Love Doesn't Matter

Chapter 106 – Shrouded in Shadows

“The symptoms are clear,” Emilia said, feeling her legs grow weak. If she hadn’t been lying in bed, she might have collapsed right there.

“Of course, we can’t say for sure until you experience morning sickness… but since you’ve skipped your lunar cycle twice, I’m convinced. Also, in the early stages, a woman may miscarry without even knowing she was pregnant, so please be careful,” the doctor explained.

“Yes, it’s better to be cautious and assume it’s true for now,” Yvonne, who had been standing behind them, interjected.

“Clear your mind and accept it,” she added.

“Yes,” Emilia replied, placing her hand on her stomach.

Even though the two spoke so emphatically, she couldn’t really comprehend it.

I’m really pregnant…

The scene in front of her seemed distant, like looking over the edge of a dark cliff. A soft, silken sensation settled on her trembling shoulders. It was the queen’s hand.

“Congratulations. A child is always a blessing, no matter the circumstances,” the queen said.

Yes, I must treasure it. Even if I don’t know anything else, I must try.

Emilia gathered her strength and steadied her trembling body.

“You came to me without telling anyone, right?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Yes, you did well. The existence of a child in your womb will cause great upheaval. If my speculation is correct, Duke Meyer will never allow the child to go unacknowledged as a bastard,” the queen explained.

At that moment, Emilia felt something else well up inside her, as if on the verge of overflowing. She had to clench her hands tightly to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

As Yvonne looked down at Emilia, her eyes gradually filled with a complex mix of emotions.

“Seeing how wise and composed you are, my heart is at peace,” Yvonne said.

“It is beyond what I deserve… I don’t know what to say,” Emilia replied, her voice full of sadness. Without realizing it, Yvonne had moved closer to Emilia and gently caressed her cold hands.

“I don’t trust people easily, and I don’t know who you really are. If it weren’t for the deal with Duke Meyer, I would never have allowed you to stay here,” Yvonne began.

“…”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I find your ability to read the atmosphere and your cautious nature quite appealing. So I hope you will feel comfortable here,” Yvonne said.

“Thank you.”

As she said that, the image of herself bursting into tears at the sight of Yvonne came to Emilia’s mind, and her heart grew even more melancholy.

According to the stories Yvonne had heard from various sources, this child was essentially no different from a princess. And yet, she found herself unexpectedly pregnant. How scared and anxious she must be.

Damn those despicable men.

Yvonne grit her teeth.

Why is it always men who make trouble?

Even the king himself had said such things. If only he had left the women of Bern alone, they would probably have lived happily by themselves.

In the end, it was the men around this child who were the problem.

Her father, who had indulged in unreasonable greed, the incredibly greedy Hadius Meyer, and even the king…

Yes, my husband is also to blame.

When her thoughts reached this point, Yvonne felt a pang of guilt in her chest.

If my husband hadn’t used the child and left her alone, this wouldn’t have happened.

…

If that child had been my daughter, Margaret…

Yvonne was caught by unexpected compassion, tightly embracing her small, delicate shoulders like Margaret’s.

“Don’t think about anything and stay calm. There’s nothing more harmful to the fetus than worry or anxiety. You have to be very careful in the early stages of pregnancy. The risk of miscarriage is high.”

Emilia nodded eagerly, like a well-behaved child.

“I will do my best to help. I will discuss this matter with His Majesty the King right away, so try to avoid going out as much as possible until a decision is made and stay here absolutely.”

Emilia’s mouth opened and closed slowly.

Practical matters like family, moving, and restaurants overwhelmed her mind, but the queen was right.

Now was not the time to worry about such things.

“I will assign you a trustworthy maid. Otherwise, you must never mention the pregnancy to anyone. Just accept my invitation and stay here for a few days. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“If you need anything, just ask. I hope you won’t hesitate or waver. I can’t stand guests who complain in silence. That’s the only thing you should remember.”

Despite the cold tone, Emilia could feel the thoughtfulness in it.

“Yes, I will remember that. I will stay here comfortably without causing any trouble to the royal family.”

Yvonne smiled softly.

“That’s right. Rest well today without any worries.”

The queen squeezed her hand tightly and soon left the room.

Left alone, Emilia stared into space for a moment.

Could this be a dream?

Her hand moved instinctively to her stomach.

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Pregnancy… The belly would grow gradually, but when and how should she tell her family?

