My Four Other Selves

Zhang Yong was sleeping peacefully and now was deep in his dreams. 

>> The Dream: 

Zhang Yong was sitting in a jail cell and blinking his eyes continuously. He looked at his surroundings with confusion written all over his face. 

He didn't bother getting up for so long that he never even checked to see where the walls were and where exactly he was sitting. Just one thing he was sure of was that it was a jail cell. 

"Where am I?" Zhang Yong asked himself as he looked here and there. Even after trying to get what was happening he still wasn't able to get where he was. 

As soon as he asked himself the very next moment he heard screams from other cells and they paralyzed him from even getting up from the floor and trying to reach the door which was made of some rods. 

His head felt heavy like it was hurting badly. He held it with his hand and groaned with pain. Again he heard screams coming from outside. 

He was scared as hell but still, he tried to get up from the floor to see where he was.

Soon the brilliant light of dawn shone in, he stood up and put his hand on the bars. After so long crouched in the dark he stood up and let the light warm his skin, his hair flowing in a heavenly wind. 

With a prayer, he pushed with all his might and after a brief flash of pain, the prison cell itself was left behind him on a hill. 

From the outside, it was tiny, pathetic. 

Upon the walls written in stone were the words "fear" and "guilt." He threw his head toward the sky. 

"Where am I again?"

He looked at those words written in front of him. As he read those words and let himself register them inside his brain, he felt that he had a deep relation with those words, all he felt now was guilt and fear inside him. 

He was just looking at it when all of a sudden he heard a voice, he didn't know where it was coming from but still, he heard it. 

Zhang Yong looked here and there trying to find the source of the sound.

"All you had to do was conquer those bullies all along, conquer them and be free." 

The voice some what felt like an old man was speaking. Zhang Yong again looked here and there to find who it was but he stopped when he heard that voice again.

"You need to stop fearing people."

"But how? I have tried my best but that fear inside me just wouldn't leave me alone." Zhang Yong finally was able to get these words out of his mouth when he realized that the person was talking to him. 

"You need to let it go, find the answers to those questions which have been bothering you but don't let it become your fear. These answers you will get soon…."

"Aha."

"Come here…."

He still didn't know from where that voice was coming or from where he was being called so he kept rooted to his place. 

He felt as if the wall in front of him was calling him, the voice was just coming as whispers but it was still enough for him to hear. 

He wanted to step forward and move towards that wall from where he felt like he was being called but as soon as he put his foot up he felt like suddenly it had become too heavy and he couldn't even stand on his weight. 

Zhang Yong's body felt weak and numb; he felt like he was being pushed down and at the same time back. His head was heavy and his eyes were wide. He was being pushed back with much force now. He tried to stand straight but still, his middle body was at the back. 

Soon the scene, the wall, the sky in front of him started to vanish. Slowly his vision got blurry and in no time every thing was gone. 

The stain had vanished like it was never there in the first place like the whole thing had been a visual joke. There was darkness every where now. 

Zhang Yong could only feel himself laying there on the ground all alone in that darkness but soon the darkness too started to go away. Zhang Yong's eyes could see more things now.

Zhang Yong ran his hands over the fabric before holding it up to the brilliant early morning sun. 

There was no trace of red, black, or any other color. It was as clean as the day it was created and just as supple, just as beautiful. What had been there before was already fading from her memory, as if it wasn't just erased from the silk, but from history all together. 

It had been words he was sure of, but now that they were gone he felt himself begin to relax. 

Casting his eyes around at the trees, listening to the birds, he quite forgot every thing else for a moment. Then when recalled he was holding something he looked down to find only white petals, which he instinctively released into the breeze and watched them float away.

"Be alive." 

Again that voice rang but this time Zhang Yong felt a pang of relief passing through his body. 

Without thinking about any thing else he nodded his head as his instincts told him to do so.

There was a big smile plastered on his face as he looked here and there and up in the sky like he felt peaceful now as if some one was there caressing his head telling him to live. He was smiling now when again he felt like every thing was disappearing from his vision. 

And before he could realize every thing which was in front of him was gone. There was only darkness in front of him. 

Just after he felt darkness spreading he hurriedly opened his eyes. 

Zhang Yong woke up suddenly, not because of any noise or interruption, yet because his dream had come to its conclusion. The night movie had ended, credits had rolled. Now it was time to engage in the real world once more.

Though his eyes were open he just couldn't think of why; his heart was pounding, mind empty. It was as if a hypodermic of adrenaline had been emptied into his carotid. He strained into the utter darkness, breathing rate beginning to steady.

"What happened?" 

He was laying there on the ground in the same position when he woke up. He was still facing upwards and was now staring at the wall of the log which was above him. 

Senior Zhang Yong was just about to pass from there when he saw Zhang Yong trying to get up and rubbing his eyes. Upon seeing Zhang Yong's situation he hurriedly came towards him. 

"What happened, Zhang?"

There were some unshed tears on the corner of his eyes while sweat was forming there on his forehead. 

He wasn't thinking straight and felt like he wasn't there yet, he was still in that dream and was trying to find a way to come out of it.

"Zhang Yong? Zhang Yong, are you okay?" Senior Zhang Yong asked him again. 

Zhang Yong now only came to the realization, he immediately sat there on the ground as he wiped the sweat forming on his forehead. 

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Zhang Yong blurted out. 

Senior Zhang Yong realized that some thing was not okay, his condition was telling every thing. 

"Did you have a bad dream?"

Zhang Yong nodded his head before looking towards him and saying, "Yeah! I just had a bad dream! No! No! It wasn't a bad dream but...…. But every thing about it just felt so real."

"Ohh."

Senior Zhang Yong had a big leaf in his hands which was bent upwards and it looked like a little cup with that little stick around it. The cup was filled with water which he probably got for himself but now he extended it towards Zhang Yong saying, "Here take it…."

Zhang Yong pushed his hand forward and grabbed that glass from his hand. He analyzed the cup for a minute by looking at it from the left side and then the right. 

And the next moment, in one go he gulped down the water and then coughed a little. 

"Calm down." 

"Drink slowly. Will you?" 

Zhang Yong hurriedly nodded his head and then this time drank the remaining water slowly. As soon as he was done drinking he pushed the cup made of leaf back towards Senior Zhang Yong not before saying, "Thanks." 

Senior Zhang Yong hurriedly grabbed it but didn't move away from him. He just stood there for two minutes before taking a deep breath like he was just sighing in frustration and then finally said to him, "I tried to look for Fuzzy but.... he is nowhere to be found...