Leftover girl crossing 33 times

Shen Yuqing doubts to go out of the rental house, a look, it is the neighbor's old lady Wang, she and an Yanmo moved to the villa that day just met. Mrs. Wang, holding a white dog in one hand and a box of things in the other, said with a smile, "here, it's the express that someone sent to your house. I'll take it for you when you see no one in your house. I saw you carrying your luggage into this community that day. Why don't you stay at home and live here? Have the couple quarreled? "

Shen Yuqing was just embarrassed and said, "no, my husband has gone on a business trip. I'm afraid of living in such a big house. No, I'll move to this small house for a few days."

"I don't have to fight. It's so sweet to see you when I move. The couple should live a good life!" After Mrs. Wang said that, she handed Shen Yuqing the box and led the dog away.

Shen Yuqing thought about what was in the box. She didn't buy anything.

Open the box and see, it is Shen Yuqing's mother sent her dates, in a flash, her tears burst into tears. Although this early abandoned his mother, usually not much contact with her, but still always think of her, at least she still has people.

As she was weeping, she picked up the jujubes in the box and ate them all. She didn't care to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, so she cried and ate in the rental house.

How she wants to call her mother when she is sad like an ordinary daughter, to tell her hard work, or to cry on the other end of the phone. But when she was sad, she always carried it on her own. She didn't want to disturb her mother's existing life, and she didn't want her mother to be sad too.

What's more, she and her mother never had a serious chat. Since growing up, apart from knowing that there was a mother who gave birth to her and loved her, there was more distance. This distance was one or two greetings each time she called, and more silence between each other.

Yes, Shen Yuqing has never been able to tell her heart.

Later, as soon as she had something on her mind, she went to talk to an Yanmo, but this time, she had to swallow it, chew it up, and force herself to digest it.

-

in the evening, Shen Yuqing sits in the rental house and takes a bite of the dinner she bought from the market from the disposable lunch box. Sometimes, she feels like an Yanmo is beside her. She has a bite of rice and he has a bite of rice. At the next moment, Shen Yuqing smiles. She laughs for her crazy ideas. How much helplessness and loneliness are there in this smile.

There was no one around her after all. No one ate with her, no one even sat with her.

After dinner, Shen Yuqing went out. She had been wandering around the villa, never far away.

What a person's street looks like, people who walk by, will understand.

Some people are afraid, some are lonely, some are idle, and Shen Yuqing has all these feelings. She can feel them all, and seems to have them all the time.

And these streets full of fear, lonely streets, the same streets with nothing to do, some people are bleeding, some people are wandering, some people even roar with laughter.

Shen Yuqing just walked quietly, tears rolled down to the ground, and then the sky began to rain, drenching her whole body. But she continued to walk, walking indifferently.

One day, are these feelings really indifferent?

Shen Yuqing raised her head, as if she could see the time when she couldn't go back.

For a moment, she felt that there was a person waiting for her in the dim sky. That person was in the cold day and night, but she couldn't walk past, as if it were a dream. After a second thought, maybe the one who was waiting in the cold was herself.

In fact, Shen Yuqing is not familiar with the city. In the five years since she came to the city, she only knew the street outside the school, and then an Yanmo. She has an Yanmo in all her memories of the city.

In the next few days, she would swim back and forth in the street outside the villa every day. She didn't know how long she would be like this, but she could only wait like this.

The busy street in the daytime is like a huge windmill rolling over and over. The dazzling and bright sparks are generated between the gears that are constantly biting, illuminating the sky of the street. People who come and go are in a hurry, occasionally can see some students, but also carrying heavy schoolbags continue to move forward.

But the night is quiet. Compared with the day, it looks like two streets that are 800 miles away.

Shen Yuqing thought, this is a city, changing rapidly, one moment like this, another moment like that.

When she was tired, she sat on the stone bench beside the street, watching the changes of the street and the expressions of the people on the street, either dignified, anxious or melancholy, but few people looked happy.

The world may be against Shen Yuqing at the beginning, and now life is not what she thought.

Sometimes she can sit on the street for a long time without thinking about anything. Then he got up and went straight into the rental house.

Time seems to have consumed Shen Yuqing's patience bit by bit. From her initial excitement to her numbness of repeating the same life every day, she seems to have changed.She is no longer so strong to fight against fate, originally thought that an Yanmo would catch up with good words to comfort, and the hope of taking her home slowly dissipated in day after day of disappointment.

Shen Yuqing has been away from home for a full month, and more than two months have passed since her wedding. This marriage seems to have become her own business, or she lives with the air and imagination every day.

At the beginning, an Yanmo is away. Shen Yuqing can feel his embrace as much as she can. Even if she is lonely, as soon as she closes her eyes, an Yanmo will appear in her mind.

However, I don't know which day, Shen Yuqing can no longer feel the warmth of an Yanmo. She closes her eyes and no longer has an Yanmo in her mind. Her whole brain is slowly forgetting an Yanmo.

In the dark, the branches are covered with stars, and those vast dreams can no longer be realized. Little by little, Shen Yuqing can hardly see the world clearly. She can't help thinking, is she poor? Why does the world always leave her alone to face the complicated society and everything.

On the 47th day after Shen Yuqing left home, there was no movement at home. The villa is still as quiet as if it had never been lived before. It is like an abandoned child in the flow of people, but it continues to stand in the flow of people without crying.

She still gets up every morning and looks at the villa by the small window of the rental house. After a while, she lies in bed and sleeps for a while. Suddenly, she gets up again and walks to the small window.