My Beloved Oppressor

The officer led Annette to the backyard of the church. It was also the place currently used as a mass for military material.

“Please go inside.”

The officer stopped at the back door and said, illuminating the path with a flashlight. Annette looked at the white light projected by the cone for a moment, then stepped into it.

The backyard was dark and empty. An untidy, overgrown patch of grass grazed the hem of her dress as she passed.

She passed through a narrow alleyway and came to a small clearing. Moonlight dimly illuminated it. Annette stopped just inside the shadowy border of the grass.

A tall figure stood in the middle of the clearing, bathed in pale moonlight.

The surface of his black hair and coat appeared white. All the lines of the man were opaque, as if shrouded in fog.

Feeling a presence, Heiner slowly turned his head. Annette stood firm in her place, staring at him as if she were a small animal facing the hunter.

Their gazes collided in midair.

Instantly, Heiner’s expression faltered.

It was such a small change that she wondered if it was an illusion. It was as if a thin layer of skin had peeled off, like a sandcastle slowly being eroded by the waves………..

For a brief moment, Annette felt as if she had peered deep within him.

But when she blinked, the subtle change vanished. Heiner looked just as usual, the cold, indifferent face.

He was the first to move his feet when Annette did not move from her original position. The sound of grass rustling under his hard military boots was heard in the dark silence.

A distinctive broad, imposing body approached. Annette looked at him with an unfamiliar face, as if she were facing a stranger.

Suddenly, Heiner slowly reached out. Annette reflexively tried to retreat, but stopped. His hand did not reach her. Heiner gently opened his mouth, keeping his hand in the air like someone who didn’t know what he was about to do.

“Your face…” (H)

“…”

“On your cheek, a wound.” (H)

His fingertip went to her left cheek. Annette finally became aware of the scratch on her face today. The wound wasn’t that deep and was only covered with medicine.

Annette covered her left cheek with  her hand and stepped back. Then Heiner withdrew his hand as well. She responded somewhat defensively.

“I just got scratched.”

“Where did you get scratched?”

“At work.”

“While working?”

“Never mind it.”

Heiner seemed a little taken aback at her clerical manner. An awkward silence fell. He stared at Annette quietly for a moment and then spoke blandly.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

It seemed to be just a word of surprise, a reprimand. Annette asked as if to point out his contradiction.

“Wasn’t it Your Excellency’s order 

that I was moved here?”

Heiner’s eyebrows furrowed at the title that came out of her mouth. After a brief interval, he asked back.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because there is no way that upper management should be involved in the position of a single service nurse from a civilian background.”

“You make it sound like you’re not happy about it.”

“Please withdraw the order. If there is no proper reason, I would like to return.”

“Do you want to go back…?”

“Yes.”

“To the frontline?”

“Yes.”

“What is it that you want?”

“Huh?”

Annette raised her eyebrows at the sudden question. Heiner repeated the same words.

“What is it that you want?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“That you volunteered as a military nurse, yes, let’s say that is understandable. But is there a reason why you want to be on the frontline? Have you forgotten what you promised on the condition that I divorce you?”

“What promise are you referring to?”

A heavy silence descended at the end of Annette’s question. Heiner’s face, which had gradually hardened the longer the dialogue continued, now looked as if he was angry.

“…to live.”

His voice was suppressed by something.

“You said you would live.”

 “Tell me that if we divorce, you will live.” (Past)

“You promised me that.”

“Please answer me, Annette….” (past)

The precarious words that seemed to collapse at any moment overlapped.

A subtle confusion came over Annette’s face as she finally remembered that promise.

She had never considered it. No, she had never even thought of it as a “promise” that had to be kept in the first place.

Even after the divorce, Annette was still contemplating her death. And now quite some time had passed. The promise Heiner was talking about had absolutely no effect on Annette.

Heiner’s eyes narrowed as he read the emotion in her vague expression. Eventually, he let out a dejected laugh.

Heiner murmured bitterly.

“You didn’t remember that promise from the beginning, did you?”

“…”

“…I was the only one who believed it like an idiot, again.”

Annette didn’t know what the hell he meant. To say that he was angry because she couldn’t remember that promise, their relationship was really nothing anymore.

Her heart kept getting confused. She tried to eliminate as many emotional facts as possible and only make objective statements.

“Sir, first of all, I don’t think it is necessary for you to understand why I volunteered for the frontline. Moreover, not only do I not think that the promise is valid……….”

“Don’t you think it’s really convenient logic to judge the validity of mutually discussed promises on your own?”

“Even if it were valid, Your Excellency has no authority to participate in my right to life and death decisions. Then as now.”

“I have no authority to do so now.”

Heiner chuckled in amazement. Annette ignored him and spoke clearly.

“Also, I am not dead yet. I have never intended to die here. But why are you telling me I didn’t keep that promise?”

“I heard that you recklessly ran out alone to bring supplies in a barrage of bullets.”

Annette gave a small jerk at that. She didn’t know where on earth he knew it all from. Heiner mockingly told her.

“At least one thing is certain. Your life is not a priority for you at all.”

“…I’m a member of the military staff here. You can’t criticize me for risking my life for my country.”

Annette’s words clearly indicated their distance. The Commander-in-Chief and the Servicemen’s Staff, that was all there was to it.

“I am not sure why Your Excellency is telling me this in the first place. You don’t have to know if I’m dead or alive. If this was what you wanted to say, I would like to go back now.”

“Stop being a field nurse.”

“Unless there is another reason.”

“You’ve done enough. Now go back to Lancaster.”

“…Unless you have a reason, I hope you won’t interfere with my place of employment.”

“There will be another battle in the near future.”

Annette paused and stared at him. Heiner said unreservedly, his peculiarly sharp eyes tightening.

“It is a great thing that you served on the Western Front. Apart from the circumstances, I want to thank you for your service and dedication. You can stop now and go home.”

“…Your Excellency.”

“Tomorrow there will be a transport train heading towards Dornante. Please join me there.”

“…Sir.”

“I heard that a journalist has visited you. I’ll take care of the article problem in your favor… ”

“Your Excellency!”

“Please!”

Suddenly, a rough voice boomed from Heiner. A sudden silence followed. Both of them glared at each other with stubborn expressions.

It was Heiner who opened his mouth again first.

“Please…… listen to me.”

“…”

“I’m not asking you to do anything harmful; I just want you to go somewhere safe. I’m telling you I’ll clean up everything. So….”

“If it is an order as Commander-in-Chief, I will obey it. But what you are saying now, Your Excellency, is hardly an order from a superior military officer.”

“It doesn’t matter which way you take it.”

 “Please treat me as a military personnel. No, if you treat me as at least one human being, you cannot do this.”

At these words, a strange light drifted over Heiner’s face. Annette questioned him with clenched fists.

“Again, Your Excellency, all this time you’ve been talking as if I came here to die. I have no intention of dying myself. That’s fine then, isn’t it?”

“I have seen your record. I don’t know if this is a new way to kill yourself or not.”

“…It’s a pointless argument.”

Annette turned her head wearily. The cold night air flowed between them. Heiner looked at her with eyes full of emotions and said.

“Is this all meaningless to you?”

“….”

“No, did I ever mean anything to you in the first place?”