Morbid

The room at the inn faded into existence around Arnold and then he suddenly couldn't see anything except notifications as they scrolled up in front of him.

' Welcome back to Fortune's Favour, Morbid. It has been 6,357,656 seconds since the last time you have been online. '

' Notice: You now have access to the Developer's Gate. Hit the STAR icon at the top right of your screen or speak the code phrase Dev-Gate. Developer's boosts can be accessed and applied under this menu. '

' Any and all Open Quests you have can be viewed by choosing the Open Quests option in your Player Menu. Number of Open Quests: 01 '

' Any and all Time Limited Quests or Personal Quests have expired (time exceeded). You will need to speak to the quest issuer to restart them. Number of quests failed in this manner: 00 '

' Notice: You have 2,840 player messages. '

' Notice: You have 345 party requests. '

' Notice: You have 6,182 gifts pending. Developer's Gifts are in the Dev-Gate. '

“Wow, I just had a bunch of notifications saying I failed all my Personal quests.” Kelly said from beside him and sighed. “I have to visit them again to start them over, which sucks.” She said and checked her inventory. “Well, at least I have some of the items still, so it's not too bad.”

“Kelly, what do I do?” Arnold asked and shared his view to her.

“Jesus!” Kelly exclaimed and her character reached out and scrolled through his notices. She touched his messages notice and the message option opened. “Oh, wow.” She said and swiped her hand up and the messages passed by faster than the eye could see. She swiped it to the side and it faded. She touched the party requests notice and the list popped up. “Most of these are glory hogs.”

“Glory hogs?” Arnold asked.

“They see you're popular and want to ride along on that and become popular, too.” Kelly said and selected almost every one of them. “You can tell by how they start the request if they are genuine or not.”

Arnold didn't bother trying to figure out how she was sorting them and just let her work.

“Delete those.” Kelly said and he did without even looking at them. “Okay, there's only about twenty left. Do you want to read through them and see if you want to accept their offers?”

“No.” Arnold said. “I'm here to play with you.”

Kelly's character blushed at the double meaning. “Okay... um... gifts. Let's look through them.” She said and swiped the party invites to the side and they faded. She chose the gifts notice and did something to auto-sort them.

“Do that again.” Arnold said and she did it. He copied her and saw that you could choose to sort them by item type.

Kelly changed it back to money and highlighted all the money gifts. “Accept those, since they can't enchant money with curses or spells.”

Arnold gave her a look with raised eyebrows as he accepted the money and gained 52,000 gold. With over 2,000 messages and an average of 26 gold, it all added up.

“People have sent cursed items as jokes and as revenge a bunch of times.” Kelly said. “It's ridiculously easy to have someone enchant it to give hidden detriments for your character.”

“What do I do with them?” Arnold asked.

“Well, we're in the best city in the game for selling items.” Kelly said with a smile. “Once we sort them for non-class specific items...” She checked and all the rings, necklaces, bracelets, brooches, and things that didn't require a class to use popped up. “...then we check for level requirements...”

The items were sorted again in his view.

“Anything much lower than your current level won't give you better stats than the tutorial items you gained. They can all be sold along with all the class specific stuff.” Kelly said. “Of course, the stuff you keep needs to be checked magically for curses and then identified if necessary.”

“Okay.” Arnold said and followed Kelly's instructions and stored the things he could keep, which wasn't a lot, and left the others in his gift list. He wouldn't take them out until they went back to the same vendor that he had used before to sell them.

“I'm almost scared to get you to look at the Dev-Gate.” Kelly said with a laugh.

“Why?” Arnold asked.

“Because I don't want to get jealous of the things you have access to.” Kelly said, honestly. “I know there's a few good things in there, like the generic experience boosts. If you choose a class, you can compound them and...”

“No. Not until I find one that isn't disadvantageous.” Arnold said.

Kelly laughed. “Yeah, you're going to be looking for a while. All classes have both advantages and disadvantages, that way they balance out and no one is great at everything. If they had a class that let you be great at everything, no one would play any other class.”

