My Little Secret

People hardly came to Absolem, I wondered what he was doing here. He seemed like someone who was influential or belonged to a family that was. He definitely did not seem like a reader to me. If anything, he seemed like someone who spent his evenings at bars attending business meetings. His casual shirt and trousers made him look a little older, but his face seemed like he was just out of college. He was very handsome. His features were amazing.

His eyes caught my attention. They looked like they were made out of glass. His skin glowed showing his youth, or was I just exaggerating this. Either way, there was no denying that he was a work of wonder. His subtle beard added onto his good looks and gave him a dash of sexy and mysterious. I snapped out of this fantasy as Simon's words creeped into my thoughts again.

I hear his voice in my head.

"After Adam and you were in that terrible accident, your mind has programmed itself into something unique. It's not uncommon for your emotions to be all over the place after a trauma." He says as I try to process the information. Adam. The tragic accident, terrible memories.

"Sometimes," he continued "they come together to strengthen your instincts. The contact you're making with people, enables you to tap into a part of your brain that is meant to protect you. You could call it defense mechanism of some sort maybe, perhaps because you were too dependent on Adam to take care of you Sof. Once he was gone, your brain did everything it could to protect itself from further emotional wreckage. It let you see the past of someone to protect you from the dark future they could bring by being with you. I see it as a gift. It could help you write more, gather more ideas and insights on people's lives."

I was shocked to see how Simon could think about turning this around in a situation like this. I let his words sink in. The accident was a blur, the aftermath too. But the trauma remained, the pain was there too. It felt like it would never go away.

I walked around the store looking for the book with Ivan following me. My mind was going to explode with all this information. It was a good thing that Ivan hadn't talked much. He hadn't uttered a word since he asked me for that book, when I thought about it. I found his book in the "borrowing only" section. I couldn't possibly sell him the book.

"I'm afraid I can only let you borrow this book. We cannot sell it to you. Maybe for a month, max. It's an important copy." If he agreed, he'd have to come back to return the book. Amidst all this chaos, it made me a little excited. The thought of seeing him again.

He agreed and I then make a note of his number and address in the register. He extends his hand to shake hands with me after I put his book in a brown paper back and hand it over to him. I deny by making an excuse that my hands were dirty. He seemed to understand. Almost too easily.

"I'll be back soon" he smiles and turns to leave.

"Avoid any physical human contact for a while" Simon had warned me. I guess I could only hug Poirot now.