My Mister Ostrich

38 – Early Years of the Injury
If you don’t feed yourself, just wait until you starve. We’re not going to feed you.

When the sun shined through Pang Qian’s window, Gu Mingxi was already awake.

He had a lot of matters on his mind and he was in a strange room, so naturally, he didn’t sleep well. He wriggled out from his blanket and looked at the clock on Pang Qian’s headboard. It was only 6 o’clock. The girl in bed was wrapped up in her covers, sleeping soundly with a light snoring sound. She slept with her back facing Gu Mingxi, so he could only see her black hair spread out on her pillow.

It was cold out, and hey were on a school break. Gu Mingxi knew that Pang Qian liked to stay in bed, so he didn’t want to wake her up. He picked up his pajamas and flung them onto his shoulder. Then, carrying his back scratcher between his cheek and shoulder, he left the room.

Pang Shuisheng and Jin Ai’hua didn’t appear to be awake either yet. Gu Mingxi went into the bathroom, locked the door, and slowly started his daily routine.

With only a pair of boxers on, he was freezing cold. But he still had to take care of his physiological needs.

Normally, this was how Gu Mingxi used the restroom when he woke up as well. He carried in his back scratcher between his shoulder and head. With some maneuvering, even while he was still groggy, he was able to use his back scratcher to pull open his underpants and support his birdie to pee.

For others, it might be a very difficult task, but he was already an expert at it. After all, it had already been ten years since his amputation. Gu Mingxi was already very used to doing things in all sorts of odd manners.

But this time, he was met with a problem. Because he was wearing boxers, the opening was close to his thigh, which made it hard to pull open.

Gu Mingxi never got irritated about these kinds of things though. He would just try to patiently pull it open a few times, and when he couldn’t, he decided to just take off the underpants to pee, like he’d done the night before.

Taking the underpants off was a laborious task. They were short, so they were hard to simply pull down. Pang Qian’s bathroom didn’t have any assisting tools installed on their walls either. So Gu Mingxi could only lift his foot as far as he could, bend his foot with the bottom facing his thigh, and try to pull at the bottom of the boxers.

He stood on one leg in the bathroom, hopping up and down. His body kept swaying, and it took him 10 minutes to pull the boxers down. His foot ached a little afterwards too.

After he finished peeing, Gu Mingxi stood still and rested for a moment. Then he used his back scratcher to help pull the boxers back up. Fortunately, compared to taking them off, it was much easier to put them on.

While he wasn’t wearing his pajamas, Gu Mingxi decided to wash his face and brush his teeth. Although he was cold without his clothes on, it was much easier to do things.

When he brushed his teeth, he lifted his head to look at himself in the mirror. After a night’s sleep, his hair had become a mess. There was toothpaste foam in his mouth, and a little had gotten on his cheek. He tilted his head and wiped it off with his shoulder.

His gaze fixed onto his shoulders. At his left and right shoulders, at the armpit area, there were still scars from his amputation. The stitched up skin that wrapped around the broken bones.

Li Han had whispered to him numerous times, that if they had been able to leave Gu Mingxi with a bit of his upper arm, even if it were just 10 or 20 cm, it would have been a big help to his daily life. But reality was really too cruel. Gu Mingxi’s arms were cut off at the root, not even leaving behind a stump.

He had long ago forgotten what it was like to have arms. When he saw others using their arms and hands to pick up things, to do things, Gu Mingxi didn’t really grasp the idea. Seeing those same things, his first reaction was to reach out his foot. His toes were slender, flexible, and strong. Although he couldn’t control them however he wanted, and they couldn’t be compared to having fingers, but Gu Mingxi still really liked and had faith in his two feet.

He put his toothbrush down and picked up his cup of water to rinse. The sound of footsteps came from outside the bathroom door, and then a bang. The person outside the bathroom discovered that there was already someone inside and started hitting the door. “Who’s inside? Mom, is it you? Open the door and let me pee. It’s really urgent!”

Gu Mingxi spit out the water in his mouth. “Pang Pang, it’s me. I’ll be done soon, just wait a second.”

Hearing Gu Mingxi’s voice, Pang Qian was immediately silenced. Then she said, “Hurry up. Call me when you’re done.”

Gu Mingxi quickly finished rinsing. With his right foot, he wet a face towel and wiped off his face. Since he was standing on one leg, there was no way for him to wring out his towel. He didn’t care and just started putting on his clothes with a wet face.

Pang Qian didn’t hurry him, but Gu Mingxi felt a bit anxious anyway. He wanted to put his clothes on quickly, but the more he rushed, the more anxious he got, and the slower he ended up being. He was afraid Pang Qian wouldn’t be able to wait, so after randomly putting on his clothes, he opened the door. Pang Qian was there, and after looking at him, let out a laugh. “Gu Mingxi, how can you put your clothes on like that?”

Gu Mingxi knew that he looked a mess, and he wanted to go back to the room to tidy himself, but Pang Qian stopped him.

She carefully helped him adjust his clothes, straightening the shoulders on his shirt, and turning his pants slightly. Gu Mingxi’s face started getting red. Pang Qian lifted her head and looked at him with a bright smile, “Gu Mingxi, good morning!”

Because Gu Mingxi was there, Pang Qian didn’t stay in bed all day. After using the toilet, she quickly washed up. Not long after, Pang Shuisheng and Jin Ai’hua both got up. Jin Ai’hua was washing clothes and Pang Shuisheng wsa cooking breakfast. Then the four of them sat together around the table, eating meat and vegetable wontons with pickled vegetable pancakes.

