My beautiful boss and I

After sending Su Dingguo off, I went back to my dorm, still thinking about the wine shop tonight. While thinking about it, I turned on the computer to surf the Internet and logged in to button.

Floating life is like a dream.

"Here you are."

"Well, I'm You're here, too. "

Although we all know who each other is in reality, it seems that we are not willing to call each other's real name on the button, it seems that we are not willing to walk out of the illusory world that seems to still exist, and we seem to be willing to stay in the air that once had heart palpitations.

I still want to take her in this world as a dream, not Qiutong.

But the content of our conversation is back to reality.

Illusion and reality, it seems, are always crossed and cannot be parallel.

"I want to ask you something." I said.

"You said She sent a smile.

"You say, in officialdom, how can you do a good job of observing what you say? How can we make the best of observing words and colors? " I said.

"Why do you want to ask that? Why are you suddenly interested in this? " She said.

"I'm curious. I'm curious about everything I don't understand. I want to know! Isn't it good that I have a strong thirst for knowledge? " I said.

She sent a smile: "OK, OK, OK!"

"Then tell me, you must know!" I said.

"Yes, I know some, but I don't want to tell you!" She said.

"Why?" I said.

"Because I don't want you to reach the so-called extreme!" She said: "I always feel that it's a derogatory term to look at words and expressions!"

"That's not necessarily. It depends on how you use it. If you use it well, it can also become a commendatory word!" I said, "besides, what's the harm of knowing more about this? I think it's a double-edged sword to observe words and colors, to see who can use it, to see who can use it, and to see how to use it. "

She said, "maybe you have a point In fact, I don't know much about it, because I seldom use it I can only talk to you about some of my preliminary knowledge. "

"Good Then tell me quickly -- "I said.

"Are you ordering me?" She sent a questioning expression.

"No, I'm asking you! How about that? " I couldn't help laughing.

"Ha ha, that's about the same!"

"Lead teacher, say it I'm all ears

She began to say: "in the real society and officialdom, a person's words and deeds, every move, even a look, are conveying some subtle information to others, which reflects a person's real mood and real character at that time. As we all know, many times, it is not easy for us to really understand a person and his real thoughts. Either for defense or for deception, people usually hide themselves behind an invisible mask, and do not let others know their psychology and thoughts easily.

"When we appreciate a portrait of a person, we are often attracted by his eyes first. The eye is the window of the soul, is the most vivid organ, people's seven emotions and six desires can be revealed in the eyes. It's the same in reality. If we want to know a person's thoughts, we can understand them by looking into his eyes.

"Eyes are a barrier. The eye is the extension of the brain in the orbit. There are three-level neurons at the bottom of the eyeball, just like the cerebral cortex cells, which have the ability to analyze and synthesize. The changes of the pupil and the activities of the eyeball are directly controlled by the brain nerves, so the human feelings can naturally be reflected from the eyes

"Eyes twinkle, from the heart; eyes rise, strong attraction; eyes bright, on behalf of ideas; cold eyes, suspicious; eyes absent, lack of fighting spirit; eyes blink, infinite knowledge; wink, show charm; wink, pass secrets; top-down, high-profile look at people; stare at others, have other thoughts; dare not look at each other's eyes, self-confidence Look down, look down, look down first And so on. We should observe carefully when we get along with others... "

I'm deeply impressed by what she said. In the final analysis, this is the way to observe the psychological reaction of others, but what I know is not so detailed.

I said, "that makes sense. What else?"

She went on: "the movement of a person's hand is actually hidden. Generally speaking, when swearing in a solemn and serious occasion, you must clench your right hand and raise it to the right eyebrow level. Sometimes clenching one's fist in a speech or speech is to show the audience that I am powerful.

"But if you clench your fists in front of people with contradictions, it means: I won't be afraid of you. Do you want to taste my fists? From this point of view, clenching your fist can bring strength and security. On the other hand, people who always clench their fists may also feel insecure.

"Some people have summed up such rules: fist clenched, the heart may lack a sense of security; cross fingers, is to hide the true thoughts of the heart; hands crossed in front of the chest, this is a challenging posture; when speaking, the palms spread out, that is honest and reliable; ten fingertips touch each other in a sharp tower shape, that is self-confidence; two hands twisted and cross fingers, that is helpless;"Most of the people who like to pull their hair have distinct personalities; they use fingertips to touch their lips and bite their nails to represent inner uneasiness; those who gaze at each other first and then shake hands want to have an advantage in psychology; those who try hard to shake each other's hands back are warm; those who shake hands vigorously are arbitrary; those who shake hands moderately and look at each other are trustworthy."

I said: "that's very reasonable. It's actually a part of behaviorism. It reflects a person's inner psychology."

She said, "yes! When I was in college, I took behavior In addition, a person's sitting, standing and walking also convey his inner thoughts. Some people like to fork their hands on their waists. Whether they sit up in an office chair for a long time or talk to friends, they are used to fork their hands on their waists. Some people even don't forget to cross their waist when they walk. When they walk, they lean forward with their hands on their waist, just like a sprinter. These people are often people who do things with great explosive power.

