Morbid

When Arnold finished going around the room and checking everything, including the lab tables, the drawers and handles, and the chairs, he walked over to the professor's desk and put the clipboard and pencil down on it.

“Good job, Arnold.” Amy said with a big smile as she opened the lab door, then she and Cissily came in and walked over to the desk. “You actually completed that a lot faster than...” She stopped talking when she saw the first sheet on the clipboard.

Not only did it have the item's location and name, it also had a well-drawn box beside it with the number of items inside. It had the word 'Grade' next and six boxes beside that, and each and every item had a mark in the box to correspond to the quality. The range was Discard, Poor, Fair, Good, Very Good, and New. He even had a note explaining the grade beside them. For everything.

Cissily saw it and gasped. “That's better organized than the actual inventory list!” She said and then covered her mouth. “Sorry, Fareena.”

“It's all right. The professor said to compare them.” Amy said and took a laptop out of the second drawer and sat down at the professor's desk and opened the laptop, waited for it to start, then loaded the inventory spreadsheet. When she looked at it, it really was a poor imitation of Arnold's simple handwritten itemized list.

It took Amy almost thirty minutes to go through Arnold's list and to find the corresponding item in the spreadsheet, because the spreadsheet had automatically alphabetized them.

Why does Arnold's list look so much better? Amy asked herself in confusion. It took me hours to set this spreadsheet up with this much detail, and his details are head and shoulders above mine... and he wrote it all out by hand.

Amy stopped herself from getting angry about it, mainly because of what the professor had told her about not being upset if Arnold's list was better. The worst part about it was he had caught over two dozen pretty glaring faults in some of the equipment that she had missed. It was because she had told him to inspect every item that he had found them, and that made it a little easier for her to accept that he was better than her about it.

This... this is what the professor meant when he asked me if I was prepared for Arnold to surpass my own skills. Amy thought and looked up from the laptop at Arnold, who looked back at her. Not only did he do the inventory a lot faster than I did, he did it by hand and in a lot more detail.

Amy knew that he very easily could be rubbing it in her face. In the back of her mind, she expected him to laugh at her pathetic spreadsheet, or to tell her that she couldn't compare to his skills, or even to gloat over his proficiency at doing something she only did a half-ass job with. All Arnold did was stand there and look back at her.

“I think... it's almost time for lunch.” Amy said and looked at her friend. “Cissily, could you give me a hand in adapting a new inventory spreadsheet? I can't fit Arnold's into this one properly, so we have to do another one.”

“Are you kidding?” Cissily asked. “You know I'm still hung over, right?”

Amy smiled. “We just have to start it and set up the parameters. I'll integrate the two lists myself this afternoon.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Cissily said in relief. “We have to eat, too!”

Amy chuckled. “Arnold, come back at one o'clock and I'll give you a proper tour of the whole department. There is a lot more to see than just the lobby displays and the lab here.”

“Okay.” Arnold said and walked over to the lab door, opened it, and left.

Cissily waited for a minute before she spoke. “You were actually nice to him at the end and not the fake nice you started with.”

Amy nodded. “Both you and the professor are right.”

“Oh. My. GOD.” Cissily said and put her hands on her friend's shoulders and gave her a little shake. “Who the fuck are you and what did you do to my bitch?”

Amy couldn't help it and laughed. “Hey, I can admit it when someone else is right.”

“Since when?” Cissily asked with a huge grin.

“Since now, you drunken whore!” Amy said and swatted Cissily's hands from her shoulders.

“There she is!” Cissily said and laughed. “You had me worried for a second there.”

“Fuck you.” Amy said and grinned. “It really will only take a few minutes to use Arnold's inventory layout to make another spreadsheet.”

“Stealing his work already, are you?” Cissily asked and Amy laughed again.

“No, I'm adapting it.” Amy said. “I'm still going to add my own inventory tweaks to it, since I caught things Arnold missed.”

“Are you going to tell him that?” Cissily asked.

“I'll be going over everything with Arnold as I enter it into the spreadsheet, so yes.” Amy said.

“You're actually going to work all day until four, aren't you?” Cissily asked.

“I kind of have to, now.” Amy said and touched the inventory list. “You know what the professor's going to say when he sees this.”

Cissily cleared her throat and spoke in a deep voice. “Why isn't this what our spreadsheet looks like?”

Amy laughed. “Exactly!” She said. “I won't make you hang around until I'm done, either.”

“Then let's get to work.” Cissily said. “There's a plate of spicy curly fries in the cafeteria that's calling my name.”

*

Kelly and Annie sat down on one of the beds and let out relieved sighs. They had put everything away that they had brought, which seemed like a lot when it was still in boxes. The things barely filled one of the dressers and only half of the closet, including all the dry cleaning bags with Arnold's new suits and both Arnold's and Kelly's clothes that needed to be hung up.

