Love Doesn't Matter

Chapter 47 – Someone I’ve Never Had

Fortunately, Hadius accepted the book with a beautiful smile on his face. There wasn’t any feeling of displeasure or refusal.

“Allowing it, that’s an absurd thing to say. I heard that you cared a lot about my fiancée. I would like to take this opportunity today to thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Helping and supporting talented people is the joy and pride of my family.”
“Didn’t you do what I should have done? I feel sorry.”
“That was never my intention.”

Hadius immediately showed Emilia the book.

“I will hold onto this and give it to you inside the carriage.”

Emilia tried not to be fooled by the smiling face.
But it was too natural to say that he was acting.

“Thank you very much for the gift. I will read it.”

When she raised her head again, she saw Mrs. Lüen approaching them from afar.

“There you are. The gentlemen are waiting for you with great anticipation. Can you see it over there?”

As Lüen pointed towards the balcony, the young men raised their hands as if they were waiting.

“Why don’t you come and greet them for a moment?”

Hadius turned to Emilia and asked, “Will you be fine?”. Emilia nodded her head as if giving him permission.

“Then shall we go?”

Mrs. Lüen led the two men to a group of young men.

Throughout the time they were walking, Hadius conversed with Nathan.
He had a face that looked comfortable no matter who looked at it. To the point that what he said about ‘dealing with him’ felt like a lie.

Emilia relaxed and leaned her stiff back against the wall.

Beyond the pillars, the men were seen shaking hands and conversing with each other.
As always, Hadius naturally blended among the people. On the other hand, Nathan only exchanged greetings and was keeping a reasonable distance.

Come to think of it, Nathan Malvin has always been like that. Why is it?

“What do you think, Miss Bern? Are you enjoying the party?”

She turned around at the sudden voice and saw Mrs. Lüen’s daughter, Josephine Lüen, standing there. Emilia quickly smiled.

“Yes, I think your Mother really prepared a lot. It will be more memorable for me as it is my first ball.”
“A ball that Miss Bern will remember, I’m overwhelmed with pride.”
“It’s kind of you to say that.”

Although she knew she was only giving a stereotyped, formal answer, she couldn’t help it.
After all, this is the world of the Cavendish. Emilia was not naive enough to be deceived by her extreme hospitality and pretentious smile.

Unfortunately, that young lady seemed to have a different opinion than hers. Isn’t she suddenly linking her arms with hers while smiling brightly, as if she were meeting her best friend? Emilia’s body stiffened slightly at the unhindered contact. Josephine pressed her chest with her hands and looked at her with admiration.

“Miss Bern is the most beautiful and dignified woman I have ever seen. Have you ever seen the painting ‘Lady with a Teacup’ by Sir Maxion? You have a very similar atmosphere to the woman in the painting.”

Emilia hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say. It was difficult to let go of her vigilance.

“I have never seen it, but I will definitely look for it. I don’t know what to say because I am undeserving of your words.”

She answered with a bit of honesty mixed with formality.
On one hand, it was sad. How did she become such a suspicious and wary person?

“Ah, Josephine, you were here? Come on, let’s go. Mrs. Moria is looking for you.”

Mrs. Lüen was approaching them from the other side. Josephine looked back at Emilia and winked.

“We’ll talk more at the salon later. Alright?”

***

Gatherings between noblemen usually started with light bets, went through gambling and sports, and ended with political talk.

Hadius was quietly observing Nathan Malvin, who was matching the mood with suitable responses and a smile.

He leaned leisurely next to the fireplace. He was pretending to be bored, but Hadius was able to notice it immediately.
At the end of his glance, she was there.

“Does Meyer Steel plan to participate in the development of steam locomotives as well as mines?”

Someone who likes to pretend to know blocked him. Hadius smiled softly and answered kindly.

Meanwhile, Malvin glanced at her once more. Then, all of a sudden, he was startled by his own actions and shook his head.
His brown hair swayed gently, revealing a clear forehead, a beautiful nose, and a sharp jawline in turn.

Has he ever cared so much about someone else’s appearance?

Nathan Malvin’s ‘extremely handsome’ appearance, rather than ‘decent enough’, was enough to make Hadius’ neck twitch. Being that tall without having to look down was another unpleasant factor.

Nathan Malvin, who had been staring blankly into the void with a frown, suddenly crossed his arms with a determined face.
After that, he never looked at Emilia again.

In that very scene, Hadius saw himself as a child.

Damn it.
He didn’t let go of his curious mind until the end.

He’s only a childish, rustic, vulgar guy.
However, his hopes were undoubtedly shattered.

He handled his heavy emotions by taking a deep breath.

“I am so happy that everyone seems to have had a good time talking to each other. But you can’t make your partner wait too long, right? Shall we go now?”

At Lüen’s words, the men left the salon one after the other. Hadius also tried to return to Emilia right away.
But Nathan Malvin suddenly stopped him.

“Excuse me, can I talk to you for a moment?”
“… Of course.”

Nathan slowed down as if trying to control his speed. Realizing that he was trying to avoid people, Hadius also deliberately walked slowly.
After a while, they were alone as intended.

“It may sound rude, but I have something I really want to ask you.”

There was no vigilance or provocation in Nathan, who spoke politely.
That’s a given. In his eyes, Hadius was a petty human who was anxious to abandon his fiancée, nothing more, nothing less.

