Love Doesn't Matter

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Chapter 71 – Bizarre Longing

With her one hand holding the dog’s leash, her other hand grabbed Hadius’ hand. This was perhaps due to a congenital handicap, but everything about Charlotte was too small for her age. It felt strange to hold her very small hand that looked like his hand was empty.

“Go to the beach. Let me show you something very surprising. I don’t have any complaints about being unable to see as I have been blind since I was born…. But it was so sad that I couldn’t see it.”

“Is that so? I’m looking forward to it then, though I don’t know what that is.”

“That I will never be disappointed. Of course, though I have never seen one.”

Recommending something so enthusiastically like that without seeing one, Hadius laughed without realizing.

With Brave in the lead, the two started walking along the trail.

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Just as he thought he had been listening to the rustles of the leaves for quite some time, Charlotte opened her mouth again.

“The atmosphere inside the house was messed up because of the Annihilation Squad incident. I was the first person to know that, so in the end, it all happened because of me.”

Hadius’ listening without paying much attention stopped for a moment. Thinking of it, how did Emilia know about the Annihilation Squad incident? Mitch Bern couldn’t have been the one who told her that.

“Can I ask you one thing?”

“Yes, anything.”

“You know about the Annihilation Squad?”

“That is….”

A ridiculous misunderstanding stemming from a single pistol, several stories flowed out and revealed as a result. Charlotte had no idea, but Hadius’ heart, which was barely shaken, was pounding as she continued speaking.

“Mitch believed the people of Hilden Farm were revolutionary. I only have one pistol.”

Hadius stiffened even more when the name ‘Hilden Farm’ suddenly popped up.

“But it’s a little strange when you think about it. Why did the people of the farm have ‘pistols’? My sister also said that it was strange so she was planning to visit the village’s vigilante corps.”

Those last words were enough to make him nervous. What if Emilia found out the true identity of Hilden Farm?

The reason and purpose why it exists – what if she learns the truth about the forces that threatened her life? It made him feel like his blood was draining just thinking about it. He knew that Mitch Bern had doubts about the farm, but he thought that it would be alright. He thought it would be impossible to uncover its real purpose since everyone was an experienced soldier. I was too careless.

“Young Master?” Charlotte tilted her head thinking that she had been too talkative.

Hadius tried to speak in a casual tone of voice, “It would be better to leave the matter to me. Since your older sister is very busy these days and she’s struggling with various problems.”

“Really? Young Master will really help?”

“Yes.”

Charlotte smiled brightly. The silver-gray eyes looking down at the child fell into darkness.

Why didn’t Emilia ask him about Beppy Dilson’s relationship with Hilden Farm? Did she not think about it because she was distracted by the Annihilation Squad incident, or maybe she had a clue but deliberately didn’t ask? Whatever it is, countermeasures must be taken. She will surely find something strange once all this mess has settled down. I have to prepare another lie in order to deceive you.

The whole process, from his applying for dropout to getting permission, was incredibly easy and fast. It was possible because Mitch Bern was a student who delays his tuition fees whenever he can.

She had thought it was best for him to quit school since the first time it happened, but Emilia felt her heart getting heavy. While Mitch said goodbye to his teacher, she and Beppy stopped by his dormitory room to pack his clothes, books, and other belongings to their carriage. Her younger brother’s things once again weighed down on her older sister’s heart. Not only were they old compared to his roommate’s, but they were obviously inferior and poor quality.

When her despair had reached its peak, she went to another school to check the admission fee and tuition fee. Dressed in a luxurious suit and covered in pomade, the dean of admission scrutinized the shabbily-clothed siblings and sighed in annoyance. He didn’t explain about the school’s education or curriculum, he only emphasized how expensive the tuition and dormitory fees were, almost kicking them out as he told them, ‘I hope you can make an appointment in advance and visit next time’.

“Sister,” Mitch cautiously called the trembling Emilia.

“I want to go to school.”

“···What?”

Her eyes became sharp in an instant. He would have curled up like a turtle at other times, but Mitch didn’t lose his determination and looked straight at his older sister.

“How many boys like me read in school uniforms? Everyone is farming or working in factories.”

Emilia’s mouth had opened to answer and slowly closed. She felt the same way the day she first discovered her stepmother’s debt.

“School was a luxury for us. It was Mom’s excessive greed.”

“Mitch, no, that’s….”

“You also said that – to think realistically.”

Mitch cut off her words as if it wasn’t worth consideration.

“That doesn’t mean I won’t go to school for the rest of my life. I’m just saying I won’t go for a while. I was planning on dropping out anyway regardless of the Annihilation Squad.”

“… What?!”

“Mom’s at the factory. Sister is on the farm, and everyone is working hard, but you want me to leisurely go to school? Put yourself in my shoes, would you be able to do that?”

Mitch continued pushing her after he realized that his sister was left speechless.

“Mom’s health seems to be getting worse and worse, so I want to earn money for the time being just like Sister – not books, uniforms and school.”

What he said was correct. Hadius Meyer wasn’t the one to blame for resenting her stepmother getting into a debt. It was the reality before it was a despicable conspiracy. They were poor even when their father was alive, they became even poorer with Meyer’s greed, and they are still poor even now.

You have to get your act together now that you have realized this miserable reality.

“Alright, then let’s take a semester off.”

“… Oh?”

Mitch panicked for a moment because he had anticipated she would insist on saying no. His face slowly brightened. It was because this was the first time his older sister listened to him since the Annihilation Squad incident.

“Oh, alright…. Thank you, Sister….” Muttering slightly with a bewildered face, Mitch decided to be more courageous while he was at it. “Then… what about this? I will also work at the farm, the vineyard where my sister is working.”

