Love Doesn't Matter

Chapter 77 – Why Are You So Cruel?

The cat will never show up again.

Hadius clearly remembered the moment when he grabbed the little creature. Its racing pulse under its warm skin was filled with fear. Is there anything else that can kill you other than fear? It would rather die of starvation and never show up. And yet, Hadius was diligently looking for it around the house. The act of searching for it became his purpose, and he couldn’t stop this ridiculous act.

It was the faraway sound of thunder that awakened his hazy consciousness. Hadius opened the shutters of the large window. Rain was running down the drainpipe. Emilia suddenly crossed his mind. She was a terribly disobedient woman who didn’t really listen to him, so she’s possibly not with Charlotte now. She must have been out wandering through the thicket knowing that the hem of her skirt was getting wet.

He went straight to the garden with an umbrella. From the fountains, trees, and pond, he took the same course as Emilia. Halfway across the bridge, he found her sheltering under the pavilion from the rain. Emilia was casually flicking the raindrops with both her hands. Her long, slender fingers tucked her short hair behind her ears, revealing her deep, mature eyes and vivid lips. Isn’t she beautiful just being like that?

Hadius couldn’t help himself with her beautiful side profile. As a matter of fact, Emilia was no different than her father. No matter how they tried, they refused to give up.

But why can’t you give up? You could simply throw away that person named your father. Why are you grabbing my chest and making me anxious?

Hadius crossed the bridge and climbed the stairs to the gazebo. There was no way she wouldn’t feel his presence when he deliberately walked carelessly. Still, Emilia never turned her head to him.

The two people stood shoulder by shoulder without giving each other a glance. As it did under the eaves of the hut, the only thing that narrowed the gap between the two of them was the endless rain.

Finally, Emilia broke the silence several times before the sky roared.

“I believe you now. That Young Master would do his best for my family, regardless of me.”

“Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

“Well, perhaps because of the cat. I don’t really know.”

Mumbling her answer as if she was talking to herself, her voice was harshly cold.

“Something very strange occurred to me when I came to that conclusion. About my stepmother’s debt. I thought that day was completely under Young Master’s control, but I was foolish enough to bear it alone like Madam Lüen’s ball, thinking if you were the one who had instigated it….”

Emilia narrowed her eyes as she reflected back on the events on the terrace that day.

“Am I right?”

Hadius didn’t because it was something she would find out in the future after all.

“Yes, it’s not something I did. I didn’t even know you were in debt until you showed up after your hair had been cut.”

The hand holding the railing trembled for a moment and soon dropped down.

“What about other debts? Do you also have nothing to do with them?”

“What’s important about my answer? Nothing will change even now.”

Hadius answered calmly and turned his gaze to the front again. Emilia disappointedly looked at the leaves swaying in the wind and rain.

“I just want you to know that… you didn’t have any other debts…. I didn’t even know… that you’d appear in front of me after your hair had been cut….”

A hollow and self-deprecating sigh spread through the rain.

“It was my mistake in the end – not blaming anyone. Young Master deceived me by not telling the truth.”

Hadius swallowed a bitter laugh. He hoped that he’d look good in her eyes for once – like a prince that came to save her. However, Emilia wasn’t a fairytale princess waiting for her prince, and what he did was far from a prince’s heroism.

Hadius waited for her next question, wondering how far he could confess to her. Emilia unfortunately didn’t pry any further. She also let out a sigh as if she had already come to a conclusion about her young sibling’s problem.

“That’s right, it won’t make any difference now. I was foolish and you took advantage of it. Those two things have changed our relationship. No matter how hard I try… I will never be able to forget it. Undressing me… that miserable and shameful moment.”

Hadius didn’t deny it. It was deceit and mischief that was used to have an uncompromised relationship. Worse still, he had no regrets. He would still do the same if he could turn back time – because Emilia will never be allowed to be named Meyer.

She will fly out of his reach once she is given her wings. No, maybe he will be given that insignificant position called ‘friend’. D**n that friendship. Just thinking that she was telling him about that relationship made his blood rise.

“You know what? I thought I’d be helping Mr. Haspel in the Cavendish Mansion and realizing my dream as a bookkeeper by now. But everything was spoiled. Regardless of whose fault it is, I really do resent you and your family.”

“….”

“People will never believe it – how terribly I hate your world. Have you ever been run over by people who don’t treat you like a human? Some people who want to pretend to be generous would count me in, but why should I be satisfied with only the crumbs? I don’t need it at all.”