She wished she were home, where Charlotte would giggle and tell her it was all a dream. How wonderful would that be?

In her desperate thoughts, Emilia felt a sudden sense of guilt toward the being in her womb.

Perhaps the child could read and feel these thoughts.

Struggling to shake off the persistent cold and gloomy mood, she slowly got up.

Emilia immediately began writing letters. One to Mitch and one to Ingrid. Of course, she couldn’t mention anything about the child.

After a while, the “trustworthy maid” Yvonne had mentioned knocked on the door and entered. The woman had black hair, auburn eyes, and a somewhat disheveled face, but she seemed incredibly cheerful.

“Hello, miss. My name is Dahlia. Nice to meet you,” she greeted Emilia.

Emilia asked Dahlia to find Mr. Beppy in the stables and bring him to her.

Dahlia was not only trustworthy and intelligent, but also very agile. It took her less than 30 minutes to get Mr. Beppy to knock on the door.

As Emilia stood in front of the burly Mr. Beppy, she felt her heart flutter and her legs shake again.

“Sir, I think I’m going to stay here for a few days. Please tell my family that I met the Queen safely. And this letter, too.”

Beppy nodded and put the letter deep into his jacket pocket. But he couldn’t seem to step away.

Emilia realized that the thought “I will protect Emilia” was about to appear again on his hesitant face. She quickly put on a soft smile.

“Don’t worry. This is the safest place on earth. And it’s what Lord Meyer wanted.”

Finally, Beppy nodded and left the room.

Emilia, who had carried a lingering uneasiness in her heart until the end, sat back on the bed.

Her mind felt fuzzy, as if she had been hit on the head. Her cold hands moved repeatedly to her abdomen, as if to confirm something.

What should I do now? I can’t go outside.

She had screamed loudly that this was the safest place in the world, according to Beppy. But she couldn’t be completely sure. There must be eyes and ears secretly watching even in the depths of the palace.

It’s better to stay hidden here for a while.

Emilia took a deep breath and drew her knees closer. Then she suddenly corrected her posture, startled.

Is it okay to press on my belly like that? What if it hurts the baby?

Lost in thought, Emilia sat in an uncomfortable position.

Yes, there are still so many things I don’t know. Fear and anxiety mostly come from ignorance.

Emilia rang the bell and called Dahlia. She asked if it was possible to get books from the royal library, emphasizing that no one should know about it except the queen.

Dahlia understood immediately.

An hour later, snacks and nearly a dozen books on pregnancy and childbirth were chaotically scattered on Emilia’s bed.

* * *

As dusk began to fall in the late afternoon, William Richards struggled to keep his eyebrows from furrowing beneath the spreading vines of the willow tree. What on earth could be the matter that Bianca was beating around the bush like this? As soon as he heard that she was so anxious to meet him, he dropped everything and hurried to her.

But for the past hour, Bianca had been rambling on about strange stories that women would tell each other.

“How many men in the world are like Mr. Meyer, indifferent to women and without color?” she asked.

“I feel that I have spent too long in the convent of Saint-Burge. I should have made my debut in society like other girls… I feel I’ve become an ignorant child in this modern world.”

“That common woman, I mean. I’m thinking of going to see her. Mrs. Meyer also deeply regrets having treated that girl so harshly,” she said.

William suppressed the impatience bubbling inside him.

He had always thought of her as a niece. She was one of the few “intelligent women” in the world who were not yet in their prime.

With the thought that something must be wrong, he endured the senseless rumors.

And finally.

“Sir Richards, what if…”

Seeing Bianca hesitate with darkened eyes, William prepared his heart.

“If… our alliance were to break, who between Hadius and I would suffer more?”

“…!”

William stroked his mustache vigorously to hide his confusion.

“Why? Have you suddenly… lost interest in marriage?”

He asked deliberately, making it sound like a joke.

“No, it’s not that. It’s not that I don’t want to get married or that I doubt our alliance. I just want to be sure. Who would be more invested in this marriage, and if the company fails, who would suffer more between Richards and Meyer? Things like that,” she explained.

Bianca’s reply was breezy, but William was not fooled in the least.

Questions that he had considered useless until a moment ago began to resurface in his mind, putting together a puzzle.

Each question has a purpose. What could be the intention of a woman about to be married when she asks such questions?

Come to think of it, a few days ago he had suggested to Bianca that she find out Hadius Meyer’s true intentions.

“Why? Has something happened to hurt your pride because of Mr. Meyer?”