Chapter 95: The 36 strategems – If all else fails, retreat

July 29th, 2023

Beta Reader: My_Own_Worst_NPC

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The title is based on Sun Tzu’s The Thirty-Six Stratagem. Interestingly, it seemed that the number 36 is only a figure of speech, and is meant to denote numerous stratagems.

  Wikipedia: When one’s side is losing, three choices remain: surrender, compromise, or escape. Surrender is complete defeat, compromise is half defeat, but escape is not defeat. As long as one is not defeated, there is still a chance. This is the most famous of the stratagems and is immortalized in the form of a Chinese idiom: “Of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, fleeing is best” (三十六計，走為上計, Sānshíliù jì, zǒu wéi shàng jì)

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After we finished examining all the sick people, we were invited to the village deputy’s house for dinner.

On the table there was a sumptuous array of dishes, including chicken roasted over charcoal, root vegetable soup, pudding, and numerous loaves of bread. There was also a wide selection of wine and other alcoholic drinks, which made me very happy.

Maybe because the wine had a rather strong flavor, it was delicious even though it tasted sour.

“Shirou, don’t drink too much.” Cecily whispered in my ear.

“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t get drunk and start undressing today.”

The problem is, while I know I have a low tolerance, I love the taste of alcohol. That’s why Cecily usually acts as a brake, while Rouge is going full throttle to get me to drink more.

“Here you go, saint-sama, have more wine.” Rouge poured more wine into my cup.

“…Rouge, what are you going to do if Shirou gets drunk?”

“Now that you mention it, to be able to do many things to a defenseless saint who passed out drunk… wouldn’t that be the height of immorality?”

Rouge’s depravedness keeps hitting new lows, and at this point it has become something interesting to see how low she would go.

“Now now, Saint-sama, please don’t be reserved and drink as much as you like!”

Not only Rouge, but the village deputy also keeps encouraging me to drink more and more wine.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

By the time the party was almost over, I was quite drunk.

My body felt hot, and I was in such a jovial mood that I wanted to start singing; also, my clothes feels suffocating, and I want to take them off right away.

Even so, I managed to keep calm and rational, and I understood that I was in a dangerous state of mind.

“Saint-sama, how would you like a bottle of brandy for after the meal?”

The village deputy seemed to enjoy seeing me drunk. It reminds me of the shady uncles back on earth who kept egging girls to drink. I guess in this world, it’s the shady aunts who do it to young boys.

“Ish fine, I think I’ve had enough. Anymore of it, and I’ll be drunk for shure. Sheshily, I think ish time for ush to leave.”

“Please don’t say that. We have prepared rooms for all of you, so please stay at our home for tonight.”

It seems they had kindly prepared guest rooms for us. I might have modified the carriage with magic to make it more comfortable to sleep in, but sometimes I still want to be able to sleep alone and relax. If you’re asking why, it’s because sleeping together with three girls makes me accumulated stress, as even though we’re huddling together, I shouldn’t lay my hands on them.

Come to think of it, maybe it’s similar situation with the girls.

…

I was a little dizzy, but I was finally able to reach my room on my own.

“Okami-san, are you alright? You’re swaying too much.” Miina worriedly asked.

“You ended up drinking too much again… Alright, hold your arms up so I can take off your outer garment.”

“I’m so lucky! I get to touch Shirou-san’s butt again ♡.”

The girls helped me change my clothes. It seems like someone is touching my butt, but at this point I no longer care.

“Hum, knock yourself out.”

Somehow, I feel like a king.

“I can really do that!? Then I won’t hold myself back. Here goes!”

Rouge’s eyes flashed and she quickly pulled my waistband.

“AAaaa～hhhh～ ”

And I’ve quickly fallen from being a king to being a town girl caught by an evil overlord.

But they diligently only changed my saint costume, and it was completed without any weird incident like stripping me down into underwear. [1] I wanted to thank them all with a thank you kiss, but I restrained myself from doing so.

Every day, I’ve been reflecting on all the mistakes I’ve done while living my everyday life, and I feel like little by little, I’m becoming a more mature person.

——————————————————————————————————————

I woke up in the middle of the night.

Maybe it was because I’d drunk too much, but my throat felt dry and tingly.

I made a container filled with water and drank it down, and now I felt the need to go to the bathroom. There was a pot under the bed, and I was told to use it if I needed to use the toilet at night, but I’m reluctant. After all, it would be embarrassing to be seen after doing my business.

Also, when the servant told me about the pot, it felt like she was having a lecherous expression. I’m pretty sure she was imagining me using the pot. Really, what a pervert she was… [2]

…

I slung my bag over my shoulder and went out into the hallway. The area was pitch black and eerily quiet. Thanks to the magic lantern, I could perfectly see my surroundings, but where was the toilet? I’m certain that it was supposed to be in the courtyard, but I don’t remember how to get there.

I was thinking that I needed to hurry there before I hit my limit, when I suddenly ran into someone in the hallway.

“Clarice-san?”　

It was Clarice, whom I had treated, or rather, given candy to during the day.

“Oh, it’s Saint-sama himself. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“Well, actually, I was going to use the toilet.”

“Oh…”

Clarice looked away embarrassed.

I’m sorry, did I ruin your fantasy? Even saints have to go to the toilet, you know.　

And that moment, somehow I could imagine that Rouge would be calling it ‘the Holy Water’. I guess I’ve been infected by her depravedness…

“Anyway, can you tell me where the toilet is?”

