MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

Bubblegum hurriedly covered Jack's eyes with the cloth. What was he even trying to do?! 

"Oh, this sure is effective. The world isn't spinning in front of my eyes anymore." He commented, satisfied. 

"Of course, it isn't if you can't see it!" She retorted. 

"I mean, my sense of balance could also be fucked up. Luckily it seems these drugs don't have much effect." Jack nonchalantly commented. 

But that's when the first attackers arrived! They charged at them with sticks or low-level weapons. In their eyes, there was incredible greed— not that Jack could see it. 

They began swinging at him, resolved to make him pay for his cockiness! How freaking arrogant! He had dared to party right in the open like that! He even had dared to get drunk and high! 

What had started as a job for the Credits soon became personal. They were giving free rein to their anger and their fear alike. They had survived the flames, and they'd make the man pay for scaring them! 

"Take that, you bastard!" 

"We'll crush you into tomato paste!" 

"Let's see how your face looks split open!" 

The attackers shouted powerfully and confidently. But this confidence wouldn't last long as Jack expertly moved along the battlefield. 

— Block! —

— Miss! — 

— Block! —

— Parry! — 

— Miss! — 

— Block! — 

They felt as if they were trying to hit a phantom at times, a master swordsman at others, and a goddamn wall whenever he blocked. How was he freaking doing that?!

"Why can't we fucking hit him?!"

"He's so goddamn slippery!" 

"He's still alive?!" 

But then they noticed something that enraged them even more. Not only was he blindfolded, but he was even bringing along a pretty pink-haired girl! She was glued to him, her slender arms wrapped around his neck. 

"Even with a handicap, we can't do anything?!" 

"What the fuck?! This is unreal!" 

"Is he still freaking human?!" 

"He's a true Demon King!" 

They felt even worse when they saw how she was gently blushing, painting a beautiful and heroic scene. They couldn't help but shout: 

"You fucker! This isn't the time for a date!" 

"We're trying to kill you right now!" 

"He's just waltzing in our midst!" 

"Die! Just die already! Please!"

"This isn't fucking working!"

The poor attackers were losing their minds. It didn't help that Jack was starting to have fun, uttering a ton of bullshit: 

"One could say that I am a daredevil!" 

"Call me Sinner Lee, the Blind Monk!" 

"But…Are you guys even trying to hit me? 

"I don't even need to use Earth bending here!" 

They were about to go insane! They redoubled their efforts to kill him, but the angrier they got and the louder they were too. Jack's ears kept twitching as he used their heavy breathing to locate them. 

But suddenly, one seemed to realize the issue. 

"Guys, don't make any noise!" 

"He's right! Stay completely silent!" 

They all quieted down as they held their breath and began to move very carefully. The intense combat had suddenly slowed down to an unbelievably slow crawl.

There was only Moon Moon running in the background, completely confused as it saw mirages from the weed and pills. 

They inched closer, with Jack not noticing them; he wasn't omniscient. They smiled radiantly as their plan was a success! He was now frozen in place, looking so damn perplexed!

But that's when a crystalline and beautiful voice echoed softly, saving him: 

"23 degrees to your left, 1.74 meters, there is an enemy." Bubblegum's voice broke the silence. 

"Hehe, gotcha!" The demon grinned. 

Jack then began his counterattack! He charged straight at the player's position, swinging his sharp Cluckinator! He took a bit of damage but also instantly killed the man. 

If they moved quickly, they made enough noise to be detected! If they barely moved, she told him their position, and he'd counterattack! Were they fucked either way?! But that's when a genius had a brilliant idea. 

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!" He shouted powerfully, almost breaking his lungs in the process. "You guys fucking charge!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" 

Detect the enemies by the sound they made? There was only that omnipresent shout resounding, so Bubblegum had to help! She had to describe the battlefield for him! This new strategy was overworking her so much!

Luckily Bubblegum had been a pro-player in another life….and so had Jack! By working together, they were freaking surviving even now! 

"Keep fighting! He's taking damage!" 

"At this rate, we'll win! Keep going!" 

"Victory is upon us! Fight!" 

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" 

But just as they were expecting victory, they saw the woman grab a red potion from her inventory and gently feed it to the Demon King. He was even giving them a taunting smile as he drank! 

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" 

"This is fucking unfair!" 

"Keep attacking! She'll run out of potion at some point!" 

"A cute girl feeding him?! So decadent! I'm totally not jealous!" 

But even if their spirit were willing, their bodies would soon fail them. The screaming guy suddenly stopped screaming. The blade abruptly piercing his lungs made it hard for him to keep shouting. That's when the attackers turned pale. 

Right behind them were so many fucking members of Demonic Legion. They were so damn drunk, but they were also very numerous. They had stumbled their way over to help the best they could, akin to zombies. 

They began a killing spree. The invaders didn't stand a chance: they were stuck between the Demon King and his legion. As more and more of them kept dying, the little sanity they still had left them. 

What was the point to even fight? They were doomed anyway! They just stood still, shaking like leaves and awaiting death. 

Screw this goddamn Demon King! 

Screw his Demonic Legion! 

Screw New Leaf village! 

Screw them all! 

But then they realized that the D.L members were looking at them with very peculiar gazes. Why did they seem like they were looking at loot? Why were they licking their lips? What was up with the butcher knives? 

Blood-curdling screams resounded as the poor guys were butchered alive. In normal circumstances, it wasn't pretty, and it was even less with drunk wannabe butchers! It was a bloodbath! 

This was next-level torture!— Also a VERY memorable experience....