Arnold thought about that. “So, it's the variety and not the game itself that makes people play?”

“Well, it's more like... if you were the fighter and you played a game and everyone else was a fighter too... how would you fight? How would you win? Be stronger? Your stats would be close, if not the same. Your moves would be the same, since you all learn as a fighter. I'm sure the developers would put tweaks in for styles; but, in the end, you would all be fighters and levelling up your character first would be the only thing that mattered.”

“What about monsters?” Arnold asked.

“If you only had fighting opponents, then everyone would be out fighting monsters to try and get stronger faster, and that would be all you would do. Why fight another fighter if you are near equals, when you can just go fight monsters and get stronger until you max your level.”

“Then you fight?” Arnold asked.

“Then there's no point to fighting.” Kelly chuckled. “If you're all max level and all have similar moves and do similar damage, there's no way to get stronger or improve yourself. Why fight then? It would be pointless.” She said. “Now, a fighter versus a magic user... can the fighter beat a spell caster? Even at lower levels, it's an iffy proposition. Unless the fighter gets in close, then the magic user will usually lose because they are weak physically.”

“But at max level...” Arnold started to say, then stopped. “...the magic user doesn't have access to the same strength enhancements. Even if they match their Strength stat at max, the fighter is inherently stronger because of all the bonuses of his class and training.”

“But, they are usually weaker against magic and are vulnerable to it, so they usually buy magic resistant armor or items to help them.” Kelly said. “The same for the magic user. They would buy things to keep the fighter at bay or to keep them away from the fighter.”

Arnold thought about it and then nodded. “I'll leave the Dev-Gate closed.”

“What?” Kelly looked at him. “No, I was just joking.” She said. “I won't be jealous, I swear.”

Arnold swiped the gifts list to the side and they faded and moved the notices off to the left to get them out of the way of his sight and keep them in view at the same time, that way he could check them whenever he wanted, rather than try to bring up the individual items. He could just click the notice and it brought him right to the lists he wanted.

“Let's go.” Arnold said and turned towards the door.

“Wait!” Kelly said. “Arnold, please open the Dev-Gate. There could be something in there that can help you more than everything else in the game.”

“Or it could be more things I can't use.” Arnold said. “If I leave it closed, will they know I didn't check it?”

Kelly opened her mouth to say they wouldn't be able to tell if he looked, then she closed her mouth. “I don't know.”

“Then let's go sell all these gifts and then I can start my open quest for the training witch.” Arnold said.

“Okay.” Kelly said and followed him out of the room and down the stairs, then they left the inn and walked to the shop where Arnold had sold all of the loot he got from Brad and his friends.

Not surprisingly, the shopkeeper was once again absolutely delighted to receive a broad range of items which spanned every known type of item in the game. He also paid handsomely for the nearly 4,000 items, even though it was still below market value for the items. The prices ranged anywhere from 5 gold for a small item right up to 300 gold for the most expensive one.

With an average price of 72 gold, Arnold walked away with another 288,000 gold. Added to his previous totals, he now had 358, 536 gold. That was an absolutely ridiculous amount for a starting adventurer, considering he had only played for two days. The only problem he had was he had nothing to spend it on. Without a class, he couldn't really buy anything for himself. Nearly all of the game's mechanics revolved around some kind of class, or combination of classes, for player advancement.

Arnold was Level 56 and Kelly was Level 83 after their last foray into the summoning arena. They had debated going back in, then realized it would be only diminishing returns with much more added danger, with Arnold's level as high as it was. Plus, they would need more players in their party for the swarms of monsters that they would occasionally be pitted against.

Kelly led Arnold back towards the inn where his flying old nag was. “Tell me about the Open Quest the training witch gave you.”

“Heal a sick villager. Save ten damsels in distress. Protect a hundred people from attack. Grow a thousand crops and feed the starving.” Arnold said. “I already know how I'm going to complete it.”

