Married Thrice to Salted Fish

While waiting for his wedding, Lin Qingyu stayed in the Lin Residence, never going anywhere. He had others worrying about the many matters of his wedding. He spent every day reading books and accompanying his younger brother. In a blink of an eye, it was the eve of his wedding. 

That night, before Lin Qingyu had even slept for four hours, the matrons of honor, arranged by the General’s Mansion, arrived. Lin Qingyu still remembered that when he married Lu Wancheng, the Hou Mansion had also sent a pair of matrons. Perhaps he had been influenced by his emotions, the last time he saw a pair of matron, he found them simply repulsive. Though he knew that they were just doing as they were instructed to do, he still held a grudge; although, in the end, he didn’t seek revenge against them.

The matrons of honor who came this time were two dignified young women who waited upon him to wash and change clothes.

Lin Qingyu asked, “As I remember, a bride is asked to bathe before washing up and dressing?” After bathing, regardless whether it was a man or woman, ointment would be applied at a certain part so as to facilitate the consummation of marriage with their husband.

That matron smiled and said, “That is indeed the rule. But General Gu said that Doctor Lin may come however he feels comfortable.” 

Lin Qingyu laughed. “He is quite considerate.

Lin Qingyu still went to take a bath. Not for anything else, but to wash away the bad luck from the palace. Afterwards, the matrons dried his long hair and combed it smoothly. She asked, “Would Doctor Lin wish to wear a bridal crown?”

Lin Qingyu asked, “This decision is also up to me?”

“Yes, according to the General’s intentions, even if Imperial Physician Lin wished to wear his everyday clothes for the wedding, he would have no objections.”

How could he have no objections? If he truly were to not wearing his bridal dress to the wedding, that man would probably hang a smile on his face but would complain endlessly in his heart.

“Do me up as you would any other of your male brides.”

The matron looked carefully at Lin Qingyu’s face and said, “But what could I possibly do? No matter what I paint on Doctor Lin’s face, it would feel like drawing feet on a snake.”

Lin Qingyu said indifferently, “Do you want a reward for such a sweet mouth?” 

The matron covered her lips, smiled and said, “How could I dare? I speak but truthfully.” She opened the box and chose a piece of rouge paper. “Please, Doctor Lin, press this between your lips.”

Lin Qingyu hesitated for a moment. He took the rouge paper and pressed it between his lips. His pale lips were dyed a bright red.

The matron darkened his eyebrows and drew a huadian on his forehead. After doing so, the matron said with satisfaction, “Doctor Lin’s complexion is just right, fair and flawless. I don’t think there’s any need to apply powder.”

Even if his complexion hadn’t been good enough, he wouldn’t have agreed to having any applied. Gu Fuzhou could choose to look or not look. Lip rouge, darkening his brows and a huadian was the limit of what he could tolerate. 

The makeup was applied very quickly and they had to wait another hour before his hair was done. The matron put on a man’s special bridal crown for him. Two servants each held one side of his bridal dress and opened it wide. “Doctor Lin, please change your clothes.”

The matron wanted to help him up but Lin Qingyu said, “I’ll do it myself.”

Arms went into the red sleeves and the servants draped bridal dress over him. When the matron tied it around his waist, she couldn’t help sighing, “Doctor Lin’s waist is as slender as a woman’s.”

The other matron joked, “You’re wrong. Not every woman’s waist is as fine as that.” 

Finally, the matron covered him with the veil and his field of vision was reduced to a swath of red.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

This scene seemed familiar; it was the most humiliating memory of his life. At that time, he never could have imagined there would be a day when he would be willing to become someone’s wife. Even if he and Gu Fuzhou had no choice but to do this in order to avoid disaster, it was nonetheless incredibly unthinkable.

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Rba cfmfrrjglis. Dea tf ralii mtbrf ab wjggs Xe Mehtbe jujlc. 

After much tossing about, it was finally dawn. As soon as the auspicious time arrived, Lin Qingyu went to the main hall of the Lin Residence to say goodbye to his parents. Towards this matter of sending off their son to marry, Father Lin and Mother Lin were much more familiar with it now that they were doing ti for the second time. No matter how complicated their mood was, it was much better than last time. The two of them simply gave Lin Qingyu a few words of advice and the welcoming party arrived.

Most of the welcoming party were military officers and leading them was General Wu, who Gu Fuzhou had a good relationship with. A welcoming party filled with warrior was always bound to be lively. However, today, the men were each more refined than the other. They had been reminded by General Gu to restrain themselves in front of the great beauty; to be on their very best behavior as they escorted him to the bridal sedan.

This was bridal sedan meant to be carried by eight people. In the Dayu, only the first wife could enjoy this honor.