“….”

“Do you know what’s really sad about it? It was the fact that I always had a crush on the Young Master. I pretended not to, but you had favorable feelings toward your fiancée in name only. If you hadn’t done such a thing… I might have a fond memory of you being a good person….”

Contrary to Emilia’s expectations, her last words were more terrible than ‘friendship’ to Hadius. It was better for him to be called ‘a terrible man’, who she mixes her body with and gives her pleasure, than to be ‘a good man.’

Trying to control her anger, Emilia slapped the water droplets on the railing. She then raised her head again as she thought of something.

“… I saw Moria. Over there.”

Her cold fingers pointed somewhere in the bushes.

“Bring it food and water. It will eat by itself.”

“… Alright.”

There was another faint sound of thunder. Emilia opened her mouth as if speaking to herself again, staring at the clouds hanging over the ridge.

“… Why does it always rain heavily whenever I meet Young Master?”

Hadius looked up at the sky. Come to think of it, it had always been like that – it was clear, cloudy, bright, and dark. The colorful sky always reminded him of Emilia. Her dazzling sunlight that made her the most splendid will never be seen again. Hadius totally took it away, and yet Emilia was still beautiful. It was so terrifying that he couldn’t even breathe….

“The order is wrong.”

If she had been the past Emilia, she would look at him with wide eyes wondering what he was talking about, but she never did.

“It’s raining, so I was looking for you. I can’t stand it when it rains. I danced with you on a rainy day, and you knelt down in front of me on a rainy day. What a f***ing day it was. It drives me crazy.”

Emilia clutched the handrail tightly, trying not to redden. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop the rebellious fire that covered her ears.

The rain poured down lightly, as if ridiculing the man and woman as it descended in the darkness.

“That’s funny. If anyone hears you, they will think you’re confessing.”

“I am.”

What else would it be? Hadius stared at Emilia with such an intense gaze.

“No, don’t gild it like that.”

“That’s sad Emilia, but everything I shared with you is already wrapped so beautifully in my head. Want me to tell you something even worse?”

Her blue eyes turned toward him involuntarily. For the first time ever, the man and woman’s eyes met with an authentic eye contact.

“I am planning to wrap it as beautifully as many times as I can in the future – even now.”

The man’s hand reached out to her slowly. Emilia couldn’t escape – no, wasn’t she the one who didn’t avoid it? She did not know either. Everything had become a shambles.

“Nothing will change. I keep opening you up like this….”

The man’s fingers pressed firmly on her tightly closed lips, making them slightly open. A thin gasp escaped with a faint breath.

“I am going to ram you however I want.”

(T/N: vomits blood)

A long finger popped inside her mouth. Unlike his lewd and harsh words, it invaded her mouth gently and carefully. The little bit of rainwater and his clean, tasteless fingers exuded the man’s odor.

Emilia lost her will and left the man to continue his lustful acts. She was out of breath. A strange sensation, like a painful and tickling feeling, ran down her tongue and made her whole body excited. Emilia managed to twist her head and push the man away just before a moan escaped from her.

“I met a woman like me yesterday.”

“A woman like you?”

“A mistress – a woman who sells her body.”

Hadius responded with a cold, insignificant laugh. Still, his eyes were burning with fierce rage.

“How many times do I have to say it for you to understand? I want a mistress? If you really wanted to be my mistress, then you were already under me a long time ago.”

“No, in the end, that’s what Young Master wants – a mistress.”

Emilia bit her lips in denial as he pulled her chin. His finger stretched out and pulled her chipped lip. Then it became a little rougher.

“Alright, you can believe that if you want, because that’s what is safe for you. But Emilia, no man in the world will give a mistress a ring twice.”

Emilia’s heart lost its beat and thumped crazily. Her body didn’t stagger at all, but she felt like she was on a tightrope.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

The touch as light as the spring breeze suddenly changed, grabbing her white and thin neck roughly. A groan issued from Emilia’s mouth while her blood ran dry on the top of her head. She remembered the sadistic man clutching the kitten’s small body as if he was about to kill it. Emilia panted and continued to glare at him coldly.

“Why are you so cruel?”

“… Cruel? Me?!”

“Yes, you already knew what I wanted. Even the fact that I couldn’t make a promise, nor even bring it up.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! What the hell do you want?!”

The man’s eyes shook violently.

“Duchess Meyer, my wife. As you know.”

Lightning flashed in front of his eyes.

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