Monarch of Darkness, Arsene

"Torrag, what a curious name for a city," I mused, having talked to a few of the gods, walking about like mortals, fetching waters from wells, or purchasing bread from the local bakery. Everything here seemed… abnormally normal, especially in light of someone offering me roasted god at the gates. 

Perhaps it's just me, but I'm slowly taking offense to that cannibal. We, cannibals, are creatures of secrecy. We don't do our hunting in the open or just hand out our hard-earned meals for money. 

I mean, come on! Does he not know the satisfaction? No! The euphoric sensation that comes along when you see people munching on human meat, ignorant of what they're truly eating? I think I'm going to cook that bastard up. How dare he! 

A/N: wtf 

"Sene… Your brooding." Lilith said airly. "What's up?" 

"I think it's time we baptize our children." 

"... You're talking about eating people, aren't you?" 

… She knows me so well. Am I that predictable? Clearing my throat lest I give anything away, I nodded. "Yes, but before you—

"No." 

"How about a nibble?" 

"No." 

"An ear? Iza loves ears." 

"Do you even hear yourself?" Lilith said Incredulously, 

"Of course, my voice is like the sounds of sweet nectar, so majestic mortals and gods alike will flock to suckle at my words. Yes, so is the majesty of the Lord of Darkness, the Monarch of the Hells, The king— meep!" 

Stiffening at the sudden clutching of my crotch, Lilith stared me dead in the eye. " We are not feeding my children people until they are five or ten. Clear? God knows what they might catch. God knows what weird habits Iza or Ves might pick on. Remember, they are supposed to be better than us." 

"Oh yeah. I forgot." I moaned, slouching back onto the carriage. I decided on a change of topic. "So this portal seems to be related to Eden. Think locals might give us problems if we try entering it? I'd hate to destroy such a boring place." 

"... Say, have we ever pillaged?" Lilith suddenly asked me. "I mean, have we ever just went to a village and killed everyone just for shits and giggles?" 

"... And somehow eating people is bad." I couldn't help but point out, feeling the hypocrisy rising so high I could taste it. "No… I don't believe we have. In fact, I don't believe we have ever been that bored. Why do you ask?" 

"... You think we'll ever be that crazy?" Lilith softly asked while I lazily steered the carriage up a steep hill. The kids cooed, feeling the vertigo, forcing them to clutch onto us. 

"Maybe, maybe not. What I do know is that by then, our kids will be grown-ass men and women. Who cares? Now that I think about it… how do I want to die? Definitely not by getting eaten. I don't want anyone shitting me out, lol." 

Lilith laughed. "You're an idiot!' 

Going back and forth with my wife with random conversations, it didn't take long for us to check into one of the taverns for a price of… A Wolf Pelt. Too, which Lilith swiftly created with a snap of her fingers. We were able to rent a two-bed room for a week.

"I'll stay with the kids. You go check out this gate thing." Lilith said. 

Reluctantly, I soared a few hundred meters into the skies, studying the stronghold, and summoned the crystal of breath into my palm. My eyes closed, sensing the portal a few hundred meters away within a tower at the center of the town. 

When my eyes opened, my vision penetrated through the walls to the scarlet vortex of Qi intertwining with itself, and my brow scrunched at the sight of a woman staring at me with a smile. 

"Arsene," she mouthed. 

Ignoring space, I stepped in front of her, meeting the violet eyes of probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Definitely top ten. She had long raven-colored hair with a kind face and expression… One rare for a god. And yet, I could taste the amount of lives she's taken.

 "You know me, but I don't seem to recall ever meeting such a lovely woman." 

Lifting her black robes as though it were a dress, the woman curtsied. "Eve." 

"Huh? Wait! Wow!" Opening and closing my mouth, I stared at the woman that seemed to have been crafted by… that 'was' crafted by the hands of god, sculpted to perfection in an image he deemed fit. "The first woman." 

"Second Technically. Lilith… before her untimely end was the first." 

I smiled at that. "Oh, she's alive, though I'm sure her ego will be gone soon." I casually said, smiling. My Lilith had really gone out of her way to torment that girl. 

'For our kids!' She'd say, though I got the feeling she hated being named after someone as weak as the first woman. God knows what she's doing with that sluts soul. 

"Shame, I'd have shattered it within all nine sectors of hell, so she has to experience all versions of Hell." Eve casually said, smiling with a sliver of ice over her plump lips. "Though I must say it an honor to meet the Second Monarch of the Hells." 

"Is it?" I mused, "Most people say I'm a particular type of hell to get accustomed to."

She laughed, though it didn't seem real. "Might I ask why you're here?" 

She doesn't know? Interesting. Yet she's here.

"I'm visiting your former home." I casually said, studying that flicker of emotion before her mask returned. 

"Eden is a place where impurity can't exist," she said with an edge to her voice. 

"I am the epitome of cleanliness, my lady." 

Again, she gave me her false laugh that never quite met her eyes. " I mean that only those of a pure heart can enter. Those free of sin."

"Then I'll get baptized… that is how it works, right? I'll wash the sins away." 

"This isn't a joke," Eve snapped, scrunching her brow, and sighed, scratching her head. "I heard you were a handful. Mephisto was right." 

"Oh my!" I gasped. "Are you ane Mephisto… you know!" 

"..." She tilted her head. " I don't follow?" 

"Is he between those cheeks?" 

"... What?" 

"Is he watering that garden?" 

"..." 

"Is he fucking you!" I finally said, seeing she didn't get it. 

Eve went red. Whether it was anger or embarrassment, I couldn't tell as she clenched her fist. Either way, I found myself backing up, feeling her intent turn to ice. 

Way to go, Arsene. Not even five minutes with the mother of Mothers, and you've already pissed her off.