MMO: Pierce Heaven Til' It Breaks

“Feng-your motherf*cking-xi! What’s up with you pretending to be Fengxi?”

“Yeah yeah yeah, call me whatever you want as long as you stop chiding me but… Can you stop calling me Lil B? It’s such a horrendous name.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you have a B in your name.”

“You can’t just call me that just because there’s a B. You’re a lady, wash your dirty mouth, people find it distasteful.”

“Distasteful or not, I don’t motherf*ckin’ care. Are you going to listen or not? Scram if you’re not!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, just say whatever’s on your mind, I’ll listen.”

“Recently I bought a mini skirt that went up to my c*nt… Blah blah blah, out of topic. I meant to say, did you see that little b*tch Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut getting the reward?”

“Let me cut you off there, She’s Purple, not little b*tch.”

“Purple, your money boy’s ass.”

“Sigh, manners, watch…”

“Manners your money boy’s ass!”

“Ca—”

“Ca your money boy’s ass!”

The Cat that Sings was infuriated by the mention of Purple. No matter what the supposed Fengxi said, he was rebuked with the word, money boy.

In the end, the supposed Fengxi dared not say a word.

The Cat that Sings was further angered, “Why isn’t your money boy’s ass talking?”

“I don’t dare to say anything. You start screaming at me when I start talking.”

“F*ck, what a sissy. Listen here, you left mid-battle last time, did you motherf*ckin’ see that c*nt?

“No, I didn’t. How could I? I didn’t see Purple. I was disconnected. Okay, I disconnected…”

“Purple your money boy’s ass!”

“I…”

“I your money boy’s ass!”

“F*ck!”

“F*ck your money boy’s ass!”

“Lil B, you listen to me, kill Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut 100 times in three days or I’ll curse you to kingdom come!”

“Yes… I’m listening,” The supposedly Fengxi was in tears.

Riding her Crimson Emperor Warhorse towards the Cat that Sings, Jiaojiao smiled, “Cat, who were you cursing at just now? What’s with the temper?”

Having been ambushed by the Legendary Tribe, the Cat that Sings was pissed out of her mind, and together with Jiaojiao went to blast the Legendary Tribe’s major city all the way in the Western Continent before returning to camp.

“I’m chiding Fengxi who’s not called Fengxi but motherf*ckin’ pretends to be Fengxi.”

“Huh?”

Jiaojiao was shocked.

…

Li Yi raised his hand to voice his opinion, “I suggest that Qian’er open the chest.”

Blinking his wide eyes, Wang Wang Dumplings asked, “Guild Master, why do you always suggest Qian’er?”

“She’s my mistress, happy now?”

“Oh…” The crowd responded in unison.

“I’m not,” Ouyang Qian was blushing down to the neck, a stark contrast from her originally fair skin.

Sensing the atmosphere turning awkward, Li Yi added, “She has better luck. Let her try if you don’t believe me. Of course, if you disagree, I will respect your opinion.”

“Guild Master has spoken and even if we disagree, we have to agree.”

“I agree!”

“Ditto!”

“No comment. Anyone can loot. If Guild Master’s mistress wants to, why not?”

The public ridicule almost caused Ouyang Qian to run amok.

“Whatever, I’ll open it. You guys can think whatever you want. To a certain somebody, don’t be so full of yourself. I’ll let you have a taste of your own medicine tonight!”

The first half was directed at the party while the second half was sent as a private message to Li Yi.

“Tonight, you say…” Li Yi’s eyes lit up.

Mischief was written all over Ouyang Qian’s eyes, “I’m gonna rape Lil Jiao.”

“Oh, do as you please,” Li Yi’s mind was put to rest at the comment.

Ouyang Qian stomped angrily towards the huge treasure chest and extended her arm to lift the top up…

Ding!

A Virtual Inventory Pane appeared, showcasing from top to bottom, twenty-five items.

They were neither apparel nor accessories, leaving only one type available — weapons of various classes. Each of them a Level 100 Purple Quality Epic-level weapon.

“Blade of Culling’s main and sub-weapon! A Thief’s graduating equipment!”

“Orlando’s Holy Light Scepter, increases 30% healing abilities, OMG…”

“Bloody Berserk Blade, 20% chance of bleeding. Once the target starts bleeding, ATK is doubled. This is an exquisite item for ranged classes…”

Reading the descriptions of all twenty-five exquisite weapons, everyone’s jaw dropped…

Shangguan Bailu’s eyes were dazzled by the brilliance, “Guild Master, how do we split…”

Li Yi took a look around and answered, “GDPK.”

“All hail Guild Master!”

“Guild Master, I love you…”

The crowd started roaring with cheers. There were people who would end up with nothing with rolling but with GDPK, everyone would go home with money. Who would not be happy in this win-win situation?

Moreover, there was a mad man in the party — Brother Windcloud Nine.

Li Yi had just suggested GDPK when someone went to poke at Brother Windcloud Nine, “Brother Nine, remember to buy a few.”

“Why?”

“Even if you can’t use them, your wife would need them, right? If your wife has no use for them, the brothers in the guild would need them, right? If the brothers in the guild have no use for them, they might be useful for the future, right?”

Brother Windcloud Nine nodded, seemingly convinced by the logic, “That’s right…”

The equipment auction began.

Shangguan Bailu picked up the first auction piece. It was Orlando’s Holy Light Scepter for Light Priests.

“At the opening price of 1 Gold Coin, let’s begin.”

“2!”

“100!”

“1,000!”

“3,000!”

