Lilian of Turin

In a world so degenerate and fragile, he would rather be a monster and a disaster.

***

Tier Infinity.

It was an informal title that he had had since a long time ago, when he was still nothing and was just the youngest prince.

More informally…

“M, mo…monster!”

…is what he is.

It was a word he’d heard more than his name when young. Locked in the darkness, Damian recalled indifferently.

Currently, he’s standing alone in the magic tunnel, which directly connects Turin and Cantacun.

It was quiet and dark, as if he had returned to before he was born.

Damian was a late child. He had older brothers who were already grown up when he was born. The younger brother, who was born at the same time as the Crown Prince had his marriage, was not very welcome.

Moreover, he even smashed the magical power instrument seven days after his birth.

[This is the first time since the beginning of the instrument’s history.]

In an atmosphere like thin ice, the people involved trembled and reported.

In the silence, the Emperor looked down at the baby with emotionless eyes. Then he touched the cheek with a wrinkled hand that wore the Emperor’s signet ring.

He was alive.

Still innocent, but don’t know what kind of seed it is.

No one knows what kind of wind ‘this’ will bring to the Empire he devoted his whole life to, and the country where his name will remain golden.

‘It might be the simplest thing to kill and get rid of it, but…’

At that moment, what grabbed the Emperor was a bit of humanity rather than denial.

‘Isn’t this a baby who had just turned 7 days old?”

Murder was an opponent he didn’t like.

The Emperor thought of Claude, his second son. In case the older son died, the second son, who was raised as an extra, was on the side of knowing his place well.

Maybe he thought it would make sense to give this baby a chance to learn how to live.

The Emperor decided to grant his mercy.

[If you become your brother’s sword, you might be able to survive.]

The reason why Damian jumped into the battlefield was not to survive as he said.

Nor did he have the common sense of resonance or eagerness to prove his existence that a boy would have.

It was because the battlefield where flesh and blood cooled was a place where it’s okay to become a monster in order to win.

Damian just wanted to be in a place where he was accepted. The battlefield was the only sanctuary where Damian’s inhumanity could be tolerated.

In a place where he could let go of his self-control for a while and go crazy like he was born to, Damian spent his time at will.

What was unexpected was that the people began to honor Damian as a triumphant general and a hero of the Empire.

He couldn’t understand it at first. He thought the whole world was crazy.

Instead of the reality of the massacre he had committed, he saw an extra with only the words ‘Great Victory’ written on it.

Damian thought then that the world seemed to be made up of that flimsy piece of paper.

‘Just how much…’

Isn’t this world an absurdly fragile and simple place?

On that sheet of paper, his father, the reigning Emperor, looked the same.

He looked down at him with cold eyes, measuring his life and death, but he couldn’t think of anything.

One day, when he was old, his father called him and asked him a question.

[Are you planning to become Emperor?]

What did he answer then?

[Well, that sounds like a good idea. I was feeling quite bored.]

Looking at the father who raised his eyebrows, the beautiful boy smiled innocently. And at the end of a fading smile, he added, pretending to be generous.

[Don’t be alarmed. I might change my mind if it’s too bothersome.]

[What kind of joke is that!]

[You won’t believe me no matter what I say anyway, right?]

Saying that, Damian was calm.

[So choose the one you like better and believe in it.]

After that, the Emperor did not call on him again until he died.

The father and son were reunited at the funeral. Damian was the fourth person in line of succession and the fourth to say his last goodbye before his father’s corpse.

[Dear father…]

At the place where his older brother, nephew, and second older brother prayed for the peace of the dead, Damian spoke honestly for the first and last time.

[…I just want all of this to fall.]

He wanted to break this fragile cardboard world and tear the paper dolls to shreds.

That’s what he wished for all of them.

That was his answer.

In an unenthusiastic voice, the boy spilled poison-like words on the father’s coffin. It was Idoel, the eldest brother, who caught Damian as he was about to leave.

[Damian, are you going?]

[Brother.]

As if to prove they’re of the same bloodline, the good-natured Emperor was a person who tolerated even his youngest brother, who was a monster.

It wasn’t easy for Damian to have bad feelings.

Instead of answering, the Emperor smiled faintly at the youngest, who merely shrugged his shoulders, congratulating him.

[You’ve worked hard.]

[It’d be embarassing to call that hard work.]

After hearing how he said goodbye to their father. There’s a degree to being good-natured.

However, Idoel shook his head resolutely, saying, [No.]

[No matter what you meant, this Empire is clearly indebted to you.]

Damian didn’t admit it until the end, but the stubborn Idoel told him so.

He bestowed the grandiose title of “Imperator Leyengrad”. It was an unprecedented honor with permanent immunity.

And after a while, that older brother also died.

Locked in the darkness of the tunnel, Damian stared down at his gloved hand.

When he was young, whenever his mana ran out of control, his hands were the first to deform.

A terrible burning sensation was usually felt in the deformed arm. However, it didn’t sympathize with Damian, who was in pain.

It was because the sharp, huge and twisted arms, as if wearing black iron armor, aroused people’s disgust and fear even if it did nothing.

There were times when he couldn’t stand it and begged to have his arm cut off. When no one listened and Damian hurt himself, the father clicked his tongue as if he was sick of it and only ordered to put him on restraints that would only be worn by fighting dogs.

In that situation, Idoel was the only one who didn’t treat him like a monster.

Although he could not remove the Emperor’s restraints, the friendly young man did his best to comfort his younger brother, who acted worse than a beast.

[Yesterday I went through the old texts. Damian.]

[…]

[Aren’t you curious what was written? Hm?]

Ideol spoke cheerfully. Damian smiled. Then he opened his mouth.

Please, brother.

[Shut that mouth.]

The smile that formed on Idoel’s lips faded. Damian closed his eyes.

He knew. This big brother was the only person in the world who cares for him, even if he’s just pretending.

‘I should have acted like a tamed dog…’

He knew he had to be gentle so he won’t be abandoned. however, Idoel was his father’s favorite child who imprisoned him like this.

If he hurt this person, wouldn’t it be possible to get even a little revenge on the father who’s behind him?

There was also something deeper than that.

‘What if I get tamed and then abandoned?’

He won’t be able to stand it. Young Damian thought so.

Idoel understood the thorns that Damian had set up. That was the child’s way of defending himself. Maybe Damian could have been more comfortable if Idoel gave up and stepped away.

But he was also a stubborn adult. He had no intention of giving up on his brother.

[I’ve heard people say that if you meet someone with a natural lack of mana, you’ll be able to make up for each other’s imbalanced constitutions. Damian.]

Damian thought it was complete nonsense. Ideol spoke slowly.

[I don’t know how that’s possible. But Damian, I promise you. I will find it. You just have to be patient.]

Don’t die, don’t go crazy.

Despite Idoel’s request, Damian didn’t have hope.

He didn’t want to torture himself.

Rather, he developed a habit of not dreaming of miracles.

Is that why? Even now, when the pain in his hand was gone, he still thought about it in that old habit.

Maybe this is a dream.

There’s no way this could be real.

It seemed that the unchanging reality would greet him once he exited the darkness of the tunnel.

Just as he was a monster when he was first born, he remain unchanged even now.

“But what if it’s real?’