"In addition, people who like to walk with their hands akimbo are usually acute. They always hope to finish their work in the shortest time. This kind of person has very strong explosive power, when deciding to carry out the next step plan, often has the action of fork waist. What's more, when you walk with your head up and chest straight, you often think highly of yourself; when you walk with a lot of grace, you are calm and calm; when you walk slowly and hesitantly, you are weak; when you walk leisurely, you are lack of initiative

"People who walk and jump are naive and lively; people who often shake their heads are full of self-confidence; people who laugh and talk are kind and humane; people who sit with open legs and casual posture usually speak more than they act; people who sit with legs close together and hands crossed on both sides of their thighs are more rigid; people who sit down suddenly are mostly uneasy; people who sit in deep chairs are more comfortable, They are arrogant and conceited; they stand with a bent posture, a lack of sense of responsibility; they like to put their hands in their pockets when they stand, and they are thoughtful; when they stand, their arms are crossed, representing the sense of challenge and attack; when they walk fast, they have firm goals.

"And to observe a person's speech. Zeng Guofan believes that everyone's voice, like the Qi of Yin Yang and five elements between heaven and earth, can be divided into clear and turbid. The clear voice is light and rises, while the turbid voice is heavy and falls. The sound starts from Dantian, makes a sound in the throat, changes to the tongue, changes to the clear and turbid in the teeth, and finally goes out through the lips. All these are closely coordinated with the five tones of Gong, Shang, Jiao, Zheng and Yu.

"When you recognize a person, you have to listen to his voice to identify his unique features, which may not be completely consistent with the five tones, but as long as you hear his voice, you will think of him, so you will know him by hearing his voice, so you don't have to see his true features to see whether he is an English talent or a mediocre talent.

"Generally speaking, there are some rules: those who often clear their throats may be hiding their emotions; those who speak like firecrackers are mostly lack of scheming; those who speak slowly are more assertive; those who speak at a high volume are more rugged; those who often groan are the embodiment of psychological vulnerability; those who chatter endlessly are more fond of flattery; those who speak unclearly and slowly are more willful Those who are good at using humor to deal with deadlocks are quick witted; those who speak absolutely are narcissistic

"Those who like to use the first person have a strong desire to express themselves; those who often say" so say "tend to take credit alone; those who often say" yes "tend to be tactful; those who often say" this "tend to be cautious; those who often say" fact "tend to be stubborn and willful; those who often ridicule others are jealous; those who are good at self mockery are broad-minded; those who can take the initiative to apologize are rational and magnanimous; Those who are loud on the phone are eager to express themselves; those who are unwilling to talk about themselves are mostly self abased

"Those who are good at compliments are more tactful; those who often use polite words are more humble; those who like to speak dialects are more affectionate; those who speak succinctly are more forthright; those who speak illogically are less organized; those who like to complain are more relaxed than hardworking; those who like to inquire about other people's secrets are more willing to control their desires; those who often boast in front of their subordinates are mostly unable to adapt to their posts; and those who often talk in front of their subordinates are not suitable for their posts Those who gossip behind other people's backs are usually very critical; those who are used to praising others will not offend others easily; those who are too modest often hide their true thoughts

"Those who always like to ask questions may want to take the initiative; those who have a rising mouth tend to be eloquent; those who like to cover their mouth with their hands tend to be introverted; those who don't answer the phone in time tend to be more self-centered; those who don't call every minute tend to be more selfish; those who answer the phone tend to be more thoughtful and emotional; those who only start looking for notes in the middle of the phone talk tend to be flexible . Well What else? I can't remember. That's all

I read what she said, and I was stunned: "you You're too thorough in your research, aren't you

She sent a smiling face: "I'm not telling you, I took behavioral studies in College I can't tell you how to make the best of observation, because I don't know. Even if I do, I don't want to tell you. I can only tell you my understanding of observation

"To tell you the truth, it's tiring to spend your energy on observing the leaders or opponents every day I don't agree with you focusing on this However, I still wonder why you suddenly asked this question tonight... "

So I told her about drinking with them tonight, and then told him all the process and details of the wine shop, including what Su Dingguo and I said on the way back.

When I finished, she was silent.She always said, "this person in the Tang Dynasty Alas His speech has always been so out of proportion. He is more open-minded after drinking than before In fact, he has a very good character. He usually does a good job and speaks with restraint. However, as soon as he drinks, he can't count He has a lot to say today, which is really wrong However, the words have been spoken out and can't be taken back. "

I said: "listen to Su Dingguo's tone, it seems that it should be ok At most, it's just a slip of the tongue after drinking. "

She was silent again for a moment and said, "I tell you, in officialdom, there is such an operation If you want to do something, you will skillfully use the intention of others to transform into a higher leader, and then use the hands and power of the higher leader to achieve your goal. In this way, you will neither become the object of suspicion nor be retaliated. It's called "borrowing an arrow from a straw boat" or "killing people with a knife."

After reading this passage, I was thrilled.