My Little Secret

There was something about that moment that made me feel safe. After kissing Ivan, my heart felt at ease. It suddenly dawned on me that I saw nothing. Not a thing about his past.

"Ivan" I look at him, seriously.

"Is everything okay?" he says looking worried.

"I saw nothing." I tell him.

"Oh, okay. How does this thing work?" he asks.

I hold his hand and squeeze it a little.

After about ten seconds, I look at him and say, "Nothing! I see nothing!"

"How do you feel about it?" he asks.

"I'm alright, I'm confused." I say and grab my hoodie. "There's one way to find out, if it's just you or I

can't see things with anyone else."

"Wanna make a run for it?" he smiles and extends his hand. I smile and take his hand. It felt good to finally be able to hold his hand.

"Wait, Ivan." I say and look at him.

I put my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. His cologne smelt like freshly mown grass. It had an aquatic tinge to it. He put his arms around my back and moved my hair behind my ear. My face broke into a smile.

"Let's go." I say and extend my hand. He holds it and we run towards his car.

"The nearest coffee store, I'll shake hands with the first person I find. If I am unable to break contact, you'll be there right?" I ask him.

"Yes." He says and looks at me. I smile at him. My attention turns towards the sound system. I play a song and when it plays, I turn towards him in surprise.

"This is my favourite song!" I exclaim.

"I know." He says and laughs.

"What do you mean, "you know?", I don't think we've ever had 'what's your favourite things' conversation yet." I say and look at him suspiciously. "Aww, have you been paying attention to things unspoken?" I tease him.

He laughs. "Ofcourse, but you don't remember, do you? I mean, how would you. You were so drunk that day."

"You were at this club, you were dancing on this song, this exact song" he said, pointing at the stereo. " You had the moves, haha. He got it all wrong, you know?" he says and laughs.

"You were at the club? What were you doing there?" I say and put my hands on my mouth in shock.

"I'm sure you were at a fancy dinner or something, isn't there a rooftop or something?"

"Haha, well, yes. I was with Catherine, it was her birthday. What do you mean fancy, it's not fancy." He defends.

"Sure. How do you even manage to eat at a place like that? You can't even chew without making it sound like a tornado." I laugh.

"Well, Catherine likes those kinda places. I don't mind them either." He says.

"Of course. But McDonald's is the real deal Ivan." I say and chuckle. "Wait, you do know what McDonald's is right?" I say and break into a laugh.

"Pfft. Of course, I know what it is. Actually, let's go there." He says.

"Sure." I say and laugh, "You will order for us. Everything." I say and point my finger at him.

"Works for me." He says and scoffs.

When we reach the restaurant, he looks at the menu intently.

"Need help with that, Mr. Radcliffe?" I ask as I lean on the table beside us.

He looks at me seriously, "You know something?" he says and comes closer. I freeze, I didn't know what to do, it was like my brain had stopped functioning.

"You're of the same height as this table." He says and looks at me and his face breaks into a smile.

I open my mouth to protest and then give up and laugh with him. He could be fun if he wanted to.

"It's adorable though." He says and pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. I look at him a little longer than I should have.

"What?" he asks and smiles.

"Nothing." I say and smile, "I'm happy." I say and smile.

"Me too." He says and I chuckle.

"So, ready to order?" I say and look at him.

"Okay! Fine! I'm bad at this. Could you please?" he says looking defeated.

I laugh and agree.

After placing the order, I extend my hand to shake hands. The guy at the counter looks confused but shakes his hand with me.

I turn towards Ivan, "So?" he asks.

"Nothing. I felt nothing." I say and look at him confused.

"I'm sure it's a good thing." He says.

I couldn't agree. It was weird that I stopped seeing things after I kissed Ivan. I didn't understand why.

Why him? And why now?