“Wow... okay.” Kelly said. “I think the first is simple, since there is always at least someone sick in one of the villages out in the wilderness.” She thought about it. “Finding a single damsel might be hard. Finding ten of them to save?” She chuckled. “You're going to be filling that quest out for a long time.”

Arnold didn't respond and she nodded.

“Protecting a hundred people from attack might also be difficult. Maybe we can go adventuring as caravan guards or something? Or escorts for larger parties?” Kelly pondered. “The crops thing, though...” She shook her head. “How in the world will you grow a thousand crops to feed the starving? You're not a farmer. I'm pretty sure that if you take that class, you'll become a peasant and can't wear armor at all.”

Arnold stayed quiet and thought about the problem. “I need to find crop seeds, in case they don't have some in the village we're going to.”

Kelly gave him a look that said he was a little crazy for doing the most difficult one first, then she smiled and nodded. They went to the general store and the clerk sold them two large bags of feed. Arnold only needed one small bag; but, in order to fulfill the quest, he wanted to make sure enough crops were actually planted. Arnold also bought farming tools that included a pick and two kinds of shovels, one of which was a spade and the other was a normal flat shovel. After that, they went back to the inn and he retrieved the old nag.

Arnold helped Kelly on and sat behind her, then put his arms around her and took the reins. “The poorest farming village within a five minute flight time.”

The old nag turned her head and neighed at him.

“I think she just said to stuff your too generic request.” Kelly said with a laugh.

Arnold nodded and spoke loudly. “Goddess Helena, guardian of these lands, heed my call! I have a need for your immense knowledge!”

A bright golden glow grew in front of them and a floating Helena emerged from it.

“Greetings, Morbid.” Helena said and nodded to him, then nodded at Kelly. “Fervent_Wish.”

“Greetings.” Arnold said. “Can you tell me where the poorest village is within an hour's walk of here?”

“That would be Hasham's Harvest, forty minutes walk towards the east.” Helena said and pointed. “Even though it is well placed near a water source, it has had a dry spell and they haven't recovered from it yet.”

Arnold nodded and let the reins go to hold his arms out to the goddess. “Will you come with us?” He asked. “I may need your help again.”

“Unfortunately, because of your actions, I have been quite busy.” Helena said.

Kelly caught her breath in surprise. She shouldn't know about that! She thought. “How do you know it's because of him?”

“All of the new adventurers referred to Morbid as the reason they started playing.” Helena said to her, then she looked towards Arnold and her cheeks flushed red as she floated close. “I haven't been needed this much in years.” She said and completely ignored Kelly as she floated into Arnold's arms and kissed him on the lips. “Thank you for bringing me so many new people to take care of.”

Arnold nodded and she floated back to where she was, her whole face red now.

“If you need me, just call again.” Helena said and she touched her lips. As she faded away, she whispered. “It means more when you kiss on the lips.”

“Well. That just happened.” Kelly said and stared at the spot. She wasn't sure if she should be impressed that Arnold really did coerce the game's guide or pissed that it happened right in front of her.

Arnold put his arms back around Kelly to take the reins again. “Hasham's Harvest.”

The old nag was covered in sparkles and then two huge translucent butterfly wings popped out of its shoulders, flapped so fast that they looked like hummingbird wings, and the horse took off. Three minutes later, they landed on a large hill that overlooked the village.

“Info for Hasham's Harvest.” Arnold said and a popup told him there were only three hundred people in the village. There were also a dozen sick people and most of them were starving.

“This is definitely one of the worst places I've seen in the game so far.” Kelly said. “I can't believe this is so close to one of the major cities and it looks like this.” She turned her head to look at Arnold. “We should talk to the mayor and see if there's any quests we can do to help them.”

“No.” Arnold said.

“What?” Kelly looked at him in surprise. “But, I thought we came here to help them?”

