Maybe I can't have normal youth

Chapter 96

When Zhao Baian woke up from her dream, she really regretted it.

Why did she obviously avoid all this, but didn't help Xiao Huanghan to stay away from all this suffering?This is an unspeakable suffering, and she feels very sad in her heart.

But this is actually only Zhao Baian's wishful thinking. After all, people cannot come back from death, and dreams cannot interfere with reality. In fact, she knew very well in her heart that she could not change the facts.Perhaps no matter when it was Zhao Bai'an pulling Xiao Huanghan over, whether it was letting her play ball, or struggling to walk over, her mother should die in front of her like this.

Because this is the reality.

But... It's really sad.

But it was through this incident that Zhao Baian finally understood why Huang Han would always come to the agreed place early, and understood why Huang Han would like to make some plans so much earlier.

Sure enough, things happen. This is not a habit that Huang Han cultivated since childhood, but Huang Han's atonement for his dead mother.Right is not a self-atonement for your own fault.

The only thing that made Zhao Baian happy was that Huang Han continued the habit of love to read.

It's just...In addition to this point, Huang Han's personality is really much worse than when he was a child.How exactly did she, who had been so lively and naughty, become as quiet as she is now?Perhaps without this incident, Huang Han's personality would be like that of Yang Zichen or Yang Liu Yiyi.

It didn't take long for the window outside to light up at this time. It was a very long dream. Zhao Baian spent the whole night with her friend.Maybe she can do more things besides these, but obviously she hasn't done it, she hasn't been able to do anything except stay with Xiao Huanghan.

"If I could help her do more..." Thinking like this, Zhao Baian fell into deep thought, but it's a pity that even she in reality can't think of a good way.Maybe she can accompany Huang Han more in her future life.

It's a pity that everything in the dream is already in the past. Although Zhao Baian can see Huang Han's past experience, he can never share the harm she suffered at that time.The pain of losing his mother is really intolerable. What's more, did Huang Han see his mother die in front of him with his own eyes?

Zhao Baian really can't imagine the days Huang Han has spent over the years. How many sleepless nights has she had?How many heartbreak moments has she had?How much effort did she take to restore her current calm and indifferent?Or is her heart still aching?

Zhao Bai'an couldn't express the pain in Huang Han's heart bluntly. After all, she was different from the kind of possessive dream. In such a dream, she was just a bystander.

But she can be sure that Huang Han's mother's death was definitely not caused by Xiao Huanghan.Judging from Huang Han's performance, she must have felt that all this was caused by her procrastination at the time, so she would want to imply that she would not make the same mistake again in this way.

However, in Zhao Baian's view, there must be more than one thread behind all tragedies. Everything is like a butterfly effect. You don't know when there is a source.If you have to blame it, the car owner should be the one who wears the "culprit" hat.

Although Zhao Baian was very sorry for the occurrence of this incident, she was also well aware of her lack of ability.

She still hasn't thought about how to face Huang Han in real life in the future. She doesn't know whether she should ask about this past.

But after all, every sorrowful past should actually be something that everyone does not want to mention.

In fact, who is happy all the time?Everyone has more or less sad experiences, it's just the difference between saying and not saying.Thinking of this, Zhao Baian couldn't help showing a wry smile.

No one can really change the world, just like no one can save the world.

Many of us live in this world just to coexist with this world. Most of us change ourselves for the world. How can we change the world ourselves?

Thinking of this, Zhao Baian can't help but think of the sisters Siqing and Sili again. Although Zhao Baian can help Yang Zichen realize that it is not her good friend who left this world, Zhao Baian has no way to change the choice Siqing made.

It was Siqing's own choice to live in this world instead of her sister, and no one could stop her anymore.Perhaps the only thing that can make her change is her younger sister Si Li, who has already left this world, but it is really because she has left this world that she has such a choice.

Become a dead knot.

In fact, Huang Han is also like this. It is precisely because of her mother's death that Huang Han's temperament becomes like this.But Zhao Baian was very grateful. The appearance of Huang Han's father holding her in his arms in his dream is still vivid. It is a father who wants to comfort his young daughter with silent words.

Some people say that we should be grateful for the pain, for it allows us to grow.Zhao Bai'an only felt that this was all nonsense.

Why thank the pain?We will grow without pain.Why thank the pain?It will only bring us scars.

The healing of scars is our own strength, and should not be mistaken for the gift of pain.

And Zhao Baian really admired Huang Han's strength.This is her own quality and has nothing to do with pain.

Because everyone in the drama club had to go to the venue for rehearsals, Zhao Baian did not have too much time to continue thinking or blame himself.

She simply cleaned herself in the dormitory, and went to the rehearsal venue of the drama club alone as she did before.

The campus at this time is basically empty, after all, it is still too early.Looking at everything that was empty around him, Zhao Baian couldn't help but think of the noisy scenes in his previous dream again.

Beijing’s street people come and go, and the bustling city always gives people a special attraction.Although for her, there is more of the sound of the bright red blood colliding with the vehicle.

Perhaps Huang Han really chose to come here to stay away from the sad memories of the past.

In fact, Zhao Baian didn't know what Huang Han thought, she thought this was a past that shouldn't be mentioned after all.Before, Yang Zichen's past was because she didn't know it, but now that this incident is an ancient scar for Huang Han, Zhao Baian will naturally bury it for her.

Thank you for your reading and support~

(End of this chapter)