After a round of bids, the scepter was finally sold at the price of 3,000 Gold Coins, to God Creator’s Nirvana Inaction.

“Next, we have Sky Vagabond’s piccolo, at the opening price of 1 Gold Coin…”

Shangguan Bailu’s auction stirred a mild reaction. She did not know how to bluff nor was she good at bid calling. She merely handed out the equipment.

Confused Fox sighed, if only Royal Blue Sky were here, he’d start with at least 1 million Gold Coins.”

Li Yi had his own opinion, “Well you know women, they tend to be soft.”

As the weapons were auctioned off one after another, the auction came to a screeching halt when there were ten items left.

The Priest’s scepter and Sky Vagabond’s piccolo were sold off at a low price due to the limited players with such classes. Naturally, the price would be higher for popular classes such as Warrior and Wizard that had a large population.

“Bloody Berserk Blade, for the opening price of 50 thousand Gold Coins.”

No bids were called for long.

“Blade of Culling’s main and sub-weapon, for the opening price of 50 thousand Gold Coins. It’s rare to find a pair!”

Still, no bids.

Shangguan Bailu was feeling awkward from the lack of reaction and turned to Li Yi.

These prices were considered dirt cheap. In other words, it was easy money to buy the item for this price and then sell it at an Auction House.

No bids were called presumably because they were afraid someone would drive up the price.

Of course, most importantly, the biggest equipment-buying client, Brother Windcloud Nine had not even bid once.

Confused Fox asked, “Brother Nine, why aren’t you bidding?”

Brother Windcloud Nine curled his lips, “I’m not interested, my Judgment’s way better.”

While the equipment was good, compared to Brother Windcloud Nine’s Blazing Judgment, they were still lacking.

Blazing Judgment was impressive because of its ability to shoot flames during normal attacks. It was capable of causing high damage and had a range of 20 yards, a main tank equipped with it could increase their DPS by a large margin.

There was no way the auction could go on.

Li Yi thought for a moment before replying, “Why don’t we do this? Commander Shangguan, take these weapons to the Auction House and sell them all. Total up the earnings and distribute if equally to everyone.”

“Me? Take them? I…”

Li Yi smiled, “Yes you, I trust you.”

“Thank you,” Shangguan Bailu was touched when she heard his words.

From behind, Ouyang Qian poked Li Yi with her scepter, “Hey, picking up chicks again?”

“I only want to pick you up. I’m not interested in anyone else.”

“Bah!”

After the auction was over, the party members quit the dungeon and returned to the Invincible Continent.

On the other hand, the Fluttering Snow Alliance and Legendary Tribe kept going at it until the dungeon reset but were unable to clear the Soul Gate. Li Yi’s party was the only one that made it!

…

With both Light and Darkness dungeon and Hell-mode Soul Gate’s first kills taken, it marked the end of this dungeon series. Surprisingly, Pantheon officials did not announce any new content. There was not even a leak of what was to come, whether it was the highly anticipated level release, new group dungeons, new play, etc.

At present, only the annual Arena Brawl Tournament seemed to mildly pique players’ interest.

The Invincible Continent’s fourth seasonal champion was picked. Beating both Fang Jie and Pale Blue Elegance, the dark horse, Fengxi secured the win.

Currently, there were seventeen days before the season finals.

Right under everyone’s nose, Li Yi secretly made a big move. Not only had he sold off the equipment he collected over the years, he even put up the equipment on his body up for auction.

Ring of Windstorms, Pierced Bone Necklace, Undead’s Necklace of Natural Disaster, Brainwashing Helm, even the Trickery Ring, were all secretly auctioned off. He only kept three items.

The Orange Quality Bow that could not be traded off, a Divine Looking Glass tool, a Purple Broadsword, and a few Sacramental Stone Fragments. Excluding these, he purged his inventory of good equipment. In the end, he was left with 4 Tier 2 Equipment Sets and a few worthless Purple Quality items.

Ring of Windstorms, Undead’s Necklace of Natural Disaster, Brainwashing Helm…

These items were all rare finds, yet Li Yi did not hesitate to sell them off.

His character’s attributes went down the drain, reducing his originally 20 thousand+ HP down to 15 thousand.

No one knew of Li Yi’s actions but when his exquisite equipment ended up in the hands of other players, rumors started to spread.

“Aren’t these items Dark Wing’s? What’s going on? Was he killed and dropped…”

“Dark Wing was killed! F*ck me, a major drop! Nine pieces in one go and all looted by someone.”

“Dark Wing went solo against someone and dropped nine items!”

“It’s said that the person who killed Dark Wing until he dropped nine items was Scumbag Wang!”

Rumors spread like wildfire all over the land, growing more bizarre. When Li Yi caught word of these rumors, he was rendered speechless.

“Guild Master, was your equipment really looted by Scumbag Wang…”

“That’s right, looted by Scumbag Wang.”

Li Yi’s sarcastic reply resulted in a top post on the Pantheon forum, “Straight from the horse’s mouth — Dark Wing reveals the truth behind the nine-equipment drop!”

The post described vividly how Li Yi challenged Scumbag Wang to a one-on-one battle but was caught off guard and instantly killed by Scumbag Wang’s Frantic Combo 1. Li Yi read the whole post and was at a loss of words.

“Truth, your sister’s friggin’ ass!

“Make up bullshit. Say whatever, you guys will never it…”

Watching the rumors spread, Li Yi smiled as he counted his money, awaiting the arrival of the Annual Brawl Tournament…

…