Chapter 37: Chapter 037 – Dummy 1 Was Beaten to Death

Translator: Exodus Tales

Editor: Exodus Tales

What sort of new player are you!

A real new player would already be licking my feet!!!

The system mentally roared, but its body obediently handed over the stat points it had hidden, and they’re really had been a ‘new player pack.’

Strength points x2; Constitution points x3, Wisdom points x1, free points x3!

Seeing all these different stat points, Luo Su realized that he had only received free points before this, and in normal circumstances, free points were definitely more valuable than the other stat points.

Luo Su’s face darkened. A high value meant that pulling them was more difficult, which meant that the system had swindled him out of a fortune.

By the time he had raised a fist, the system had already run off, not even daring to get close.

Luo Su silently voiced a ‘stupid system.’ In his mental world, there was no such thing as too far. He swung his fist at the air, and the distant system felt like a hammer had struck its face and instantly dropped down and covered its face.

After distributing the stat points, his basic traits changed once more…


[User: Luo Su]

[Strength: 13 (7+6]

[Constitution: 12 (6+6)]

[Wisdom: 12 (9+3)]

[Wealth: 5700]

At this time, the system ran up to Luo Su while pinching its nose. Speaking in a flattering tone, it said, “Daddy, the three basic traits don’t need to be evenly distributed as much as I said before. As long as the gap isn’t too great, it won’t do you any harm.”

Thud!

Luo Su drew back his fist: “Uncle Luo!”

System: “…”

It’s the same result no matter what I call you! You just want to beat me up!

The system found itself very tired, but a fish on the cutting board couldn’t fight back. It could only continue to lick. Squeezing out a smile, it said, “Then…Uncle Daddy Luo, if you put your free points in the ‘Constitution,’ you can extend your lifespan. Although you can’t get true immortality, if you keep adding points, you won’t have any restrictions on your life and can enjoy eternal youth!”

Luo Su was rather tempted by this. To not have a restricted lifespan and to enjoy eternal youth were truly alluring to the extreme. This was probably something that all living beings desire.

But…

What did it matter if a weak chicken had a lifespan equal to heaven? They would still be a weak chicken, though perhaps one that was a little chewier! The most important thing for a weak chicken was to realize its own weakness, to tell life and heaven to go to hell, and become a fighting cock!

Thus, Luo Su firmly decided to add all his free points to the ‘Constitution.’

[User: Luo Su]

[Strength: 13 (7+6]

[Constitution: 15 (6+9)]

[Wisdom: 12 (9+3)]

Mm, he felt good now!

‘Constitution’ was a fusion of the physical body, the five senses, poison resistance, environmental adaptability, HP, physical resistance, and other such attributes. Three additional points in other areas might have been able to increase his fighting power as well, but by adding them to the Constitution, he would be better in a melee.

Yes, Luo Su hadn’t added points there for an extended lifespan, but so that his body could be sturdier!

In simple terms, before adding the points, if Luo Su had challenged a boss alone, he would have died in a single punch. Now, there was still some hope!

After adding points, Luo Su opened his new player pack, but this was really just ten free pulls for a new player.

[Ding!]

[User has opened the new player reward, a total of ten pulls. The rewards are as follows…]

“Wait! Wait!”

Luo Su darkly turned around and saw the system trying to play cute. “Why are you talking?”

The system prodded its cheeks with its fingers and cutely said, “Lalala! I’ve been providing the sound this entire time!

Thud!

Straight punch!

Nosebleed!

The system was not something that could be spoiled. If caught red-handed, it needed a good thrashing to know to be good!

Luo Su gave another kick to the curled-up system, ignored its tear-stricken and adorable face, and began to examine the ten cards he had pulled.