It was Emilia’s turn to panic. Standing tall, she stopped walking and hesitantly told him, ‘That can never be,’ refusing him without giving an explanation. Mitch looked at her as if there was something strange.

“I’m going to quit that job soon.”

“Why?”

“I told you, it’s too far. Even staying out all the time…. Most of all, I want to find something I can do continuously.”

“But that Meyer b*st*rd… no, that person said it – that I can help manage the library there.”

“No.”

Mitch was at a loss again before her firm answer.

“You will never get help from that person. Nothing is free in this world, so Mitch, don’t even think of asking him for help.”

The child’s eyes became more blank.

“Let’s go home now.”

“Oh? Ah….”

Mitch stared blankly at his sister’s terribly cold back and frantically climbed into the carriage.

When the carriage carrying Emilia and Mitch had just set out of the woods, Hadius was listening to Charlotte somewhere on the road leading to the beach. It wasn’t the usual stuff at all. They were imaginary stories of dragons spewing fire from volcanoes, and fairies and dwarfs coming down to the village every night to play pranks.

Listening quietly, Hadius recalled a story about Emilia with her hair cut, throwing a purse and pouring its contents out. It was definitely called ‘money saved for the family.’

“Do you happen to want to go to a school for the blind? I’m thinking of discussing it with your sister.”

Charlotte suddenly stopped walking and turned her face toward him. Hadius laughed again at her rather disappointed expression, saying, ‘I can’t even talk to her about that?’

“I never want to go to school. Young Master said that I should study Braille diligently to become a butterfly, but… I am very good at it now. I can never be a butterfly; I will live as a caterpillar forever and die.”

It was hopeless, but there was no frustration or discouragement in Charlotte’s voice. A peaceful frustration tickled Hadius’ heart strangely.

“Can I tell you a secret? I haven’t told this to my sister yet….”

How would he describe it? Something like he stepped on a thin sheet of ice? Hadius stood frozen on the spot, feeling like his heart was pounding and breaking. Charlotte Berne is going to tell him something she has yet to tell her older sister. Has anyone ever confided their secret to me?

… No one.

Hadius felt strangely nervous. His world was filled with thorough calculations and transactions. That kind of unconditional trust wasn’t at all welcome.

“You must not tell anyone your secrets.”

Charlotte wasn’t upset despite his blunt answer. The child grinned at him and told him, ‘But the Young Master isn’t just ‘anyone’. You are the guardian angel that protects our family.’ Hadius fell into a strange mood once more.

Whether she was aware or not of the other person’s feelings, the child opened her mouth again as she loosened the leash wrapped around her finger.

“I… honestly….”

Realizing that Charlotte was really about to divulge her secret to him, Hadius was captured by a very bizarre longing. It was a very strange, unidentifiable thing, a different form than that directed at Emilia.

“I want to go to watch a troupe.”

“… Troupe? A play of a ‘troupe’?”

“Yes. Exactly that ‘troupe’.”

Hadius blinked slowly, not knowing what to say.

“I know. You may be thinking how I can watch a play while being unable to see. Of course, you are.”

As if something was funny, Charlotte giggled to herself.

“But Young Master forgot one thing. Every play has something called a ‘monster’. I once watched a play called at a village festival. It was the story of a beautiful girl who was captured by the monster. I was into the monster while everyone was focused on the female lead. To be exact, to the hunchback playing the monster.”

A blind child who wants to act as a monster….

“Not bad. But you better keep it a secret from your sister.”

“That’s right.”

Charlotte giggled again.

“Sister always told me that I was an angel. I used to believe that when I was young, but I know it very well now. I can’t be an angel, and I will die soon. This or that will never disappear, and I will never be able to see until I die – I will forever be a one-eyed monster.”

Her words were sad as if the leaves were turning to a dark blue.

“It’s still alright. Not everyone can be a butterfly; there are more people who live rolling on the ground like caterpillars, and… I’m sure there is… someone who likes caterpillars like the Young Master….”

The face of the child, who hesitated as she connected her words, was strangely shining. Hadius once again recalled Emilia.

Now I know how you’ve endured the harsh weight of being my fiancée for the past five years. Behind you are these huge and reliable beings – beings that give you strength to live. It’s your family.

“I think we’re almost there. Can you see the hammock?”

Hadius was able to immediately spot the hammock hanging from a tree on a small hill.

“You can go there. ‘Moria’ is right there.”

“… Moria?”

“You’ll know if you go there.”

Hadius stood in front of the hammock with the child. There was a small box beyond the gently swaying net. Since he wasn’t expecting anything, he was thinking of what the most suitable response in advance to the child’s mood should be. But when he heard the rustling sound coming from the box and stretched his neck to look at what it could be, Hadius was once again speechless.

There was a cat. It was such a small kitten that it made him feel weird because it was so tiny.

“My sister found it. When it rained last time, I think that was when Moria lost its mother and all its siblings.” Charlotte mumbled in a lonely voice. “I want to take it home and raise it, but my sister said I can never. It was a stray cat, so it is wild. Sister told me that we should just leave it alone so that it can naturally live on its own…. But I think it is still a baby for that….”

As if answering Charlotte’s words, the cat purred and growled. Hadius stretched his hand toward the box and lifted up the bundle of brown fur. The next moment, a stinging pain came with a sharp cry. That ball of fur dared to bite his finger.

Hadius quickly suppressed its neck to subdue it. He could’ve strangled it, but the cat rebelled against him instead of fearing him. He lifted the cat higher. The dangling fellow struggled like crazy. With one hand, he clasped its fragile belly. Only then did it drop its body as if surrendering.

“Yes, you have to know how to lose in order to win.”

That moment Hadius muttered in satisfaction, “Charlotte!” a voice as sharp as a cat was heard carried by the waves.

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