My Ex is my Bestfriend

Minho sat across the couch on where I set up my laptop, where I currently sit right now. The ramen on the table in between us was still piping hot. I glanced at Minho, his face was unreadable. I'm afraid to initaite the conversation because I felt that he'd snap any second now. I am like a scared rat righr now. I just want to hide.

No! I have to steel myself. I brought this upon myself so I have to face this. I have to open it now to Minho or else, the situation would turn from bad to the worst.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Okay, here goes.

"Minho.."

I was stunned speechless by the cold look Minho gave my way when I opened my eyes.

Okay. Inhale. Exhale. Alright Cassidy, you can do this.

I glanced at him again. Gods, he is so scary right now. What made him this mad at me?

"Minho, what do you wanna talk about, really? Please tell me, so that I can tell you everything and that I can see you smile again. "

He sighed. "I'm sorry Cass. It's just...."

I waited for him to continue, but after seconds of silence, I decided to talk from the beginning.

"Okay, seeing you're not ready to talk, I'll start." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "So you know, I had a boyfriend before."

He nodded. Okay, let's put the cat out of the bag now and face Minho's wrath.

"My ex is Ethan."

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. "Ethan? The Ethan I saw in your apartment? The one you introduced to me as your best friend?"

He opened his eyes then, which were scorching with anger, which were directed at me. I can't really blame him, I lied.

I sat still, waiting for his onslaught, and he didn't fail me.

"Cassidy, why did you lie? Why hide the truth? Cassidy, I'm willing to accept your past, everything about it. If you could have been more honest to me." He pounded his chest. I could feel the hurt in his actions, in his eyes. "And to think I saw you both on that couch in your apartment, kissing....."

It was my turn to inhale sharply. He saw that, he really saw that.

"That really broke my heart Cassidy. I waited for your explanation, but you only gave me that best friend argument. And then he hugged you at the hospital. My patience was wearing thin then but you said you'd explain. So I waited patiently!"

I jumped at his loud outburst. My tears threatening to fall. But I really can't blame him. This is all my fault. My fault. My fault.

"And then, when I was traveling back here, I received Gina's text that you were with him! I snapped Cassidy, that was the last straw!"

I jumped again as he banged his hands on the table. I looked at him, my eyes pleading. "I can explain-"

"Tell me," he interrupted me. "Who do you love more, me or that Ethan?" He spat the name like it was some kind of poison.

I turned silent, contemplating. I was like a child scolded of a wrongdoing. But he was all right. He was all right on all points. I should have told him everything. I should have told him the truth. But we're on this situation now, so I should do my best to fix this.


But answering to his question, well I don't know what to say. I love both of them, but in a very different way.

"Answer me Cassidy!"

I jumped on my seat, for the third time today. I gulped. Okay Cassidy, just tell him the truth.

"Minho, I.... I love you. And I love Ethan too.." My voice trailed off, noticing the misunderstanding those phrases may lead.

"NO! You have to choose one!"

"Minho, I can't. I love you both, but in different ways. I love you as my boyfriend. Ethan, I love him as a friend, a best friend."

"No Cassidy. It's either me or Ethan?"

I was stunned. How can I choose? Ethan was a part of me, and now he is a good friend. He started accepting our status, and he's doing a good job in executing it. And Minho is my present, my future maybe. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Choosing between them is hard, but to hell with this, I'll give him my thoughts.

"Minho, I will always choose you. I choose you as the one I want to be with until I die. I choose you because I love you. But I can't unlove Ethan, as I can't unlove all my friends. To them, to Ethan, is a different kind of love. But to you, I'll give the greatest love I want to cherish."

"No! I want you to cut all ties with him!"

I blinked a few times. "Cut all ties?" I asked haltingly.

"Yes! I don't want you to talk to him ever again. Never ever."

"But Minho-"

"No buts. Either that, or you'll never see me again."

"Minho, that is a very hard thing to do. And even if I can, I won't do it. Because Ethan has been a part of my life. He helped me survive my college years, and now he needs someone to bring him back to the light. I can't just leave him in sadness and depression-"

"Must it be you? Doesn't he have other friends to do that? For God's sake, he's your ex!"

"And what if he is my ex? Why can't exes become friends? Huh? Tell me? We started off as friends, in the same circle. So, I guess we should naturally end up as friends. And for the record, we didn't end on a bad note. It was a mutual decision."

"Whatever Cassidy. I just can't help getting jealous. He was the one who took your virginity for f*ck's sake! I will hate him for that, always. He is the reason I got you like that!"

"Like what Minho? You don't like it that you had me when I wasn't a virgin anymore?"