My Beloved Oppressor

The bleeding stopped on the fourth day. After draining all the by-products, she thought it was really over.

At Heiner’s request, the doctor checked the medications Annette had been taking. The doctor’s expression as he examined the medications was not very good.

“Ummm …… Synagel is a banned drug for pregnant women to take in the early stages. The doctors usually make it clear if you are pregnant when they prescribe it. Has your doctor ever mentioned the possibility of pregnancy? The symptoms you mentioned are common in pregnant women……… and your menstruation also stopped.”

“No such word specifically ……”

“Hmmm, I see. First, I will prescribe a nerve stabilizer different from this one. The effects will be mild and long lasting.”

Annette nodded. The doctor, who had written something on a form, handed her the prescription.

“And if you take a lot of medicine, you may end up with an overdose headache. The same goes for headache medicine. Do not exceed the durations and dosage written here.”

“Yes.”

She just learned that she had taken a drug that was forbidden to pregnant women, but surprisingly, she had no feelings about it.

The accident didn’t go well, as if there was a malfunction somewhere in her body, to be precise.

Annette was unable to regain her fuzzy spirit even when the doctor laid out the explanation of the medications she was taking and left the hospital room.

“…the doctor.”

Heiner’s cracked voice broke the silence.

“Let’s change your primary physician.”

Annette slowly turned her head to look at Heiner.

Their eyes of different temperatures met. Heiner stared at her, not moving slightly, like a person who didn’t even breathe. Eventually, Annette slowly shook her head.

“There is no need for that.”

“How many times has he been seeing you and not noticed that you were pregnant?”

“It’s all right.”

“What do you mean it’s all right?”

Heiner asked back in a rather sharp tone. There was a faint hint of anger beneath his pretty face. It was an unfamiliar expression.

Annette thought he was overreacting. She didn’t really care about anything. She didn’t need any more doctors anyway.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, so…”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”

Annette swallowed the sigh that was trying to escape.

She really didn’t want to fight Heiner anymore. Not because she was concerned about her relationship with him, but because she was just tired of draining her mental energy with meaningless arguments.

“Why do you care?”

Annette turned her head, pressing her throbbing temple with her fingers.

“…if you want to change it, change it. You’re going to do whatever you want anyway.”

Her voice was full of tiredness. Heiner’s lips were pressed into a thin line and said nothing. An unreadable gaze gathered over Annette’s face.

The second hand on the pocket watch chimed regularly. An inertial silence hovered between them. After a while, he spoke up.

“Doctor Arnold is examining not only you, but also me and  the servants of the official residence, and I don’t want to hire someone who is not competent or dishonest……. regardless of you.”

His voice was softer than before. Annette kept her eyes on the edge of the bed and nodded absentmindedly. The atmosphere that had been tense gradually calmed down.

“…… Annette.”

Heiner called her, hesitating for a moment.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that………… Sincerely, whoever is responsible for this be held accountable. Legally and morally.”

‘Sorry ……’

His words sounded so strange. Heiner spoke as if he were consoling someone else who had nothing to do with him.

Annette couldn’t help but laugh out loud. She would rather him not saying anything.

 At least it could have been a silly consolation that he was taking this job as his own.

How much more must she expect and how much more must she be disappointed? She had been utterly disappointed in him for the past three years that she didn’t think she could expect any more.

He regretted it.

He was sorry.

Annette had no idea what to make of such cheap sympathy. She wanted to despise him, she wanted to be angry with him, and at the end of the day, everything felt empty.

He was the kind of man who would look at her death with an unchanged face and say, “Too bad.” Or at all relieved. Annette chose to change the subject instead of questioning him about it.

“When will I be discharged?”

“When you want.”

“I want to as soon as possible.”

“You still need to recover. You still haven’t finished your psychological consultation…”

“I told you I don’t need a consultation. And I’ll call the doctor to the official residence.”

Annette spoke in a firm tone. Her voice was colder than when she spoke of divorce.

In the past three years, Annette had never given a similar order to Heiner.

She was just terrified of not going against his will in the slightest.

Despite her past living as the most prosperous person in the capital, Annette was not comfortable with using the servants. So calling the doctor to the official residence was something she would have said in the past.

 “……”

 “Why not?”

“Let’s do the …… treatment.”

