My Parasite Skill System

Visiting my residence.

That room.

It caught my eyes.

I'll be honest–your door is what puts me off. I mean, it is so … different?

White, smooth, and clean. Even the design of the handle was different and stood out compared to any other handle I'd have had the occasion to see, at some point.

"I bite, I bite."

It genuinely stood out. This stuff just about caught back my interest and revived the flame of my killing-the-boring-times endeavors.

And what's written round the top of the door, on that sign, right here…?

"WC … what's that mean?–WC Bath–bathroom."

The bathroom part I understand.

So well written. Very fancy. And not the same kind of fancy of the dining table back there.

Well, that's one bathroom.

I should be entering it, now. My seizing hand pressed down that golden-colored handle.

The fantastical door opened from inside of the bathroom. Naturally following the fancy, golden handle, I got inside the room.

"Thanking you, kind little squared window–even though I could be perfectly seeing without your light–I come on in."

Once I had opened the inside of the inside–my eyes were filled with new kinds of stuff to marvel at–or maybe that's a slight exaggeration: "Well, it's kind of boring in the end, isn't it, too?... I mean, aside from that weird-looking oval-shaped chair … with that hole inside of it. What is there for me to get my bored teeth onto?"

This virtually empty space was just another room. Well, bathroom, in the context of right now. WC Bathroom. Whatever that means.

There was a closet here, and a cupboard there.

Very rapidly (as it was so little) touring the whole area, "Shall I head out?–or follow my wit?"

Yup. I should be doing that. I've always done that. Following my wit, it is, then.

"Hmm … is this a chair? This must be a chair. It is … simply like a chair. Or a throne. Yeah, that must definitely be a throne."

It was a white throne. With a hole in it. Yes, as weird and surreal as it might have been: there was a hole in it.

Why did I stop at that object, in particular, you ask?

Well, just for the same reason I stopped by the white thick door; the weird object stood out in such a way that it needed me investigating it.

"To… to… toilet."

Getting before it driven by my strong eagerness to do away with my state of boredom, I continued on,

"Such will be your name. You're a toilet. … Why are you so weird-looking though. 'Cause now that I really think on it, that white door's charm can't even equal a fraction of yours … hmm…"

That throne was weird-looking. That was a fact. The place where you sit, it was very oval and round; and it even had got a hole in it, with water down the hole. A little flake.

There also was a lid, to that throne. A lid that shifted to the backrest of the throne.

My mistrust and amazement only grew tougher and thicker the more I was playing with the chair.

That object was living under the same roof as I was. Just naturally, then, I inspected it even further as I was crouching down in front of it, narrowing my eyes and letting my hands go.

The lid was closed, right now–but I opened it back, and peered down at the pond down below.

"Oh," my eyes rounded up.

And just beneath the white lid, there was another layer of that white smooth stuff.

"If the hole is an eye, then you must be a monocle," I concluded, satisfactorily.

Exploring further below, my groping fingers went around the grossly fat down-part of the throne.

"Looks like a bowl of some sort," I nodded, all the more satisfactorily.

And then, going even further underneath the whole throne thingy … that was it.

"Boring."

I would finally stand back up on my legs, at this point. I was pretty much done here. Or rather, here was pretty much done with I.

"Thus my verdict is: in spite of your surprisingly amusing and form–you're not even sounding familiar to my brains, which means I didn't you at all up till today–you are boring.

"And then again, even though you're clearly an alien–not from this world, no chance, hahaha, just kidding, though–you're boring.

"Well, well, well. What can I do with you, now??

"'Cause I still am bored, y'know, toilet, sir.

"You know what–let's shake hands! What a brilliant idea. We need to shake hands. I want to shake hands with you, toilet. I really wanna.

"Just hand it over. Your hand. Stick it out. Hold it out…"

But, what was that? You see, my toilet didn't even hold out its hand for me to shake it! The scoundrel.

No worries, though. I decided I would find it on my own. Heh.

"Never mind … I can find your hand. I will find your hand … and your hand is right here, hehe!–that was pretty fast.

"Then again, I'm strong, so maybe that's that–Ah?!"

But when I shook that horrifying throne's hand, lo and behold!–it started to growl at me angrily!

"What in the world is that?... why is it even spitting water at itself!... no, toilet!–have I made you angry?? Pissed off? Tired of me?? But I'm so bored … whom am I going to be hanging out with, if not yourself–oh!–I know!... I'm truly sorry I called yourself boring, Alien Object ... quickly, I have to perform a bow to appease your wrath!..."

I quickly got up and performed a bow of my upper body. How scary that is!

"There–there you go, Alien Toilet! I won't bow more than my head and shoulders to you, though, I'm still a man!–they say there's gold under my knees!–I can only do that!... please, calm yourself down–I didn't mean disrespec–"

Slam!

–All at once, the door opened itself with such super strength that it caused a depression of the room's air. I felt it in my ears. And the door didn't even go whacking itself onto the opposite wall; it neatly stopped before making a fuss of things!

I didn't even dare turn to the opened door. I couldn't dare. This would be meaning disrespect, I'm sure.

Rather, let's emphasize my speech on my regrets:

"I'm truly sowwy, Alien Toilet, Sir!"

Could this mystical object even do that? What a fool have I made of myself…!

To dare call such a monstrous thing 'boring'…

I regret my actions, but I shall fight!

But cutting my wild thoughts short, yet again:

–"Young lad!... that is where you were!... you shush yourself, my boy!"

My savior!

"Old Sipping! I will shush myself!–this is so scary, though–what is this thing?? We should get it out!"

"And … oh, I … this old man has … ho!–do brief me in about whatever that is that you, young supposedly intelligent boy, is going about here…!"

Woah.

"Okay!–I promise to explain everything … and every little detail–but you gotta know, Old Sipping–I hate that object…!" and I rushed towards the old man, thinking he'd offer me protection against the bad, villain, scoundrel alien thing.

Phew!