“At the end of the hallway, turn left, and at the middle there’s a door that leads to the courtyard.”

“I see, thank you. By the way, what are you doing here, Clarice?”

“I was so thrilled that I got to walk again that I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve been practicing my walking.” Clarice, who said that while being embarrassed, looks very cute to me.

There are not many women like her in this world, since they’re usually more buff and muscular. If I had to describe it, she gave off the impression of the more feminine women back on Earth.

“If you’d like to, you can hold my hand. That way you can practice walking while guiding me toward the courtyard.”

I held out my hand and Clarice hesitantly grabbed it.

…

In the end, Clarice escorted me all the way to the toilet. Look, it’s hard to take a pee while holding a lantern, you know? Not to mention it was pitch black inside the toilet, so I was afraid of going in alone.

I know that there shouldn’t be any monster inside a toilet but being in an unfamiliar place made me restless.

Pssshhhhhh… *zip*

Whew. Really glad I made it to the toilet before reaching my limit.

“I’m sorry for troubling you. I’m really bad at being in a dark place.”

“No, no, don’t worry. It’s common for men being afraid in the dark anyway. Actually, I also don’t like being in a dark place, that’s why I usually get mocked by people around me.”

Either in this world or back on earth, people have their own expectations after all. Men are expected to act like men, and women are expected to behave like women, even if the idea of femininity and masculinity is swapped.

I was about to wash my hands with water from the bucket when Clarice poured water on me with a ladle.

“Thank you very much.”

“No prob… –ah!”

Maybe because she had been standing for quite some time, Clarice lost her balance and was about to fall down. This person had just learned to walk for the first time in several years, so I think she still has trouble with moving her muscles.

“I’m sorry. This is because I made you to accompany me to the toilet.”

“No… This is because I’m really pathetic…”

Clarice burst into tears.

“Actually, six years ago, my fiancé left me for someone else…”

Clarice then told me her story. Her fiancé was renowned as a gorgeous man.  He was good-natured, and the village deputy was happy that she had found a good son-in-law. One evening, however, Clarice witnessed something outrageous. In a barn illuminated by the rays of the setting sun, she saw her fiancé, with an expression of delight on his face, surrendering himself over to a peddler woman.

“He enjoyed having an affair before we even got married. I think he was never attracted to wimpy women like me in the first place.”

In this world’s society, what’s considered to be an ideal woman is someone strong, lively, and active. And someone introverted like Clarice didn’t fit that image.

“And me, even when I saw the peddler woman was having an intimate skin to skin contact with my fiancé, I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t even say anything. I didn’t even have the guts to yell them to stop…”

It must have been a shock to see firsthand the betrayal of someone you loved.

Naturally, the engagement was then called off, and her ex-fiancé ran off with the peddler to escape the situation on the village. Meanwhile Clarice, unable to bear the stares and whispers of those around her, became withdrawn and depressed to the point of not being able to walk.

“I’m truly a pathetic woman…”

“I don’t think so. After all, Clarice-san, you managed to walk again all by yourself, don’t you?”

“No, I managed to walk because of your treatment, Saint-sama…”

“No, all I did was encourage you to be able to walk again. You know, Clarice-san, when I saw you practicing walking while holding on to the wall, it really left a deep impression on me.”

“That’s… surely it can’t be true…” Clarisse’s face turned bright red and averted her face. “I think Saint-sama only says those words out of compassion…”

If we were in an H-manga, I think this is the part where she grabs my hand and says, ‘Please hold me tight, and help me regain my confidence’, but such thing would be too convenient to happen here. Moreover, if we were to do it, and rumor about it got out, people are likely to come rushing in one after another in hope of doing it with me too.

I may not be a saint, but if I’m going to be treated as such, I’d like to maintain the façade of being someone pure for a while. I mean, it’s too early to give into my lewdness, right?

Hmm, maybe I should just fantasize about a sexual scenario in my head for now?

A trembling Clarice stands timidly in front of me.

‘Don’t worry, just leave it to me. Onii-san here will teach you everything.’

‘It feels too good, I’m about to… Ah!’

‘Did it feel good? Now, it’s your turn to make me feel good too…’

And after that…

‘It was amazing. Hey, don’t you feel like you’re getting more confidence now?’

Probably something along those. After all, the scenario of an older girl leading on a younger boy is a mainstream template. Oh, but in this world, it becomes the older boy that leads the younger girl.

“Excuse me, saint-sama? Is something the matter?”

That’s no good, I was too immersed in the world of fantasy. Clarice is really depressed, and so I want to do something about it. There’s no way I can change her personality, though.

“Suppose that, you find it really unbearable to stay here, because of all the whispers and gazes, I think it’s fine if you just run away from here.”

“…run away?”

“That’s right. You can leave this village and go to the city, or maybe you can start a new life somewhere else. If you consult with your grandmother, perhaps she could give you some money to do that?”

“That was… the first time anyone ever suggested that I could just run and leave the village behind.”

Poor girl. It seems like she’s the type that holds it all inside when being cornered.

After that, I sat down on a stone in the garden and talked with Clarice for a while. By the time the moon set over the mountains in the west, I think her stress had diminished considerably.

We then returned to the main house, hand in hand.

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1 Wow. I thought Rouge was gonna make the most of the situation, but turned out she still had the decency to not strip him. Color me surprised.

2 Shirou, as a pervert yourself, you don’t get to say that line lol