Heiner answered after a few moments of silence. His gaze touched Annette’s fingers. Annette followed his gaze and looked down. A rough voice descended over her head.

“Where did your ring go?”

For a moment Annette could not understand his words.

“…… yes?”

“Your ring.”

Heiner eyed her ring finger. Annette let out an Ah sound belatedly. The ring finger of her left hand was empty.

‘Should I make the excuse that I left it off because it was inconvenient?’

But there was no reason to make excuses in a situation where she had already requested a divorce. After a few moments of thinking, Annette calmly replied.

“I just took it off.”

“Just?”

“It doesn’t make sense to wear it now.”

Annette thought that Heiner 

would demand an explanation. Because lately he had been quite sensitive to every single one of her actions.

Unexpectedly, however, Heiner said nothing more. Staring at her empty ring finger for a moment, he then turned his head.

 “…… rest.”

***

The doctor said there would be no problem if she was discharged immediately. It was not a serious gunshot wound and she was now mostly recovered.

The discharge procedure proceeded rapidly. The fact of the miscarriage did not leak out, but the incident and the hospital where she was staying at the time were described in detail in the newspaper.

“We couldn’t prevent the incident from spreading.”

Heiner said, as if in an excuse. However, Annette did not think he should have gone through the trouble for her in the first place.

‘Are being bitten by the public different from actually having one’s safety threatened?’

Annette thought numbly and put on her black brimmed hat. Even her dress and shoes were black, making her look like a woman going to a funeral.

Annette slightly pulled back the curtain. The light, dotted with the shadows of raindrops on the windowpane, reflected on the back of her hand.

It was raining outside. Round umbrellas hovered at the entrance of the hospital. It was the reporters who had come to wait for her.

Warmthless gaze scanned the group. Behind her, she heard a knock at the door. Annette answered, still looking out the window.

“Yes.”

The door rattled open. A quiet voice echoed behind her.

“I’ve already taken all your stuff to the car. Let’s go.”

Annette finally released her hand from the curtain. The hem of the curtains covered the window glass, glazing it with a pale white light.

She turned around, grabbed her bag on the bed, and left the hospital room. The four attendants followed her in front and back.

“If the reporters gather, don’t say anything.”

Heiner, who was walking alongside her, whispered softly. Annette looked up at him.

“They have been waiting impatiently to catch anything. Don’t even give a simple answer.”

Because of the difference in height, only his sharp jawline and firm lips were visible in Annette’s field of vision. Under the bluish hallway lighting, he looked like a large ghost.

“Did you understand?”

” …I understand.”

Annette lowered her head again and replied automatically.

A cold silence hung in the air while they rode down in the elevator for only nobles. Annette pulled down the black veil of her hat. Her fingers began to tremble slightly.

The elevator arrived at the first floor and beeped an announcement. As they entered the lobby through the aisle, the eyes of the people in the building were suddenly focused on her.

The lobby, oddly quiet, felt foreign. Annette kept her eyes on the tips of her shoes and concentrated only on moving with a straight gait. The sound of her heels echoed desolately.

The attendant in the front reached for the entrance door. Annette’s shoulders stiffened with nervousness and fear.

The moment the door opened, the sound of rain and chaos came with it. Camera’s flashes burst through the rain.

“She’s out!”

“Turn on the lights!”

“Please look this way!”

“Is it the madam’s will that your medical record be kept private?”

“Do you have any reason to think that this shooting was due to a grudge?”

“Do you have any intention of doing interviews?”

The questions, thrown like shouts, rang in her eyes. The attendants blocked the gathering of reporters. A thin bony knot formed on the back of Annette’s hand as she gripped the strap of her bag like a lifeline.

Heiner guarded Annette, almost hugging her. His familiar scent hit her nostrils.

But Annette could not feel at all secure. For a time, she even hoped that these large arms would protect her.

But now that she thought about it, it was impossible to wish for his protection from the start.

Wouldn’t it be better if she just covered her eyes so she couldn’t see anything?

Shards of broken light bulbs crushed under her heels. Every time the camera flash went off, there was a popping sound.

“…Are you in a secret relationship?”

“…in the course of the statement…………”

“…madam!”

In the midst of the commotion, a sharp voice suddenly pierced her ears.

“Madam Valdemar!”

***