Married to a Man who Wants to Kill me
Chapter 44
Lucia was a perfect daughter from a perfect family. From a very young age, she instinctively knew how special she was.
She had a father who everyone looked up to and a loving mother who would give anything she asked for. Her charming appearance, resembling her mother, evoked admiration from people.
They said that when Lucia grew up, she would make a name for herself in Asha with her dazzling beauty. And so Lucia grew up in the midst of everyone’s expectations and love.
In her eyes, the Duchy of Bledel was a kingdom, and she was a beautiful princess. There was only one thing she didn’t understand about her perfect life.
Her sister, Lethenia. At first, she didn’t understand why people treated her the way they did, or why her parents, who were so generous to her, hated her so much.
When she was very young, she didn’t think much about the existence of her sister who was treated worse than the dolls she played with in the ducal house. But as she grew older and gained the ability to discern right from wrong, questions arose.
Why was she hated? Her mother’s answer was simple.
“You are the most precious jewel in the world, and that wench is no better than a worm crawling on the ground. It was heaven’s decision to send her into the world like that. It’s like nobles and slaves. So, get rid of such unnecessary thoughts.”
“But, what about later, when my sister…”
“Enough. Lucia, I don’t want to hear about that anymore.”
Her mother’s irritated voice interrupted Lucia, who was still puzzled. She had clearly heard it when she was playing with dolls with the other noble children.
Her sister will be an empress one day. How could someone no better than a worm become an empress?
She was still full of questions, but no one answered them properly. Her father was no different.
Whenever she mentioned her sister, his eyes would turn cold.
Her heart thudded in her chest as she realized that she wasn’t looking at her usual loving father, but an evil man who would do bad things without hesitation.
Talking about her sister Lethenia was taboo in the ducal household. Her mother had told her never to talk about her.
She frightened her that if she didn’t, everyone would get in trouble, and maybe her father would disown them.
“Lucia, no matter what happens, you can’t talk about Lethenia, ever. Do you understand? This is for all of our sakes.”
Lucia nodded reluctantly at her mother’s stern tone. Little Lucia thought that the moment she put her sister’s name in her mouth, she might get a curse that would never be lifted.
The only time she could see her sister was on the rare occasions when Lethenia had to accompany her father to the palace and on those occasions her sister was dressed like a noble lady.
When she watched her secretly, her face always seemed to be in a state of distress. She was like a doll, unable to feel anything.
Alive, but as if she were dead. Lucia felt this strange sensation every time she saw her sister.
From a distance, she watched her sister climb into the carriage. Even though she walked up the steps on her own, it seemed as if she was being dragged.
Everyone treated her like she wasn’t there, but Lucia kept wondering about the third-floor attic where her sister was.
It was the farthest away from her room. Her sister’s space was completely separate from her own.
No one visited it except for the occasional maid or physician.
Sometimes she saw her father come upstairs, but the look in his eyes was too cold for her to speak. Even her mother, who gritted her against Lethenia, insisted that she never go upstairs.
Not only her father and mother, but everyone in the ducal household seemed to think of her sister as if she were a plague.
Nevertheless, Lucia’s curiosity grew stronger by the day.
One day, both her sister and her parents left the manor. As Lucia had planned, she slipped past her nanny and headed for the attic. Could there be something amazing in her sister’s attic that she doesn’t know about?
With a mixture of curiosity and excitement, she slowly climbed the stairs. When she finally opened the door, Lucia was overwhelmed with an indescribable shock.
It was cramped and dirty, worse than a maid’s room. It was dusty, damp, and dreary.
It was so different from her own room, which was always clean and smelled nice. What does she do in a place like this all day?
Lucia looked around in disbelief and noticed old books scattered around. Politics, philosophy, and history…… were filled with words too difficult for her to understand.
Many of them were written in foreign languages she couldn’t read. All of them were boring.
The leather covers were worn and the pages were yellowed with handprints.
‘Has she been reading the same thing over and over again…….’
Among the worn out books, she saw a notebook spread out, with several ordinary-looking flowers drawn on it.
Upon closer inspection, she realized it was a Favia. A white flower that blooms randomly everywhere in the garden. One day, the Duchy gardener told her about them.
