My Career is Useless in this World!!

Episode 249- I would like a new identity

"Son…" Commander Guang Fu was at a loss. He was a mighty man who was capable of commanding the entire military units and was someone who was more powerful than the Great Nobles, however, at this moment, he was at a loss. In fact, anything that has to do with his son makes him feel at a loss. 

Guang Fu rested his palms on his face as he exhaled and inhaled slowly in an attempt to calm down. It took him almost a minute to calm down and when he did, he removed his hands. 

"Was Miss Eugeneia Veria that beautiful?" Commander Guang Fu asked his son with a raised brow.

"..." Guang Liqin turned to the Commander and only stared at him. He seemed to be in a deep thought before responding, "I don't know. I only glanced at her for one second."

"..." Commander Guang Fu blinked. 'And that was enough for you to start crying?' He wanted to shake his head at his son but he ceased. 

"Well, let's head on our way to the audience room because you didn't get a chance to fully see our all-rounded comrade of ours whose potential is as high as a sky." Commander Guang Fu turned and walked in the direction Eugene went in. Guang Liqin only followed after a few seconds. Instead of heading to the main entrance, they decided to take the back entrance, which was faster. 

The Emperor who heard his guard announcing the arrival of these two father and son again rolled his eyes and allowed them to come in. 

"Miss Eugeneia Veria is asking for an audience." Said one guard at the main entrance to the audience room. 

"..." The Emperor looked at Guang Fu and Guang Liqin, who didn't seem to want to leave the room and instead walked over to a screen to hide.

"..." The Emperor pursed his lips and wanted to roll his eyes again. He sighed softly before allowing the guard to let Eugene in. Though he and Guang Du weren't close, not as close as Duke Rodriguez and Duke Marleigh, Guang Fu was a trustworthy man whom he could trust anything with, even more than the Imperial knights who guards him day and knight. And the reason for this is because of all men in Xenperia, Commander Guang is the most disinclined and loyal. 

Though the Emperor didn't know why Guang Fu and his son, Guang Liqin had come back, he assumed it was for an important matter, however, the matter isn't as important enough to keep his other guests waiting which was why they hid. 

Eugene walked to the room politely and quietly. This was not the same room she had been in before. The Emperor normally held his meetings with the Great Noble in a room that was not very grand. However, this audience had a gold interior and even dragon carvings made of glass on two sides of the wall. Probably because there was a lot of money involved in this interior design, Eugene walked more carefully. She paused right before the mini stairs that separated her and the Emperor and brought her field cap down. 

"Greetings and Blessings, Your Highness, Emperor of Xenperia." She greeted with a lowered head. Her right hand was on the middle of her chest paying the utmost respect towards the Emperor. 

Emperor Zen smiled, "There is no need for such greetings between us." 

Eugene gave him a polite smile before straightening her back. She then glanced at the Emperor's two attendants and nodded at them in greeting. After that, she turned back to the Emperor and said,

"May I be frank, Your Highness?" She asked him. She did not want to talk in a roundabout, noble, way and wanted everything to be done and over it. She felt that it was a waste of time to give him some high aristocratic speech especially because the Emperor was her father's friend.

Emperor Zen chuckled, "Yes you may. I heard from Levis that you needed something. Whatever it is, I can grant it to you as I am essentially also part of your family." He said generously. He knew from Levis that Eugene had been cooped up in her room and appeared to be in a severe depression. He was devastated when he learned that because Eugene was not someone who succumbed to depression easily. Which meant that Euria's situation and her coma hit her very hard. But that didn't mean he was giving her a favor because of this; Even if Eugene wasn't depressed, he would still do her a favor. 

'Which is a strange thing.' Eugene thought to herself, 'Normally, Emperors would be in his head. And be a demanding person. However, when it came to the Great Nobles, the Emperor was too generous. As though he wanted to throw his high position away whenever he was with them.'

Eugene pursed her lips for a second before asking, "I would like a new identity."

Emperor Zen froze in his seat. His attendants, Guang Fu and Guang Liqin froze as well. This was a favor no one expected, in fact, they weren't sure if what they heard was right. 

"What do you want?" Emperor Zen furrowed his eyebrows as he repeated. His voice turned serious in an instant.

"I would like a new identity. A common identity only Your Highness, Emperor of Xenperia, and I know of." Eugene clarified. This was a decision she had made during her time inside her room for a month. Well, for the last few weeks to be precise. 

She wanted to be free of this shackle that made her unmotivated and not wants to do anything and to do that she had to start over. And to start over, she had to become someone new. And to become someone new, she needed a new identity no one would know. Of course, it would be hard getting an identity only she knew of by herself. And asking her family about this new identity would break their hearts, not to mention, they will know what her new identity was and that would defeat the purpose of having a new identity at all. 

She could have gone to 'The Guild', but there was a chance someone would find out sooner or later, not to mention, there was no way she could leave the house alone without anyone noticing. Hence, the only option was the Emperor. A person whose authority was high enough to give her a new identity 'legally', someone that no one could spy on if she asked for an audience, and someone who would be hard to investigate into. 

"... For what reasons?" The Emperor's voice was soft, almost whispering almost. 

"..." Eugene glanced at the floor for a good second. She thought for a second and glanced up. 

"... After the incident. I've lost my will completely. What I've lost isn't light as it had been my motivation for this past decade, and that is to become stronger in order to survive. But now… I don't feel that way anymore." Eugene's eyes moved to her palm that she spread open and continued after a pause, 

"Someone could attack me right now and I wouldn't defend myself. I wouldn't simply care. This is how I feel at this current moment. I don't know the reasons." She paused for a second, "Or it might be that our enemy is too strong, that I see no way of defeating her." She spoke as if it was a matter of fact, making the Emperor furrow his eyebrows. He has seen many knights in this state after resolving big incidents. Giving up, losing your purpose, losing interest in your daily life, self-loath, these were the symptoms of depression. 

He was silent for a while before speaking, "Do you think you are depressed?" He asked her. 

Eugene pursed the corner of her lips. His words hit her hard in a way indescribable. Maybe the dark hole that was continuously sucking her in was … depression. She answered after a minute, "I do not know Your Highness. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not."

"However, I know I can't go on like this. Even though I've lived my whole life wanting to survive, I don't mind dropping dead at this moment. This is wrong. It is something I can't do to my family." Eugene's eyes met with the Emperor's sad eyes. His eyes were sad and conveyed heartbreak. 

"Hence, the only thing I can do right now is to start over. I have to start over, to get back my life. To find my purpose. And to want to live." There was only determination in her voice as she spoke. 

"And you can't do that as Eugeneia Veria?" The Emperor asked. He paused for a second before asking again, "Do you think your decision will not make your parents sad?"

Eugene paused. Of course, she had thought that far. "I can't do it as Eugeneia Veria. Eugeneia Veria is a noble.. Someone part of the Great Noble of Xenperia.