“I can't believe you let her kiss you.” Kelly said with a crooked smile.

“Let her? Ha!” Annie laughed. “She surprised the hell out of me!”

Kelly snorted and then laughed, too. Annie turned to face her at the sound of her snort and remembered what Dianne had said about it meaning that someone was comfortable enough around you to laugh as hard as they wanted.

“What was it like?” Kelly asked.

“That's... a little hard to describe.” Annie said. “It was soft... I mean, a lot softer than kissing a man.”

Kelly nodded. “Did it feel weird? Like... like you were kissing your sister or something?”

Annie raised her eyebrows at the wording. “That sounds like experience talking.”

Kelly opened her mouth to deny it, then smiled. “Well, there was one time Heather sneaked a glass of wine away from her mother...”

Annie snorted herself. “You just had to drink and kiss, right?”

Kelly blushed a little. “We were both a little depressed that we hadn't had dates in a while and had a few sips. When we started to list the qualities we had that guys should be fighting over us for, well...”

“Soft lips definitely came up.” Annie said with a smile.

“They really are soft. Softer than I thought they would be.” Kelly said. “You see lipstick and it makes lips look firm and kissable... but... it's like... kissing a cloud.”

“But?” Annie prompted.

“It felt... not empty, but... wrong, somehow? Like, I didn't get a thrill from it. Not even a little.”

“Which means you need to feel something romantic before the kiss can mean anything.” Annie said.

“Yes! That's it.” Kelly said and nodded. “It wasn't romantic at all. I couldn't even get my head wrapped around the idea to see her like that, you know?”

Annie nodded. “Oh, I know.”

Kelly smiled. “Dianne?”

Annie nodded again. “I liked talking to her and spending time with her. To use her own words, she's quite interesting. The hand holding was a little off-putting; but, it wasn't like holding the hand of someone I care about.” She said. “The kiss... well... it was more surprise than anything.”

“I was surprised when I heard about it, so I can only imagine how you felt.” Kelly chuckled.

“Shocked. Flabbergasted. Flummoxed.” Annie said and Kelly laughed.

“When are you coming back to see her?” Kelly asked, teasingly.

“I'd say on or about the third of never.” Annie said and they both laughed.

It was then that they heard someone outside the room door and their laughter died.

“Did you lock the door?” Kelly asked.

“Always.” Annie said.

The door handle turned once, and again, then there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” Kelly asked.

“Arnold.”

“Just a second!” Kelly ran over to the door and opened it. “We're in a strange place, so we have to keep the door locked, just in case.”

Arnold nodded and stepped inside.

“We should pick up a nice key ring that you can hook to your belt.” Annie said. “Then you won't have to worry about losing your keys.”

“Are you off for lunch?” Kelly asked.

Arnold nodded. “Until one o'clock, then I have to go back and tour the rest of the biology department. There's a lot more to see than the lobby displays and the lab.”

“She's definitely going to keep you there until four.” Annie said with a chuckle. “We better go grab something to eat.”

“Take-out?” Kelly asked and she nodded. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Pizza.” Annie said. “I haven't had a good pizza in a while.”

“We can get an extra large and save what we don't eat for supper or for lunch tomorrow.” Kelly said.

“Now you're starting to think frugally.” Annie said and the three of them left the dorm room and went down in the elevator.

Kelly checked her cell phone and looked at the local places and read some of the reviews. “It looks like there's a good place about six blocks east from here.”

“Six blocks?” Annie asked with a laugh. “You're going to spend a lot on delivery fees if that's the closest good pizza place.”

“Definitely.” Kelly said. “If it's a good pizza, it'll be worth getting once a week or so.”

They left the elevator and went outside and climbed into the car. Annie drove to the address and they went inside to see that it was barely twenty feet wide.

“How did you fit a pizza place in here?” Annie asked the woman behind the counter.

“We turned it sideways!” The woman responded and laughed. “What can I get you?”

“Is anything on special?” Annie asked.

“We're running a special on Hawaiian Pineapple and Spicy Italian Sausage.”

“Together?” Annie asked with a sour face and the woman laughed.

“No, each.” The woman said and pointed behind her at the menu. “Although, for a few dollars, I'll put sausage on the Hawaiian.”

“No thanks!” Annie said with a laugh and looked at Kelly. “Any preference?”

“I don't think I can eat pineapple and pizza sauce.” Kelly said and made the same sour face Annie just used. “I also don't think Arnold should eat anything spicy going back to work.”

“Good point.” Annie said and looked at the menu. “You better give us the extra large Meat Lovers pizza to go.”

“You got it.” The woman said. “It'll be about twenty minutes.”

“Thanks.” Annie said and picked up a paper take out menu from the stack on the counter. “You're probably going to want this.”