[Character Card: Husky (It can’t possibly fight, not unless the ceiling attacks first)]

[Item Card: Enema (Has an excellent nourishing effect on the skin. During the cold and dry winter season, it is an excellent product for protecting the skin and can prevent chapping)]

[Item Card: Desert Eagle God (If we take back what was said in Chapter 6, the Desert Eagle is still very formidable, because only be spending money can you be happy)]

[Item Card: OK Bandages x3 (Effective at stopping blood, sterilization, and disinfecting)]

[Item Card: Immortal-Scattering Pill (Take one in your spare time and instantly become a god)]

[Character Card: Ding Xiu (Kid, you’ve got a good eye. This girl is very smooth~~~)]

(TN: Ding Xiu is a character from the Chinese movie Brotherhood of Blades)]

[Character Card: Duan Shuiliu (I’m not targeting you specifically. I’m saying that everyone here is trash)]

(TN: Duan Shuiliu, also read as Lau Tuen-Shui, is the villain of the Hong Kong comedy film ‘Love on Delivery’)

[Skill Card: Iron-Blooded Jumpshot (Whether fighting or retreating, never show fear)]

(TN: Apparently, Qidian commentators take this as a reference to Kevin Garnett, who often yells after attempting a jump shot.)

[Skill Card: Pressure Point Art (Incredibly destructive against female targets. Can make opponents fall into a state of paralysis, numbness, and dehydration)]

[Strength point x1]

Luo Su: “…”

He didn’t even know where to start. Forget it! Let it be!

Luo Su added the Strength point, and when he saw it go up from 13 to 14, he felt an indescribable sense of accomplishment.

He had two more pulls, the ones from the world of Wanted provided by the Butcher and Repairman. Luo Su struck while the iron was hot and used them.

[Character Card: Seven (The high-class hairstylist of Dai Bo’s Hairsaloon)]

(TN: Is the main character of the Chinese animated comedy series ‘Scissor Seven)

[Skill Card: Handgun Proficiency (Your handgun shooting is excellent)]

Luo Su: “…”

Who was Seven?

I already have Handgun Proficiency as a permanent skill. What do I need this card for?

I feel terrible! I almost want to find a system and beat it up!

Luo Su turned to the system at his feet, which immediately began to shiver all over. Realizing that it was about to get beat up, it clambered to its feet, clung to Luo Su’s leg, and cried.

“I’m innocent!!

“It has nothing to do with me! The pulls are entirely based on luck. I can’t control it. I swear to the heavens that I don’t have the privilege to modify the lottery phase. My privileges are less than yours. If you can’t do it, neither can I!”

The system rubbed its tear- and snot-covered face all over Luo Su’s pants. It was an incredibly aggrieved expression, and given that it was currently in the form of a little girl, it made one want to take it home and take care of it.

Thud!

Straight punch!

The system dropped to the ground. It was no longer crying because it had run out of tears!

With the pulls done, Luo Su found no reason to stay here, but he discovered a serious problem. The mental world was under his control, but he didn’t know how to leave.

Luo Su squatted down and picked up the bedraggled and despairing system from the ground. Wiping the blood off its nose, he put on a warm smile. “Starting from today, you’re with me. If there’s a day when my hand is feeling itchy, you should show some tact!”

Are you a monster?

The system was utterly speechless. It could already see its tragic life, with no status or even a seat at the table.

Wait for a second! I still have a future?!

The system sat up straight and excitedly asked, “Dear master, what do you mean when you say I’m with you? You don’t plan to obliterate my will and turn me into a mechanical and brainless system?”

Luo Su rubbed the system on the head and then stood up. “Of course not. You’re so dumb that you might as well be brainless. If I delete you, where will I find a stupider system?”


Boohoo~~~

At this moment, the system found itself incredibly despicable. It was clearly being called brainless, but it felt happy, not angry.

“Right, are there a lot of systems like you?”

The system blinked and thought it over. “I’m not sure how many there are, but the user I supported before, Dummy 1, encountered another system. Because their missions conflicted, they even fought!”

“What was the result?” Luo Su raised an eyebrow. If you’re calling him a dummy, then he really must have been an idiot.

“That battle caused the heavens to go dark, the sun and moon to go out, the mountains and rivers to shatter, all life to go extinct. The user I supported battled with the enemy from the earth to the heavens, from the heavens to space, and then from space back down to earth…”

Thud!

Luo Su drew back his fist. “You’re not writing a novel, so why are you wasting so many words? What was the result? Answer seriously this time!”

“Dummy 1 was beaten to death!”

Luo Su: “…”

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