“Mingxi has always liked my pickled veggie pancakes, right?” Pang Shuisheng was in a very good mood. “Since you live far away now, there won’t be many chances in the future. So take advantage of these few days to eat a lot.”

Gu Mingxi’s lips twisted and he smiled.

Pang Qian’s family felt completely different to his own. Pang Shuisheng as an old, uncultured man. He spoke with a booming voice, he was warmhearted with a sense of justice. Jin Ai’hua looked very tough, but she was actually very soft-hearted. Together, they raised Pang Qian. Thick-skinned, and somewhat careless, like Pang Shuisheng. Overbearing, aggressive, but kind and honest, like Li Han.

When they sat around the table for a meal, it was full of laughter. Pang Shuisheng would give his daughter some puff snacks (like shrimp chips or something), and Jin Ai’hua would scold her for eating unhealthily. But Pang Qian would just whine (“cutely”).

In Gu Mingxi’s memories, after his amputation, he never whined like that in front of his father. Gu Guoxiang was always very strict with him, especially right after he’d gotten injured and was just starting to use his feet to do things. Gu Guoxiang could even be called cruel or harsh.

At the time, Gu Mingxi spent half a month and a half in the hospital before he was discharged. It was only then that Gu Guoxiang, who was studying in the faraway France, finally took a leave to pay visit to his son.

Seeing his crippled son, Gu Guoxiang acted as if he were struck by lightening. For a long time, he didn’t say anything. Then, he spent the whole night smoking on the balcony.

After Gu Mingxi could leave his bed, he realized a lot of things had changed.

He couldn’t even walk anymore. When he walked, he didn’t go straight. He always went off to the side. After a few steps, he either hit a wall or fell to the ground.

He couldn’t sit up properly either. He would sit in his chair and then suddenly fall over onto the ground, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t get up again.

He couldn’t eat on his own, dress himself, brush his teeth or wash his face, use the toilet or take a shower. All of this generated a great fear inside his mind. Without his parents, he was completely unable to do anything.

Couldn’t play with his toys, couldn’t draw, couldn’t write, couldn’t take any food to eat…

He started having temper tantrums. Every day, he would cry and whine about getting robotic arms. When he had to study, he would use his head to push everything onto the floor. When Li Han fed him some food, he would spit it all out. He cried all night long, until his voice disappeared… Then finally, he just became silent, sitting at home every day, in a trance.

The next time Gu Mingxi refused to eat, Gu Guoxiang walked over and took the bowl from Li Han’s hands. He said, “If he doesn’t want to eat, then fine. When he gets hungry, let’s see what he’ll do.”

Gu Mingxi was also very stubborn, so for one day and night, he didn’t eat. Li Han was distressed to tears, but Gu Guoxiang didn’t let her feed Gu Mingxi anything.

The morning after that, when Gu Guoxiang and Li Han were eating breakfast, Gu Mingxi stumbled to their side. He looked at the congee (rice porridge) on the table, mouth watering.

Gu Guoxiang brought a chair over for him, and placed a bowl down on the tea table. He also left a spoon. “If you want to eat, feed yourself.”

Gu Mingi just stared at him, as Li Han said, “Guoxiang…”

“Are you going to feed him for the rest of his life?” Gu Guoxiang looked out indifferently from behind his glasses. Towards the 6 year old Gu Mingxi, he remained hard-hearted. He said, “I don’t care how you do it, but you have to finish this bowl.”

That was the first time that Gu Mingxi fed himself after he lost his arms.

He didn’t use his feet to pick up the spoon. He couldn’t, and he hadn’t thought of it. He sat in front of the tea table and stuck his face towards the bowl of congee. He was so hungry, he didn’t care about anything else. With his tongue extended, he started licking and slurping at the congee. After he finished eating the top layer, he continued slurping another. When he got to the bottom of the bowl, he couldn’t lick anymore, so he desperately bit the edge of the bowl and tilted his head back. Unsurprisingly, the bowl fell and the congee spilled all over him.

Gu Mingxi signaled to Li Han to help him clean up. His young son kept crying, but Gu Guoxiang only filled a new bowl of congee for him. “Mingxi, try to use your foot to feed yourself.”

That was the start of Gu Mingxi’s life of using his feet.

There was a very common scene that occurred in that month. Gu Mingxi would sit there, quietly weeping, with a spoon tucked into his toes, as he fed himself congee. His toes were small and short, so it was hard to grasp onto the spoon. The congee often spilled all around.

He would knock over his bowl and toss away the spoon. Whenever he couldn’t eat, Gu Guoxiang only said, “If you don’t feed yourself, just wait until you starve. We’re not going to feed you.”

The young Gu Mingxi didn’t know why his parents were so fierce to him. He also wanted to eat properly, but he didn’t have any arms. Don’t people all eat with their hands? If he didn’t have any, why did he have to eat with his feet?

Gu Guoxiang was home for a month, and Gu Mingxi cried for a month. He cried and cried. Then he learned to use his feet to eat. And then he learned how to use his feet to do a lot of things.

He practiced stretching. He sat on the floor, as Li Han pushed his body down close to his legs. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, half an hour… Gu Mingxi was soaked in a cold sweat, his teeth clenched. But he didn’t cry again.

From the side, Gu Guoxiang checked his watch. “Time’s up. You can rest now.”

Gu Mingxi felt that, although those years were tough, although his dad was very fierce, although his mom kept crying, those were very fine years. Because the three of them were together.

Maybe they would never have that chance again.