The Lin Residence’s son’s second marriage attracted many onlookers. General Gu’s fame had spread to every household. He got his first wife in his thirties and this wife happened to be a widow who has not yet been long into his widowhood. Truly, if one lives long enough, there is nothing one cannot see. 

“Ever since the Emperor bestowed a marriage between two men last year, people have been copying it left and rigth. My second uncle’s youngest son just married a male wife not long ago – Public morals are degenerating with each passing day!”

“What are these people doing? They refuse to marry a perfectly nice girl and instead take home a male wife. Whatever for? They can’t even bear children!

“If he were beautiful, even I would be willing to…”

“Beauty bring calamities. He has already brought a family to ruin. Now, he’s going to bring calamity to our army. Who know? Maybe someday, he might bring disaster for the country!” 

“Shh—you better shut your mouth if you want to keep your head!”

The bridal sedan was lifted up and step by step, it proceeded towards the General’s Mansion, leaving the gossiping crowd far behind. A vast and mighty entourage followed behind the bridal sedan, along with a procession of dowry stretching beyond what the eye could see.

The welcoming team circled around half the capital, finally stopping in front of the General’s Mansion. The ceremonial official pronounced loudly, “The bridal sedan—”

The bridal sedan’s curtains were lifted and Lin Qingyu was helped down the carriage and into the General’s Mansion. Immediately after crossing the threshold, a hand appeared beneath his veil. 

This hand was large and gentle, with thick calluses covering the finger pads. It was mottled and rough, easily recognizable as the hand of a martial artist.

When he placed his hand in the other’s, Lin Qingyu heard a familiar and pleasant voice, “Our Doctor Lin is actually wearing a bridal dress.”

Who else could be whispering to him at such a time?

Lin Qingyu knew it was against the rules, but he still replied, “And you don’t need a rooster to be your stand-in this time.” 

The whispering of the two was discovered by the matron of honor. She reminded them, “General, you can not talk to the madam at this time.”

Gu Fuzhou closed his mouth in a rare show of obedience. Lin Qingyu held hydrangeas in one hand and Gu Fuzhou’s hand with the other. The two entered the main hall together.

Gu Fuzhou has no parents, no relatives or elders. Sitting on the seat of honor was the old but vigorous Wu Guogong. When he received request to precede over the couple’s wedding ceremony, he grinned from ear to ear, repeatedly expressing his agreement.

After offering their respects to the Heavens, Lin Qingyu was sent to the bridal chamber first. Gu Fuzhou had to stay in the front hall to deal with the guests. As soon as the beauty left, the military officers shed all restraint and swarmed Gu Fuzhou. 

Gu Fuzhou’s celebration party lasted from dawn to dusk. He himself would rather have not but those military officers were really bothersome. Gu Fuzhou has never been the protagonist, urged by everyone to drink. But today, for the first time, he was faced with General Wu, who, once he’s had this fill, could make a complete nuisance of himself. He was made to drink until he couldn’t tell east from west or north from south. In the end, it was Wu Guogong who helped him out of the siege, saying that he they shouldn’t get him flat-out drunk lest he be unable to penetrate the chamber. This caused the group of men to burst into laughter.

Gu Fuzhou thought to himself, he could probably forget about any sort of penetration but he could probably make off with some advantages by using his drunkenness as an excuse. Maybe, he could touch his hair, or get the beauty to call him ‘husband’ or something.

On the way to the bridal chamber, Gu Fuzhou’s feet were unsteady. The closer he got to the bridal chamber, the more his steps felt like they were floating; until he felt like his entire person as floating away. Everything in front of him looked like they were from a dream.

He has married Lin Qingyu and brought him back home again. He himself had been the one to go through the ceremony with him. Later, he would lift Lin Qingyu’s veil and they would share a drink as husband and wife. 

What beautiful traditional culture! He just loves it so much.

Gu Fuzhou took a deep breath and placed his hands on the door with the word “Xi“. He stayed that way for a long time before gently pushing open the door.

Lin Qingyu heard movement and raised his head up from his book. “Welcome back.”

Gu Fuzhou was wearing robes the same color as his. He was stalwart and imposing, with sword-brows and starlit eyes. No matter from which angle, he appered to be a mature man. Only those eyes, when they looked at him, would faintly reveal a youthful spirit that others could not discern. 

The two looked at each other. Gu Fuzhou opened his mouth but no words came out. He backed out and closed the door again.

Lin Qingyu: “…?”

Before Lin Qingyu could figure out the situation, the door was pushed open again. Gu Fuzhou confirmed that he hadn’t seen wrong. He said, bewildered, “Where my red veil? Where’s my big red veil!”

