My Beloved Oppressor

****

Annette couldn’t believe her ears for a moment. It was obvious who the wood-like man he was referring to was, but for some reason she just couldn’t make the connection.

“You mean Heiner ……..?”

“Well, then, who do you think it would be?”

“…that person and me….”

“Yes, he must have feelings for Miss Rosenberg. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you when you passed by. It was the first time I’d seen him do that.”

Elliott chuckled, but Annette couldn’t even force a smile.

“When I told him to ask you out, he told me to stop taking nonsense, but he ended up marrying you. I’ve always wondered how in the world did that wooden bastard ask you out?”

“…… you, when did you end the operation and return to France?”

“Huh Hmmm— I think it was the beginning of 713.”

At that time, it was before she had even met Heiner for the first time in the rose garden. Had he known her before?

Certainly this made sense p, since he had approached her deliberately from the beginning.

But regardless of whether Elliot’s words were true or not, she could not be considered an important person to Heiner at the moment.

If she died, she should no longer be in his way. Annette spoke matter-of-factly, as if she didn’t mean much.

“He must have been interested in me. Because that person had a purpose for me from the beginning. After the revolution, he didn’t even think about hiding his true face.”

“Ah, the revolution. That’s right. And while we’re on the subject, why is it that you and him still stayed married for three years?”

“It must be because of reputation.”

“Reputation? What good is a reputation if you live with the daughter of Marquis Dietrich?”

“Because he couldn’t force me out. Because I …… because I did not accept the divorce.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Haha, because Miss Rosenberg was holding up in the official residence.

I guess you didn’t have any pride, either.”

Pride……

It was a strange word. At one point, she didn’t even think of it as something she had to keep.

Just because of course “it was something to be protected”.

“Right.”

Annette murmured, looking a little far away.

‘Why?’

The scorched treetops were shrouded in mist. The blackened trees looked precarious as if it would break if touched.

She suddenly felt a gaze on her and lifted her head. Elliot was staring at her. He said with a grin.

 “Let’s walk.”

Borrowing a light from a French soldier on patrol, he put a second cigar in his mouth. She always thought that soldiers on the battlefield were 100 percent serious addicts.

“So how has he been?” (Elliot)

“Just well ……”

“Well?”

Annette answered somewhat mechanically.

“The revolution was a success, he became commander-in-chief, and  lived a prosperous life with all the respect and love of the people. Don’t you agree?”

“Oh dear, I meant the more personal part. What you said I can see in the newspaper.”

 “If it’s his personal…………”

“I meant his happiness. I thought he was going to be unhappy for the rest of his life. So I promised him. I’m going to be very happy.”

Elliot’s face did not seem to show any concern or worry as he said this. Annette couldn’t help but ask.

“…..What made you think that? That person would be unhappy.”

“Well, there are many reasons. For one, the goals and the life he lived  didn’t make him happy, that he wasn’t particularly willing to be happy, and most of all, he hit rock bottom in his life.”

“What the —?”

“Didn’t he go on a rampage to kill all the French bastards?”

A puff of cigarette smoke followed Elliot’s laughter. Annette shook her head slowly without reply.

“So you’re saying you don’t know if your husband lived happily ever after?”

He didn’t seem particularly happy.

She answered Elliott as if she didn’t know much about Heiner, but the truth was that Heiner was someone who could pretend to be happy even when he wasn’t. So it was pointless to judge him based on appearances alone.

That said, she did not want to tell 

Elliott everything. There would be nothing good to come out of it.

 “So, then he never talked about his friends? Doesn’t know if they’re are alive or dead.”

“……in passing…”

“Hm? Then do you know what exactly Heiner did for the Marquis and why he hates him?”

“….”

“Miss Rosenberg, you don’t know anything about your ex-husband, do you?”

Annette barely concealed her agitation. It seemed that every question she heard about him made her mouth dry up. Elliott said suspiciously.

“I thought you should know the story of his past, even if you don’t know the rest of it. After all, this whole thing happened because of your father. Didn’t Heiner tell you? No.”

“….”

“Miss Rosenberg, have you ever asked your husband properly?”

Annette hid her trembling hands behind her skirt. She didn’t ask. She knew she shouldn’t have asked. Because the moment she found out, they would be stuck in pain forever.

How far had she escaped with that thinking?

Elliot sucked deeply from his cigar while staring somewhere in the air. He exhaled the smoke like a sigh and gave a small click of his tongue.

“I don’t think it’s really for me to tell, but now that you’re divorced, it doesn’t look like you and him will be seeing each other again.”

“…”

“I have a personal feeling about Marquis Dietrich, too. Apart from Heiner, I hope Miss Rosenberg gets to know the man properly.”

She felt as if the fog around them was slowly dissipating. But still the distant vision was blurred.

“It’s a long story.”

Annette stepped into the fog.

***

There was a time when he was going to stop. He had to stop visiting her.

He had to stop gazing at her from afar. In fact, he thought about it constantly. Every time he stepped into a place and realized that it was a quagmire from which he could not get out, Heiner promised and swore to stop all this.

Graduating from the training camp and becoming an official soldier was a different matter. It was the same when it came to getting all the honors one could enjoy as a trainee graduate.

His soul would be imprisoned on this island until he died.

There would be nothing more miserable than hoping to see that shining star in the dark and persistent muck. So he must stop. There was a time when he thought so.

That was the day.

The instructor kicked him with his foot, and his abdomen, bruised bright blue, ached every time he moved. It was because he had been beaten while trying to stop an instructor who had assaulted a fellow student.

This, and that was because Heiner had caught the Marquis’ eyes. 

The motive for the dozens of assaults on his face and body gained permanent disability.

A trainee who could not move was of no use. All the beating here was done by classmates who had been trained together. He was fast, strong, and quiet. There was no particular reason for them to bully him. The instructor was in a bad mood that day and Heiner was at the end of his luck. That was all.

He was used to losing his motivation. But Heiner intuited that the bloody scene that filled his eyes would forever remain in his memory.

His life would sink with this sad memory. Like garbage buried at the bottom of the deep sea.

So Heiner thought again that day. He had to stop all this. He really had to stop all this and never come here again.

Never again.

The boy walked briskly into the garden, supported by a strange will. There was a crackling sound from the ground. Then he stopped at the sound of sobbing that he suddenly heard.

A little girl, like a small animal, was sitting in the corner of a flower bed. Her fancy dress and long, neatly braided blonde hair suggested at first glance that she was of a high status.

Reflexively, Heiner hid behind a tree and watched her. She was sobbing sadly with her face in her lap.

For the first time in his life, Heiner froze hard at the sight of her tears, which he thought he would never see again.

What was so sad was that she cried so sorrowfully. Seeing her small back swaying thinly, he felt a painful sensation deep in his chest.

”Why ………?”

Why was she crying here, leaving her big, fancy room? Why was she here alone, not seeking warmth from anyone?

Were there things that were difficult for her to endure?

Was there something heartbreaking for her too?

Did she too …… feel a little lonely?

It was a funny thought. The sadness she could imagine was only small and shallow.

Nevertheless, Heiner felt that she was crying for him. Even though he knew it couldn’t be true.

And so he could not leave.

He couldn’t approach to talk to her, or hug her and comfort her, but he stayed there for a long time.

***