Music System in a Cultivation World: What the F*ck
236 The Sprinkler 1
with the trees getting closer and closer to a dreadful black, my surroundings turned darker and darker. panicking, i realized that the only think i could do... was follow the system's commands.
so, with a deep breath, i did what any young and clueless boy would do: i danced without a care in the world.
of course, i couldn't do that awkward shuffle that all kids had in their arsenal during dances, so the next best thing that i did was whip out the disco dance moves.
i began to move my hands in the air erratically (mimicking a sprinkler) before i transitioned to the disco point. and, when i noticed that nothing happened, i moved on to the ultimate move- the card swipe.
unfortunately, nothing happened.
the once-pink trees were now a worrying dark purple, their leaves curling into themselves and looking more like hypodermic needles than their regular heart-shaped look. some, on the other hand, morphed so that their edges weren't smooth, but rather a jagged edge, kind of like a chain-saw.
i shivered as i felt my eyes burn with an increased fervor. i moved my eyes to the tree trunks to try to ease the pain, but it was a mistake.
black, bubbling sap oozed out of each tree, seemingly like the remains of a burned science experiment gone wrong. even worse was the smell- each of the trunks' discharge smelled like raw sewage and sh*t.
i gagged, immediately moving my sight towards the ground. breathing through my mouth, it took a few seconds for me to regain my calm. which i quickly lost right after.
worms.
the black foliage of before turned into the creepy-crawlers, their slimly, grotesque bodies crawling all over my sandals.
i shivered. thank goodness they were just worms. worms couldn't hurt you. taking a deep breath, i was about to shift my attention back to the sky, before i realized something that shook me down to my core.
the worms had mouths.
razor-sharp mouths.
really large razor-sharp mouths.
f*ck, sh*t, b*tch, d*mn.
my first reaction was to jump, but of course the stupid, f*cking ground decided that it liked my feet, vacuuming them and not letting them go. i stared in horror as the little buggers started to show off their teeth in a bizarre dental show before they shrieked and took large chunks of my- mind you- enchanted cultivator sandals.
they ate it like it was butter.
shivering, i was truly in the frying pan now. no, i wasn't in the frying pan, i was in the f*cking fire. left with no other options, i turned to the one thing that i had left: the system.
so, system. please. tell me you have some way for me to get out of this.
[ ... ]
system. i'm going to die.
[ has host danced? ]
yes, i f*cking did!
[ standby mode. 2 minutes and 30 seconds. ]
f*ck! i don't even have three seconds!!! do something!
the sound of chewing leather reached my ears, and i flinched with every sickening slurp. i swerved my view in every direction, taking in the now-black trees, night-like view, and sewer-like smell.
i hadn't cultivated very far, and i knew next-to-nothing about cultivation techniques and what-not.
even what i did have- the vacuum thingy- was just something to combat the poison that i didn't have anymore.
supposedly, i'm half-demon, but what can i do with that? can i fight just because i'm half-demon? probably... but did i know how to fight? nope.
i'm going to f*cking die.
f*ck, sh*t, b*tch, d*mn.
so, with a deep breath, i did what any young and clueless boy would do: i danced without a care in the world.
of course, i couldn't do that awkward shuffle that all kids had in their arsenal during dances, so the next best thing that i did was whip out the disco dance moves.
i began to move my hands in the air erratically (mimicking a sprinkler) before i transitioned to the disco point. and, when i noticed that nothing happened, i moved on to the ultimate move- the card swipe.
unfortunately, nothing happened.
the once-pink trees were now a worrying dark purple, their leaves curling into themselves and looking more like hypodermic needles than their regular heart-shaped look. some, on the other hand, morphed so that their edges weren't smooth, but rather a jagged edge, kind of like a chain-saw.
i shivered as i felt my eyes burn with an increased fervor. i moved my eyes to the tree trunks to try to ease the pain, but it was a mistake.
black, bubbling sap oozed out of each tree, seemingly like the remains of a burned science experiment gone wrong. even worse was the smell- each of the trunks' discharge smelled like raw sewage and sh*t.
i gagged, immediately moving my sight towards the ground. breathing through my mouth, it took a few seconds for me to regain my calm. which i quickly lost right after.
worms.
the black foliage of before turned into the creepy-crawlers, their slimly, grotesque bodies crawling all over my sandals.
i shivered. thank goodness they were just worms. worms couldn't hurt you. taking a deep breath, i was about to shift my attention back to the sky, before i realized something that shook me down to my core.
the worms had mouths.
razor-sharp mouths.
really large razor-sharp mouths.
f*ck, sh*t, b*tch, d*mn.
my first reaction was to jump, but of course the stupid, f*cking ground decided that it liked my feet, vacuuming them and not letting them go. i stared in horror as the little buggers started to show off their teeth in a bizarre dental show before they shrieked and took large chunks of my- mind you- enchanted cultivator sandals.
they ate it like it was butter.
shivering, i was truly in the frying pan now. no, i wasn't in the frying pan, i was in the f*cking fire. left with no other options, i turned to the one thing that i had left: the system.
so, system. please. tell me you have some way for me to get out of this.
[ ... ]
system. i'm going to die.
[ has host danced? ]
yes, i f*cking did!
[ standby mode. 2 minutes and 30 seconds. ]
f*ck! i don't even have three seconds!!! do something!
the sound of chewing leather reached my ears, and i flinched with every sickening slurp. i swerved my view in every direction, taking in the now-black trees, night-like view, and sewer-like smell.
i hadn't cultivated very far, and i knew next-to-nothing about cultivation techniques and what-not.
even what i did have- the vacuum thingy- was just something to combat the poison that i didn't have anymore.
supposedly, i'm half-demon, but what can i do with that? can i fight just because i'm half-demon? probably... but did i know how to fight? nope.
i'm going to f*cking die.
f*ck, sh*t, b*tch, d*mn.
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