry. You know how she is." He seemed to relax, flapping out a hand. "All mopey and teary."

I bit my tongue, searching for Alphonse because he would probably back me up on what a problem this was. The alchemist bound to the armored suit, however, remained near the doorway. His head was down, the lights of his eyes off as if he was pretending to sleep.

Was... He trying to just avoid the conversation? Was he trying to avoid being in this house again?

"Al..."

Those lights came back on after a beat of silence. Then, after another beat, his head shifted, those eyes looking into mine. Almost... Like an animal that had been cornered and was accepting whatever would come next.

I didn't know what I could even ask. Where I could begin.

I felt Ed walk past me, his human hand gently taking hold of my wrist. Not my hand, but my wrist, because Al was here. I felt a bit more anger ignite, fueled by the gasoline that'd been spilled with The Winry Situation.

"C'mon." Ed was saying as he moved me into the main room again. "Granny's cooking something. It smells really good!"

I tried to ignore that grin in his voice, tried to beat back the thoughts telling me to let this go. I let him hold my wrist for a few moments longer, and as I expected, he let go as soon as Pinako turned around from the stove, continuing to be heightened by the stool she stood on.

She smiled. "Looks like you've still got a nose of a dog, Ed."

Ed just grinned wide, taking a seat at the table, fork and knife in hand. I smiled as well, sitting next to him and crossing my legs.

This might be a long dinner...

The wall of photos was something that caught my eye, when I passed by the room they were in.

The sunset's light served as my guide, as I went over each of them, fingertips gliding across the surface of each moment. Capsules of time, every one of them.

"We took most of those after you had left, huh?"

Winry's voice floated to me, her steps bringing her beside my stoic figure. Bringing my eyes back to the photos; memories and moments I would never experience.

I nodded, smiling a little. I put my hands behind myself, copying her pose. Straightening my back a bit more, too, but that only drew my attention to my brėȧsts. Bosom pushing against buŧŧons. Stability Ed had undid with shaking fingers.

I turned back to the photos.

Honestly, I wanted to say, I'm surprised any one of you remembered me.

The words stayed forever locked between my teeth.

It was righteous, for them to exclude me. I remember one photo had been taken, while we were all at the lake. Winry and I with our feet in, Edward and Alphonse splashing each other. And with a small hiccup of the heart, in one corner near the window, I found the photograph my mind remembered.

It was surreal, finding it and picking it up from the tac that held it against the corkboard.

"This..."

Winry's elbow came to my shoulder, her grinning voice nothing but cheery.

"Only one we took!" And her hand came to the other end of the photo. "I remember the water was really cool that day. Perfect for a summer-swim!"

I smiled, and the moment was locked away with a single thought.