My Ex is my Bestfriend

After the warm bath, Minho gave me ginger tea. And then we both huddled in front of the fireplace because it's getting colder.

I was focused on watching the fire, thinking of how to say it to him. And Minho, Minho's not saying anything. He's just looking at me, then stoking the fire, then back at looking at me. He's quiet but I can feel the pressure in it.

But I'm afraid. I don't know how to say it. I don't know where to start. And I'm not used to this because I'm not really a good sharer.

I sighed. Oh whatever. Here goes.

"Uh..."

Minho stared at me. I gulped. Scaryyyy.

"Uh, the thing you said earlier.. "

"Which one? The one where I told you to take a warm bath?" Oh he cut me off. Is he mad?

"No. Earlier than that?"

"That we're gonna talk? Well we're talking." Uh-oh. He really is mad.

"Yes well. Still earlier than that."

"Oh! You mean when we... You know.. In the room?"

"Yeah."

"So what about it?"

"The thing that you said it's wrong to do it?"

"Oh that. Well, honestly, I believe that sex should be done right after marriage. It's the greatest gift a man or a woman could ever give to his or her other half. I mean, how precious could it be if you give your first time to the one you're married with."

I sighed. "Ok. So what if you marry-"

"With you."

I choked. "Ehem okay. Let's just say you didn't know me. So, you married. And then, on the night of your honeymoon, she divulged to you that she's not a virgin anymore. What would you do?"

I looked at him expectantly. He moved his eyes down, and kept quiet for some time.

"Well, I-I don't think it matters anymore. I love her and I love her for all that she is, flaws and all. It will really be hard to accept but no matter, I will still love her."

My eyes welled up. Okay okay Cassidy, not yet. "Okay, so what if you knew about that lost virginity when you're still dating, or in the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? How would you react? What would you do?"

"Why these questions Cassidy? Something bothering you?"

Uh. "No, well yes. But just answer first Minho. Please."

"Uh okay. So regarding that situation, I really don't know." He sighed. "It's just, it's a far cry from my priciples in life. I vowed in my youth before that I would never marry someone tainted with some other guy."

I inhaled sharply at that. I was greatly offended. But what can I do, it's his opinion.

"But, if she's the one I truly love, I definitely would still love her. It's not her fault. We are all sinners, and sometimes we can't resist temptation. So, it won't matter. I will still love her more for being brave and honest that she told me about it."

I looked down. Should I tell him? But he said, he will love more. But will he accept me? I don't know if his love for me is enough to do that. But still, I have to do this. Better now than later.

I looked back at him, then, "Minho, I want to say..."

I took a deep breath, "I want you to know that I may be not as innocent as you think I am."

"I know 'cause we all have that fair share of badness."

"Yeah. And I've had sex with my boyfriend before. When we were still together." I covered my eyes, afraid of what expressions I would see in his.

But he pulled my hands away, and looked me straight in the eye. "So what?"

"You, you don't hate me?"

"I told you, it doesn't matter. If I truly love her, I'll love her. It's in the past now. And we're on to the future."

"You're not disgusted with me?"

"No. I'm just happy that you trusted me of your secret. It makes me feel so loved. So, no. Never. Never will I feel disgusted of you okay? Don't look down on yourself. You have done what you have felt is right."

I sobbed. Minho hugged me. "Minho, you don't really mind about it?"

He sighed and kissed my head. "Actually, I feel a little disappointed that I wasn't the first. But, what's done is done. I just have to accept it you know. But it won't change the fact that I love you."

I looked at him. "Your love wasn't subtracted or anything?"

"No. In fact, it's multiplying a thousand times every single day. And today, it's multiplied a million times even more."

I laughed and lightly spanked his shoulder. "Silly."

And then I looked at his eyes, those mesmerizing eyes. I want this man for myself. I want him so bad.

I moved closer and held the back of his head. He touched my cheeks as well.

"Minho," I whispered. "Will you mind if I do something bad to you?"

He answered, breathing heavily, "What bad thing?"

"Oh, I don't know." I inched closer until I sat on his lap.

"Cassidy, what are you trying to do?"

I smiled wickedly and rubbed myself into him. "Minho, will you hate me if I showed my bad side to you?"

"Cassidy, stop doing that, okay?"

"But I like this Minho." I leaned and whispered seductively on his ear, "Don't you like this Minho?"

I felt his hands hold my waist. Hmmm. I traced my fingers down his neck. I saw him close his eyes and then...

I was pinned down on the couch. Minho was on top of me. My hands were above my head, and Minho's pinning them down. There wast lust in his eyes; lust, hunger and and anger.

"Cassidy. Don't. Test. My. Patience!!"