“No, I came to do my quest.” Arnold said and looked around for something appropriate. He saw something several hundred feet away on the next hill and smiled. He hopped off the nag and ran over to a jagged cliff face that had lots of loose rocks and stones. They looked precariously balanced, so he nodded and started to chip away at one particularly large rock that was embedded near the top.

“Arnold, what are you doing?” Kelly asked. She had walked over and had the nag's reins in her hands.

“Endangering the village.” Arnold said and stopped when he felt the large rock shift slightly. “Wait for me to finish digging the trench before you hit this spot right here with one of your explosive magic spells.” He pointed to a spot just below the large rock.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Kelly said and held her hands up. “You want me to intentionally blast the rock loose?”

Arnold nodded. “It should start a rock slide.” He pointed down the slight slope and at all the other rocks. “I was going to have you just try to light the village on fire...”

“ARNOLD!” Kelly yelled.

“What?”

“You can't... this isn't... we're supposed to...”

“My quest says nothing about having to do the requirements naturally.”

“But...”

“This will complete two parts of the quest with one action.” Arnold said and she gasped.

“WHAT?!?” Kelly exclaimed.

“I will protect over a hundred people from an attack and I will save ten damsels in distress.”

Kelly looked at the rock and then at the village. “But... this...”

“I can do it myself if you don't want to.” Arnold said.

“I... no, we... we're in this together.” Kelly said. “How long will it take to dig the trench?”

“I've never done it in the game before, so I'll know soon.” Arnold said. “I'll holler when I'm done.” He walked over to the nag. “Stay here. I'll be back in a little while.” He said and took out a huge bright red apple. The nag took the whole thing in one bite and apple juice sloshed out of its mouth as it chewed. Arnold took off at a light jog, which Kelly thought would be a full out run for her, and he disappeared from sight.

“At least the villagers can't see us up here.” Kelly said in relief and looked at the spot Arnold had pointed to on the cliff face. “I can't believe I'm going to do this.”

“Oh, no.” Arnold's voice said loudly a short while later. “The cliff looks like it's collapsing! Everyone, get behind me! I'll save you!”

Kelly waited for a moment, then used a spell called Decompression. It was a neat spell and she always enjoyed the sight of things being decompressed and exploding outwards. Even now, abusing the spell to cause rocks to explode and expand and cause a rock slide, it looked neat. Unfortunately, she knew it was being used as a tactic to finish a long quest quickly and it didn't hold the same joy for her.

The large rock popped out of the cliff face and started a rock slide that rolled down the angled surface like water. It disappeared from view and she was pretty sure that she didn't want to see what was happening. She could definitely hear it, since it sounded like thunder as it moved down towards the village. After about ten minutes, the sound died out and she couldn't resist the urge to go look.

Kelly ran over to the other hill to look down at the village and gasped. Tons of rock and gravel had piled up right in front of the village. She couldn't even see a trench, since it must have been buried under the mass of the rock slide. She could hear muffled yells and people moving around, so she started to run down the hill as fast as she could. When she neared the rocks, she cast an Air Step spell. She jumped out from the hill and took two steps, then jumped again.

Kelly landed just on the other side of the huge mounds of stone and gravel and gasped again. Arnold was surrounded by no less than fifteen young women and they were all kissing and hugging him as they thanked him for saving them. The other villagers were around them and gave him their praise, for someone so brave as to face down a natural disaster with nothing but his shield and a shovel.

“Arnold.” Kelly said and he turned to look at her as a young woman kissed his cheek. “What are you doing?”

“The daughters of the farmers were damsels in distress and wanted to thank me.” Arnold said. “Especially when I gave the sick mayor one of my healing fruit.”

Kelly's mouth dropped open. He just... no, he... he's done three of...

“That's four of the five requirements, because the mayor was starving, too.” Arnold said and then pointed to a group of men not far away. “The farmers said their fields are too dusty to plant anything, so we just need to cast water spells into the cisterns they use for water dispersal. The irrigation will take care of itself and I'll plant these two bags of seeds.” He took out the two large bags of seeds and the entire village cheered.