Marvel: This Magneto is a good guy

A man in a red uniform suddenly jumped onto the plane's glass. He had two knives stuck in his back, a pistol on his leg, and a round pocket on his waist. He tapped the plane's glass quickly and looked back from time to time.

"Deadpool?" Coulson knew Deadpool, and after a moment's hesitation, he opened the cabin door and let him in.

"Oh, thank you, you are really my benefactor! When I get rich, I will definitely buy you lottery tickets!" Deadpool jumped into the plane and sat on the ground, "You'd better close the door, a group of savages are chasing me."

"Savages? Don't worry, as long as they are not damn dinosaurs!" A sturdy black man was bandaging a wound, which looked like it was scratched by a dinosaur's teeth, "Our plane is enough to resist a brigade of savages!"

"Mike, come here!" Coulson shouted anxiously in front of the screen, "A division of savages is coming!"

Mike: "?!"

Deadpool stretched out his hands, pointed his two index fingers at his face, and sold a cute look to Mike.

A division of savages may sound a bit exaggerated, but in fact, their number is more than enough!

The savages simply wore leaves and clothes, holding simple wooden spears and stone pestles in their hands, and surrounded the SHIELD plane in a mighty force, shouting slogans that were incomprehensible, and their bodies also danced rhythmically with the slogans, shaking the SHIELD plane.

"Damn it, what the hell did you do?" Mike picked up the shotgun and pointed it at Deadpool in frustration.

Deadpool made an innocent gesture, then quickly raised his hands above his head, "I just saved me! Oh, no, it was me who kidnapped me. They regarded me as a god, but I was my target. You don't know that someone is willing to pay five million dollars and Francis' whereabouts to buy my head! This deal is too cost-effective! If I had known that they wanted my head, I would have cut off my head and given it to them! Hey, if you cut off my head, will two Deadpools grow? Then I can keep selling my head?"

"What a mess!" Mike hit Deadpool's head hard with the butt of the gun. He knew that Deadpool would not die, and this was just to vent his anger.

"Hey, man! Don't break my goods!" Deadpool touched his head, "How is your treatment here? Want to change jobs? I want to recruit a few salesmen, with basic salary and commission. How about selling my head?"

"Mike, shut him up!" Coulson shouted and ordered all the planes to take off.

Mike got the boss's order and tied up Deadpool in no time. He also stuffed his mouth with Deadpool's hood, so that Deadpool could only make a "woohoo" sound.

"What is this?" Mike untied the pocket on Deadpool's waist, put it on the table, and quickly opened it, "Oh, God!"

Mike was scared by the things inside and almost threw the pocket out. Coulson turned his head and saw it, and his face changed immediately, "Quick! Isolate! Disinfect! This should be the virus they are looking for!"

"Woo woo..." Deadpool's mouth was stuffed with something. The only thing he could move was his eyes. He first looked at Mike and Coulson with greedy eyes, and then looked at Deadpool. On his haggard face, a smile immediately appeared, "Woo woo woo!"

"What does he want to say? Damn, is this thing alive?" Coulson and Mike took another step back, their eyes full of fear.

The medical team on the plane quickly locked the dead head Deadpool into the isolation cabin, carefully pulled out the stuffing in his mouth with a mechanical hand, and spread it out to find that it was also a red headgear, almost exactly the same as Deadpool's.

"Ha ha ha!" Dead head Deadpool laughed unpleasantly, "You have come to this day, let you block my mouth! Bah bah bah! This headgear is really too smelly, I haven't washed it for decades, damn, why does it smell like preserved eggs?"

"Who are you?" Coulson stood in front of the isolation cabin, looking up and down at Dead head Deadpool, and found that this head was really a bit like Deadpool's.

"I am your uncle Deadpool! Fresh flesh and blood, oh, so delicious, come in and let me take a bite, wait, where is my tooth? Damn, did I knock my tooth out? God, my last tooth! You don't know how much I love it! I give it a comprehensive cleaning every two months, um, maybe three months, no, maybe four months..."

"Coulson, let's block his mouth." Mike rubbed his forehead and felt a headache.

Coulson couldn't stand it, but he rejected Mike's proposal, "He may know the intelligence here, Mike, he is handed over to you, you have sworn to give everything for the safety of the world, it's time!"

Coulson patted Mike's shoulder earnestly, as if you have a long way to go.

Mike looked confused and desperate, "Are you sure you're not seeking revenge? Just because I scratched your car last time?"

"Did you scratch Laura?" Coulson's eyes changed, "Mike, this head is very dangerous, you must watch him 24 hours a day! Don't let him have an accident!"

Mike wanted to slap himself twice, looking at Coulson who was walking away, "You're a pervert who names cars!"

...

Coulson returned to the cockpit and looked down, "What's the situation?"

"Very bad, they don't seem to be leaving, sir, should we use machine guns?" The pilot asked tentatively.

Colson shook his head, "They are not a threat. We have no right to massacre them. Can you be so cruel as to shoot them? They look almost exactly like us!"

"Well, I just wanted to use the machine gun as a threat." The pilot shrank his head, "Besides, they don't look like they are not threatening."

"Can they still use sticks and stones to masturbate?"

As soon as Colson finished speaking, the plane shook. He became unstable and fell over, "What's going on?"

"Those savages, they were using sticks and rocks to jerk off the plane..." The pilot glanced sideways at Coulson and almost couldn't hold back his laughter.

Colson: "..."

…

Eric kept flying straight towards Deadpool, but Deadpool was too jumpy and ran around like a headless fly. He ran all over the four directions, so Eric had to constantly adjust his flight direction. .

After flying for a long time, Deadpool's position was finally fixed, and Eric hurriedly arrived, just in time to see an epic and spectacular sight.

A division of savages is masturbating!

Ahem, he was really masturbating and smashing S.H.I.E.L.D.’s plane with wooden spears and rocks!