Kelly nodded and folded it up and put it in her pocket. “We should stop at a grocery store and pick up a few things for sandwiches, too.”

“We can do that after we eat and drop Arnold off at work.” Annie said and waved at one of the tables. “Tell us about what Amy had you doing this morning when we left.”

The three of them sat down and Arnold told them about setting up the workstations for the rest of the department and then taking a full inventory of the lab equipment. Both Annie and Kelly were surprised for only a few seconds that Amy would do that to him on his very first day, then they realized she was trying to get back at him for what he had said about her to the professor.

The problem they had was that they couldn't say anything about it, to either Arnold or his boss. Amy could easily claim that it was necessary and Annie and Kelly would be seen as trying to cause trouble, which was exactly what the professor had warned them about not causing. If they did, then they would no longer be allowed to visit Arnold in the lab and that was something that neither of them wanted to lose.

The pizza arrived and Annie paid for it, then they left and drove back to the apartment. On the way by the desk where the dorm manager sat, Annie asked Doris if she would like a slice of pizza. She politely refused and stated that she had already eaten and couldn't afford to put even more weight on her hips. Both Annie and Kelly nodded in understanding and they went up in the elevator to the dorm room to eat.

The pizza was quite delicious and Annie had a piece and a half, Kelly had a piece and a half as well, and Arnold ate one piece and stopped. That left four large pieces for another meal and Kelly piled them onto a single plate and put it into the small half-fridge. They all brushed their teeth and used some mouthwash to freshen their mouths.

“Your mom and I are going to run some errands, so we will see you after work.” Kelly said and gave Arnold a kiss.

“We'll be back in plenty of time, so don't worry about being locked out.” Annie said. “If we aren't here, Doris should have a key to let you in.”

“Okay.” Arnold said and left to go back to the lab.

“Now that we have a good idea of how much space you have here, we can pick up some more things.” Annie said to Kelly. “It's a bit sad that your refrigerator is so small.”

Kelly nodded. “We won't be storing a lot of perishable foods, that's true.” She said. “We've got almost as much cupboard space as you do at the house, though.”

Annie chuckled. “We'll focus on dry goods, then.” She said. “Oh, and definitely toilet paper and paper towels.”

“I'd say a few packs of paper plates as well.” Kelly said. “We might as well get used to it, since I doubt either of us is going to have the time to wash dishes when college starts in the fall.”

“Only if you promise to have at least one meal a week on actual plates.” Annie said a little sternly.

“Oh, I can definitely promise that.” Kelly said and opened the door as she grinned at Annie. “We're coming back to your place every weekend, remember?”

Annie's mouth opened in surprise and Kelly laughed.

“We better get going.” Kelly said and ushered Annie out of the room, then shut and locked the door.

*

Arnold walked into the lab and saw that it was empty. The laptop and his inventory report was still on the desk. When he looked at the clock on the wall, he saw there was still about five minutes left for lunch. He sat down and hit the button to turn the laptop on and waited, then used the knowledge that Kelly had given him and started up the spreadsheet program.

He loaded the last file that had been opened and saw a remarkable copy of his inventory setup, with a few exceptions and additions that he assumed Amy must have put in for some reason. Only the first two entries had been added, so he checked the fields to make sure the formulas and formats were copied throughout the spreadsheet, then started typing.

Arnold had already memorized the keyboard, so all he had to do was read his report and copied over the information into the spreadsheet. He was about halfway through the first page of his report when the lab door opened and Amy came in.

“Oh, you're here already.” Amy said and Arnold looked up at the clock to see that it was five minutes after one o'clock. “What are you doing?” She asked and looked at the spreadsheet he was filling out. “How long have you been here?”

“Ten minutes.” Arnold said and stopped typing for a moment as he flipped the first page of his hand written inventory, then he started typing again.

Amy stood there for the next twenty minutes as Arnold entered everything from his report into the new spreadsheet. “How did you learn to do that?” She asked, and couldn't find any errors. Not one.

“My girlfriend Kelly spent all week teaching me everything I needed to know.” Arnold said.

“All week?” Amy asked, shocked. It had taken her a lot longer than that to learn how to use a spreadsheet properly and she still couldn't type without looking at the keyboard.

“Except for yesterday. We had graduation and prom.”

Amy was silent for a moment. “I'm sorry you had to work the very next day.”

“Why?” Arnold asked.

“It's the weekend.” Amy said. “Most people have the weekends off.”

“My job description said I needed to be available on every second Sunday for work.”

Amy closed her mouth before she said that wasn't fair, then nodded. “I'll give you a quick tour, then we'll both go over my inventory and yours to compare them and integrate them. I'll show you the things you missed along the way as well.”

“Okay.” Arnold said and saved the spreadsheet and shut the laptop down, then he followed Amy around the entire department and she showed him a few wonders that he had never seen before.