He described Favia as resilient and brave flowers that grew well on their own without needing much care. Almost unconsciously, Lucia turned her head to look out the window.
The window was small, just enough to stick her face out. And framed on the windowsill was a beautiful white peony in full bloom.
On impulse, Lucia ran out into the garden and plucked a few favia. Then she ran back to her room.
She grabbed some of the most interesting books she had ever read and went back up to the attic. She could hear her nanny calling for her, getting louder and louder.
Lucia carefully placed her things on the nightstand and left the room. Before closing the door, she took another look at her sister’s room.
It was a strangely lonely space.
* * *
A few more years passed before Lucia was old enough to understand a little of the adult world. She still had questions about her sister, but she knew that if she poked around any further, she would really lose her father’s favor.
He was still a loving father to her, but at the same time, he was terrifying. The flash of anger in his eyes whenever she headed towards her sister’s room remained etched in her memory.
Her mother dragged her to the basement one day when she tried to sneak up to the attic and showed her people being brutally tortured to death.
Faces disfigured beyond recognition. The fishy smell of blood. Agonizing groans. They were all being punished for going against her father’s will.
Lucia felt sick to her stomach at the horrific sight.
<You must never go against your father, dear, he loves us now, but we don’t know when we’ll be cast aside.>
Her mother urged her with desperation in her eyes. She also told her that she had worked hard to earn her father’s favor.
Lucia realized that the parents she had always been so proud of lived behind a mask that no one else could see, and that, as her mother said, she had to learn to be discerning about what she could and couldn’t say if she didn’t want to offend her father.
From then on, Lucia never asked her mother any questions. Then her sister left the ducal residence. She had indeed become an empress.
Her mother was very displeased with the fact.
“Well, it won’t last long.”
She wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but she knew she’d be happier in the palace than she was now.
The royal wedding was held in grand style, as if to show off the power of the Bledel family. Her sister, dressed in a white gown like a favia, walked down the long red carpet. Lucia thought for a moment that she was more beautiful than her mother.
However, the expression of the bride taking her wedding vows was dark. The emperor, who would be her husband, seemed no different.
She’d heard they’d liked each other for a long time, so why didn’t they seem happy?
“The Emperor dislikes the Empress so much that he doesn’t even want to be around her.”
Such outrageous rumors circulated among the nobility. This was especially true among the women, who loved to gossip, and it was no different at her mother’s social gatherings.
The ladies gathered in the ducal parlor gossiped unrestrainedly about the emperor and empress, and her mother could only smile, neither denying nor confirming.
The daughters who followed them were no different.
“She looks like a ghost and is so arrogant that she doesn’t deserve the emperor’s favor. Even if I were a man, I wouldn’t want such a woman.”
The noble young ladies who came to visit the ducal residence found a place in the garden and engaged in trivial conversations. Then, when Lucia briefly left her seat, they started gossiping about the empress.
By chance, Lucia overheard their words and found herself unconsciously biting her lips. It was amazing how they were talking foolishly in the same way as their mothers.
Lucia walked over to the young lady who had just spoken impurely about the Empress.
“Haley Watson. Your family was originally an insignificant merchant family from a small country called Kukos, a country that no longer exists, until your grandfather, a kukosian betrayed his homeland and sold weapons to Asha, gaining the emperor’s trust. That’s how he obtained a lavish title.”
“Lu, Lucia, what are you talking about……!”
“This will be the last time you set foot in the ducal residence, for I am about to tell my father that you have defiled my ears. If anyone speaks ill of the Empress in the future, I will make them pay in Bledel’s name.”
The nobles, who had been giggling and chattering a moment ago, swallowed hard and glared at Lucia.
Lucia walked away, not wanting to have anything to do with these pathetic children. If it weren’t for her mother, she would never have come to such an unpleasant place.
Her next stop was the attic on the third floor. A lonely space, now empty and deserted.
The favia still bloomed picturesquely outside the window.
It was there that Lucia thought of the Empress’s upcoming birthday banquet.
She stared out the window, lost in her thoughts. Her sister’s birthday, the one thing no one had ever talked about even when she was in the ducal residence.
She wondered if there was favia outside the window of the Empress’ palace. They say that fans made of carved ivory are in fashion these days.
She wondered if she’d like it if she painted a picture of a favia on it.
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