MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

"HUMPH!!!" The muffled lamentations of the players were music to his ears. 

Jack was lazing upon what looked like a beach chair, enjoying the show with plenty of snacks. Pumpkin Girl focused on the spell, at his side and resting in his arms. 

He chuckled as he saw the hate in the players' eyes. Attacking the farm and even threatening them? Bitch, please! He wasn't one to simply bow in the face of intimidation. 

They could barely move a muscle, their entire bodies wrapped in vines. Still, they had sent plenty of SOS messages and were obviously waiting for reinforcements…but so what?! 

After the initial fight, that one Scammer guy had shown up. The mad lad had a glint in his eyes as he proudly bragged about convincing them all to go naked. This was one for the books, haha! 

In any case, Jack had sent him on a special mission… 

"HUMPH!!!" They kept complaining. Geez, they sure were demanding!

"Moon Moon, those guys in the back are causing trouble. Make sure you water them some more." 

"Woo!" (On it!) 

Their eyes would bulge in disgust and horror, but it wouldn't save them from the warm stream. 

He wasn't too worried either. He had just finished cleaning up the farmhouse, getting rid of any trace of a ritual. The mage's word would take care of the rest! 

It barely took their enemies an hour to organize an army. 

Payers as far as the eye could see, not only from the three factions but others too. As soon as they appeared, the captives instantly relaxed, a victorious glint in their eyes. 

Was this already over? What were they gonna do, charge in? 

The heroes were looking at the vines, gulping loudly. Level 30?! How the heck were they supposed to go against that?! A single one was as strong as a Boss, and there were countless! 

But they soon figured out a battle plan. They would siege the entire farm! So what if the interior was a danger zone? They wouldn't come anywhere near! 

The enemies stood far from the edge of the farm as they began screaming demands: 

"You're completely surrounded. There's no escape!!" 

"Release Forsaken, Epoch, and Amber; otherwise, you won't ever get to play the game! We'll camp here harder than a COD fish!"

"You should know that what you're doing is incredibly stupid! Think about the future, the future! Luckily for you, it's not too late just yet. You might even get recruited!" 

Pumpkin Girl gave him a reassuring glance: 

"Don't worry, we can live here forever, and they won't be able to do a thing. We'll eat to our fill, live a good life, have many little pumpkins run—"

"Tempting, but impossible." Jack gently rebuked. 

This wasn't the final map of the game. Heck, eventually it wouldn't exist anymore. If things progressed as they should, main quests would begin, and then…No, he had to leave. 

The captives rejoiced, thinking he understood how fucked he was. But a second later, they suddenly had a bad feeling about the whole thing. 

Jack slowly got up, relaxedly stretching before grinning. 

"They're pretty smart. They kept their distance. If I take a step outside, even I will be blasted dead with magic." He whispered, his eyes narrowing, looking at his future victims. 

"They know what will happen if I do make it near them. I'll be able to use their bodies as shields and go on a wonderful rampage." He chuckled. 

He could already picture them, convinced that they had won and gloating. They would definitely be careless at this moment. 

"They thought of everything— or almost." That's when he nodded at Pumpkin Girl. 

"It's time to remind them what my nickname is, haha!" he had the smile of a predator going on a hunt. 

The captives suddenly felt cold as they realized what he was about to do. But it was far too late to stop it…

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The sieging players had nothing better to do than to gossip: 

"That one dude took them all hostage?!" 

"It's thanks to those plants, duh!" 

"He's trapped like a rat now." 

"Shouldn't have done that!" 

There was no way that a single guy could go against an entire army. It was simply impossible. 

"Maybe he's showcasing his skills?" 

"Either way, he has to beg for forgiveness now." 

"Won't be enough. He needs to sell his body too!" 

"You mean Join a faction, right?! Phrasing, dude!" 

"Skills, body: it's all the same in the end, you know…." 

But just as the players were bantering, they suddenly noticed a shadow flying their way. Were there birds at this hour?! 

"Oy, guys, what's that thing?!" 

Then it got closer. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? Nope, it was a Demon King!

As they saw the human crashing in their midst, their brains froze. Wait, what? Where was this guy coming from? Why was he— 

Then a white shadow streaked in the night, cracking a skull open. What the fuck?! Brain matter splashed unto them, but it was only the beginning of a horrible nightmare. 

Jack started his slaughter, powerfully swinging his Cluckinator. Every attack produced the usual Cluck sounds, but he did not care one bit. So what if they heard it?

— Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! — 

He wasn't here for a sneak attack. He was here for a massacre!

He went from player to player. Every attack was targetting the vitals: skull, throat, heart, dick! No mercy! They should have never come close to his beloved pumpkin farm! 

"ARGGGG!! 

"Send help!"

"There's a demon!" 

He was methodically and calmly ending their lives. In their eyes, he looked like a devil coming straight out of Hell! 

They tried resisting, but a patch of darkness would block everything while he would just entirely disappear at times too!

How often did they find themselves killing an ally by mistake?! They had lost count! This guy was death itself, his smile especially chilling! 

"Who the fuck is he?!" 

"This thing ain't human, monster!!!" 

"Who cares? Kill it! Take this, Wood Arrow!" 

Wood arrow sounded silly for a spell, but it was pretty damn strong. Jack knew that a single hit would end his revenge crusade. Still, how silly of them to call out their attacks.

This proved just how confused they were. #Shonen Style! #Idiots!

In the darkness, a brown light shone as an incredibly sharp branch shot forward with great momentum! Wood Arrow had the size of a Ballista Bolt! 

It flew quickly and... 

"ARGGGG!" It lodged itself deep in the flesh of its target, causing him to throw up blood. 

"Hahaha, got you, bastard! This is the power of a forest mage—"He celebrated a bit too early. 

"Dumbass! That was our man!!!" Another cursed.

Jack kept slashing, running all over the place. But every time a projectile was about to hit him, he'd swerve a bit, and an ally would be in the way! Always!!!! 

"This is freaking impossible?!" 

"What the hell is this guy made off?!" 

"Don't worry. I got this!" A man thundered as he blocked Jack's way. 

As he saw the shield, he understood the man was a tank. That's when he gave a grin as a green glow enveloped his body. Defensive self-enhancement?!

"With this, I'm invincible. Let's see you run away!"

He was going to sacrifice himself to keep him in place! But the man had chosen the perfect timing. If he avoided the grab, he would die. Oh shit! He found himself restrained... 

In the distance, there were already tons of enemies casting various abilities, from spells to shooting arrows and even throwing axes. Fuck!!! 

Jack didn't have time to waste: a single second could be deadly! He rained magical fire upon the guy. Where was his weakness?! 

"Haha, I told you, I'm invincible!!" He happily guffawed. 

Invincible, was it? What an obvious bluff! Even the Masochistic Monk wasn't invincible, and he had a 100% defensive class. 

Nope, one spot on the man's body was now slightly burnt: inner left tight! Jack promptly drove his falchion deep in it, the man's face twisting from the pain. 

This was sufficient to make him fail his defensive ability! Jack used the opening to grab the guy and rotate his body, just in time for all the attacks to land on him. 

— Swoosh! Crash! Boom! — 

— Fatality!!!— 

The shield guy's body exploded in countless light particles. Jack could already notice that most players were running away as fast as possible, slowly regaining their cohesion. 

Soon he wouldn't have any meat shields left: it was time to head the fuck out! 

"Later all!" He politely announced his departure.

They could try their best to stop him… 

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[A/N] Hype! Feb Mass Release Time! 🔥

Wood Arrow #Worst Spell Name?