My Beloved Oppressor

Ansgar asked, pretending to know nothing.

“Has it been long since you went out?”

 “…… umm, kinda.”

“It’s really winter out there already. It feels good to get out once in a while and go for a walk and get some fresh air.”

“I like to walk too. Remember before? After eating, I always went around the garden like a merry-go-round.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. No wonder my feet always hurt when I see you.”

“It’s because you lack exercise.”

 “That’s not what I want to hear from you right now.”

Annette covered her mouth with her hand and laughed. Ansgar chuckled. Eventually her laughter slowly subsided.

Annette dropped her hand  and spoke with a face still full of laughter.

“Ansgar, I’m sorry.”

Ansgar stiffened slightly at her apology. Soon he replied with a wry smile on his lips.

“What do you have to be sorry for me about?”

“….”

“Still ……… you should have told me it was hard.”

Annette silently lowered her eyes. In fact, ever since she had met Ansgar again, she had never once trusted him as a friend.

At first, she thought that Ansgar’s reason for visiting her was also for the purpose of gaining power to restore the monarchy, nothing more and nothing less. That view had not changed.

“Sorry……”

So this wasn’t her word to him as a friend.

“I’m really sorry.”

It was just because she couldn’t give him what he wanted.

Ansgar’s reasons for wanting to bring her to France were obvious. To carry on the royal bloodline, or to increase its numbers.

Annette did not know exactly how many of the exiled royalty were still alive. But of the women, at least, she would be the closest to the bloodline, or comparable.

“Annette, I’m so sorry…” 

Ansgar took Annette’s hand. His hand was warmer, even though he was outside and she had been inside all along.

“Come with me to France.”

“…..”

“I won’t ask you anything about why you didn’t tell me or why you even made that choice. I won’t blame you for anything. Don’t think any more of bad thoughts….just go to France with me. Why did you make that choice when there are better options?”

His voice was gentle. Annette  clasped her hands together and calmly looked into Ansgar’s eyes. His golden light brown eyes were completely filled with her.

Even if Ansgar’s proposal was not purely a favor, France might be better than here, as he said. Even if she was an unwelcome presence in France.

In fact, it would be better anywhere than Padania. For Annette, Padania was hell.

“Ansgar, I…….”

Annette spoke slowly. Ansgar waited patiently for her words. She spoke slowly but without hesitation.

“I can’t go with you.”

Ansgar’s eyes grew wide. Annette said again with conviction this time.

“I can’t follow you, Ansgar.”

“…May I ask why?”

“I know why you are trying to take me to France. It’s because I have royal blood, right?”

Ansgar’s pupils shook for a moment. Annette smiled faintly.

“Did you think I didn’t know that?”

 “Annette, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m really here for you…..”

“I know.”

Annette cut him off softly and removed his hand.

“I know, Ansgar. In fact, it doesn’t matter if you have other agendas. Anything would be better than here.”

“Yes, I swear I will help you wholeheartedly, Annette, and I will help you live a happier life.”

“I’m infertile.”

Annette spoke quietly in a very plain tone, as if she were conveying a routine. Ansgar’s face hardened.

“I cannot carry on the royal bloodline.”

“…what ……”

“If you wish, I can bring my doctor in to confirm it for you. I am infertile and my reputation is rock bottom so I am not worth much as a royal symbol. I appreciate that you’ve come this far, but…”

“Wait a minute, Annette.”

Ansgar waved his hand with a puzzled expression. Annette looked up at him with her mouth closed.

 Ansgar slurred. He scratched the back of his head as if bewildered, stared at Annette for a moment, and let out a short sigh.

“I understand what you mean. So you, no, I…” (Ans)

Annette took over out of consideration for the man who had found it difficult to withdraw the offer he had made himself.

“I don’t care if you don’t take me to France. I was never going to join the monarchy’s restoration forces anyway.” (A)

“…… huh. Annette, I’ll be honest about how this happened.”