Nevertheless, Hadius wanted to break his neck. He shoved his impatient hands in his pockets and nodded his head as if telling him to continue.

“May I know when the breakup will happen?”
“I wonder why you ask such a thing.”

Nathan replied calmly.

“From now on, I want to give her the books myself. Without such cumbersome procedures.”

Hadius’ heart pumped vigorously and began to pour out blood.

***

When the men came out of the salon and Hadius appeared at the end, Emilia was the first to look at his face. He has always been an expressionless person, so she didn’t expect to be able to figure out what he was thinking, but she wanted to check somehow.

Fortunately, his eyes were calmer. At least, it seemed that nothing happened in there.

Feeling relieved, she wondered about Nathan Malvin.

She was about to turn her head back towards the salon, but Hadius blocked her vision. He handed Emilia one of the champagne glasses he was holding in his hands.

“Ah, thank you.”

As Emilia looked down at the sparkling alcohol inside the glass, she decided not to venture out to ask about Nathan Malvin’s well-being.

On that day, when Hadius doubted her relationship with Nathan, she was angry about why she was making such excuses; but the truth is, there is nothing wrong with being careful.
It is definitely wrong to get involved in rumors with another man after being engaged under His Majesty’s order.

“It’s already dark.”

Standing side by side, they looked out the window.
Dusk fell and faint starlight started to embroider the sky one by one.
As the servants busily wandered around and turned on the lamps, the leaves swayed in the wind, reflecting the golden light here and there.

It’s awkward. She should have said something…

Emilia, who was thinking hard, came up with the fact that she had something to explain to him.

“What Young Master Malvin was talking about earlier. I will tell you in advance in case you misunderstood, but while taking bridal lessons at the Cavendish mansion, sometimes I…”
“You helped manage the ledgers. Nathan Malvin helped solve many problems that appeared in the process.”

Emilia opened her eyes wide and said, “Yes.”, nodding.

“How did you learn accounting?”
“It’s not that I learned. I just read a few books.”
“… You mean you studied alone?”
“Yes, so I’m not perfect. I just know a little bit.”
“You don’t need to be humble. I know you’re smart. Anyway, that’s great.”

Strangely, the heat rose to her ears. Pretending to be indifferent, Emilia answered, “Thank you.”, and turned her flushed face to the opposite side.

“I have a lot of books like this in my study. Or I can even make a study for you.”

Hadius held up the book Nathan had given her.

“But there are limits to self-study. It would be better to attend school formally. I will help you.”
“No, I’ll just gladly accept your thoughts.”

She thought he would be sarcastic at the cold rejection, but Hadius just shrugged his shoulders.

“… Think about it slowly.”

No.

As she was about to answer, she shut her mouth, overwhelmed by something unknown.

He wasn’t forcing her; it was just a suggestion.
Besides, did he not receive the book Nathan gave her without hesitation? It’s not something to thoughtlessly reject and be angry about.
Above all, Emilia didn’t want to break the peaceful mood that had just been created.

“… Is the Cavendish’s butler called Haspel?”
“Yes, I was purely helping him at no cost, but Young Master Malvin found out about it by accident and warned Mr. Haspel. He said he should pay me a reasonable compensation.”

For some reason, he, who used to growl whenever they talked about Nathan, drank only a sip of champagne without saying anything.
Suddenly, courage arose.

“Young Master Malvin is simply intolerant of injustice. He said that a weak person suffering makes him uncomfortable.”
“… Did he say that? In front of you?”
“Yes, he doesn’t carry any kind of great feelings towards me.”

A light smile appeared on the lips that touched the glass.

“Yes, I made sure of something too. At least there won’t be any rumors that the Meyer’s fiancée was having an affair.”

In an instant, she lost the strength in her legs. Sighing in relief, Emilia brought the glass to her mouth. Champagne was so sweet that it was hard to believe it was an alcoholic beverage.

“Anyway… I am grateful.”
“Grateful? For what?”
“You cleared up your misunderstanding easily like this.”

The man paused for a moment. A crooked smile hung on his lips.

“I cleared up the misunderstanding? How did you come up with such a funny idea?”
“… Did you… Not?”
“Why did that bastard suddenly bring up that Haspel talk in front of me? Out of the many things to talk about, why that?”
“That… Because it’s something important that I wasn’t aware of. It’s also proof that we don’t meet for personal reasons.”
“Alright. He only picked safe answers. He was defensive in advance because he was afraid that his feelings would be discovered in front of everyone.”
“No, it’s not like that. That’s speculation.”

Hadius shrugged. It looked like a wall that no hammer could break through.

“Again, Young Master Malvin has no particular feelings for me. He just wants to help people in a position like mine.”
“That’s funny. He was constantly glancing at you. The Malvin family hides their promiscuous thoughts with the good words that they are open to talented people. Look, he’s like that now, too.”

Her eyes unknowingly turned towards the balcony.
Nathan was really staring at her. The moment their eyes met, strangely, Nathan’s face suddenly darkened. Then he turned his head away, as if avoiding her.

“Shall I tell you the truth?”

Emilia’s eyes turned to Hadius again.
His characteristic cool and insensitive eyes had completely disappeared.

He clutched the thin glass as if he were about to break it, showing his anger.

“That guy is crazy about you. Like an animal in rut.”