“You mean the bridal veil?” Lin Qingyu looked at the table, “I placed it there.” 

Gu Fuzhou’s expression froze. He stared at Lin Qingyu’s face and said accusingly, “You’re not supposed to do it like that, right? Shouldn’t I be the one to remove the bridal veil?”

“Well, it was in the way.” While the husband was drinking happily outside, the wife could only sit waiting in the bridal chamber for most the day. Thinking, this wasn’t the first time they were getting married anyway and given how familiar he and Gu Fuzhou were with each other, they could just do away with many of the rituals. So, for the rest of the day, he read one of his books.

Gu Fuzhou faintly exuded resentment. “Admit that you were wrong. Admit it quickly and I won’t be angry.”

Lin Qingyu didn’t think there was anything wrong with him removing the bridal veil. But seeing Gu Fuzhou’s appearance as though he’d been struck by lightning, he added, “But I haven’t washed my face, nor have I undressed.” 

Lin Qingyu was a little peeved. He was wearing the bridal dress, with a huadian between his eyebrows and even a little rouge on his lips. No matter how unaccustomed he was to it, he didn’t wash it off. And yet, Gu Fuzhou still had it in him to criticize him.

Gu Fuzhou suddenly reacted and looked blankly at Lin Qingyu. He looked at huadian on his forehead, at his wandering eyes, at his red lips, at his bound slender waist – he looked at the beauty lovely enough to cause the downfall of a nation, wearing a wedding dress he personally selected. As he looked at him, a little bit of grievance still remained in his eyes, as if to say: Why did you only come now?

Behind Lin Qingyu, was hazy candlelight and the character ‘Xi’.

Tender as peach; shining splendidly. 

Gu Fuzhou blinked. “Ah, I seem to have been coaxed by you.”

Lin Qingyu raised his eyebrows: “So quickly?”

“I’m very good at coax-able.” Gu Fuzhou walked, staggering towards Lin Qingyu, “Unlike Doctor Lin, who’s super difficult to coax. It takes so long to coax each time…”

Lin Qingyu stepped forward to support him. Smelling the alcohol on him, he asked, “How much alcohol did you drink?” 

Gu Fuzhou buried his head in the crook of Lin Qingyu’s neck. “I didn’t want to drink either. They kept refilling me glass…”

Gu Fuzhou was too heavy for Lin Qingyu to support by himself and the two stumbled onto the bridal bed together. When Gu Fuzhou fell, it was though he got stuck on the bed, unable to get back up.

Lin Qingyu asked, “Who refilled your glass for you? Remember to refill theirs next time.”

Gu Fuzhou curled his fingers and counted them off one by one. Lin Qingyu said, “You keep counting. I’ll ask someone to cook some sobering soup for you.” 

When Lin Qingyu turned around, Gu Fuzhou, who was half-drunk, suddenly stretched out his hand and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, dragging him back. Lin Qingyu fell back onto the bed, into Gu Fuzhou’s arms.

“Qingyu.”

“Hm?”

“Laopo…” 

Why was it that on their wedding night…on their second wedding night, he was still calling him ‘old woman’?

Lin Qingyu, using his opponent’s own methods to obtain retribution, said, “Don’t shout, Laogong.”

Gu Fuzhou smiled and kept looking at him. He smiled so deeply that his eyes turned to starlit arches. When he had had enough of smiling, he made a “come here” gesture. Lin Qingyu leaned over, closer. Gu Fuzhou cupped his hand next his lips, as if to tell him a little secret, “I’ve turned bent…”

Lin Qingyu asked, “Bent where?” 

Gu Fuzhou was momentarily dumbfounded. He lay back down, covering his eyes with his arm and said aggrievedly, “You chief culprit! You don’t want to take responsibility but still want to f*cking be my closest friend. But there’s no way I can turn you bent without getting your consent…You’re going to infuriate me to death!”

Lin Qingyu seemed to only half-understand. “What exactly does ‘bent’ mean?”

Gu Fuzhou closed his eyes and said softly, “You’re my type and I want to go out with you.”

Lin Qingyu frowned. “Can’t you be more specific?” 

Gu Fuzhou: “…”

Lin Qingyu said again, “We haven’t drank our nuptial cup yet. Are you sure you want to sleep?”

Gu Fuzhou seemed to really have fallen asleep and the only response he got was the sound of gentle breathing.

The author has something to say: Regardless where this Salted Fish is from, he usually communicates in Mandarin, so he has no accent! 

But that doesn’t prevent him from speaking in his dialect.  He especially handsome when he sings in his dialect! ! ! (I don’t care, that just the way it is!)