Ansgar resumed his posture and brought his face close to hers. Annette nodded expressionlessly. It really didn’t matter what he said.

“First of all, your thoughts are not wrong. It is true that the monarchy retro forces needed you, and it is also true that the higher-ups sent me to Padania. Connecting the royal bloodline……… I really hate to say it out of my own mouth, but yes, yes it is.”

Ansgar explained carefully, as if very sorry. But Annette was not interested at all, since she had expected all of this. It wasn’t that she resented him in any way.

“But that’s really not the only reason why I came to see you. So just because you’re infertile… I’m not going to cancel my offer to take you to France.”

“…Why?”

She didn’t understand. She was useless to him. Annette shook her head.

“You have no reason to take me.”

“Why not?”

Ansgar frowned and opened and closed his mouth as if slightly annoyed. Eventually he sighed.

“Don’t you know that I liked you?”

She knew. There was no way she could not have known. In the past, Ansgar had courted Annette for quite some time. His courtship continued for some time even after she started a relationship with Heiner.

Annette did not particularly respond to his confession. She merely counter-questioned him nonchalantly and a little curious.

“But Ans. …… you didn’t really love ‘me’, did you?”

He loved Annette herself, but he also loved what made her that much more. Status, power, wealth, glory, fame, dignity, position……… What Annette once had.

And all that had disappeared now.

“I have nothing more to give you.”

“No, Annette. Even without such things……I still want you as ever.”

‘He wants me.’

The words sounded strange for some reason. Annette was silent for a moment with her eyes downcast, but after a few beats she asked.

“Do you want to marry me?”

“That….”

There was a short pause after the broken word. Ansgar continued with his characteristic good-natured smile.

“Of course. But the issue of your divorce still remains, and I’ve just been divorced, so let’s take our time and think about it.”

“…… Yeah?”

Annette nodded, as if she understood, but with a subtle, nonchalant look on her face.

“Anyway, it’s hard to decide right away. First of all, I understand what you mean, thank you Ans for thinking of me until the end.”

“So, what’s your answer? I’d like to hear your answer—“

Ansgar seemed impatient and asked again. Annette looked at him quietly. His pale eyes were still those of his youth.

“Come with me.”

Ansgar had a talent for putting others at ease. With him, they could just laugh and talk and play without thinking.

That was why Annette really liked Ansgar as a friend. It was a long time ago that she could never go back. She slowly parted her lips.

“I……”

***

“Now I want you to stop requesting meetings.”

A low voice halted Ansgar’s steps as he was leaving the official residence. In the hallway corner on the first floor, Heiner stared at him coldly with his arms crossed.

“I’m telling you not to use your power unnecessarily because everything will be rejected from now on.”

Ansgar snickered. “What right do you have to refuse Annette’s visits?”

“By the right of being her husband.”

“Can you say that a husband who drives his wife to suicide is a husband?”

“Currently, Annette is in an unstable state of mind. The doctor also said we have to reduce external stimuli as much as possible, so this is also a measure for the patient’s benefit.” (H)

“I told you. I said I would help Annette get a court-ordered divorce. Let’s see if you can say that after the divorce.” (Ans)

“Well.” With a cold smile on his face, Heiner tilted his head. “If you can win.”

“Annette is going to divorce you and leave for France.”

“…and she agrees?”

“What do you think? Isn’t that a hundred times better than rotting here?”

Ansgar smirked uncharacteristically. Heiner, who was half leaning against the wall, straightened his body.

“If you intend to use her for the restoration of the monarchy, forget the idea.”

Heiner said angrily, even knowing that Ansgar might leak the information to the outside world.

“Because she is incapable of having children.”

“I know.”

“…What?”

“I know, you bastard. Well, did you think I’d go back to France by myself if I heard that?”

Even though it was a fact that he had just heard the news from Annette, Ansgar acted as if he had known for a long time. The light in Heiner’s gray eyes became dull.

***