My twin brother, I will find you

I woke up suddenly late at night and stood up. I was having a bad dream. A dream about being chased by someone. I was running away from him, but ,soon, he catches me. He was holding a knife in his left hand. He was grabbing me tightly around my neck in his right arm and said 'I will kill you!'

The thought of having this dream brought me chills. I was in pain and I was scared. Sweat poured down my body as I stayed still. My teeth chattered in fear and my heart was throbbing in my ears, loud and irregular, but I barely heard it, for my mind was clouded with fear. Fear crippled me, freezing every muscle of my body.

I stood for a couple seconds and then closed my eyes. I could no longer control my hands; they were shaking. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I could only open my mouth to find that even words had deserted me. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around me to see nothing but the darkness.

I tried to stand up on my feet, but I stumbled. I tried to stand up again, and then I finally walked slowly. I wanted to go out of this dark place as fast as I could. I reached, after I stumbled several times, the door handle. My hands were trembling. I steady my breath and tried to calm the panic, but still my hands were trembling. I took two small steps backward, stumbled, and bring my knees up to my chest. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream. I stood there for what looked like hours.

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I heard someone shouting by my name. I opened my eyes slowly while blinking. I looked carefully at who might that person be. She was the head maid.

She touched my hand in panic "What happened to you?! And why you are here lying on the ground like this!"

I really wanted to hear someone's voice. I wanted to be suddenly small and to crawl into someone's lap. I stood up and then, without notice, burst into tears.

She hugged me very hard. She puts her hand on my head and pat me.

"It is okay now, you are fine." She said it with a passion.

I did not say anything. I was crying and sobbing very loud.

"I ..... I wa ..... I want ..... to .... to go ..... out." I said it intermittently.

She replied while still hugging me "okay ...."

We became like this for several hours. I closed my eyes and slept after crying.

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I woke up and saw myself lying on the bed. I stood up impulsively and saw that my clothes and bandage were changed to new ones. I looked around to see if someone here. I relaxed when I saw the head maid sitting on a couch and looking at me.

"Finally, you are awake."

"How long I slept?" I asked in a faint tone.

"Three hours." She answered while giving me a glass of water. "Please drink."

I grabbed the glass and drank. My throat was really dry.

"I want to go out. Now."

She looked at me carefully and said "Can you wait a little bit. Your father has not summoned me yet."

"I WANT TO GO OUT. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE. TAKE ME OUT NOW!" I shouted loudly.

I ,then, hit the quilt in anger and said with a trembling voice "Take me out. Take me .... out. Take .... me .... out. Ta .. Take ... me .... ou .... out."

I hugged myself and cried loudly. I cried because of the nightmare. I cried because I am scared. I cried because my life was threatened. I cried because I still did not have any leads about my brother's location. I cried because I am useless, very useless. I cried because I am weak. I cried because I am worthless. I cried because I am being used. I finally let out all the burden that was inside of me by crying out loud.

The head maid looked at me pathetically and said "Could you wait here? I need to go your father's butler informing him that you want to go."

"NO!" I exclaimed while touching my forehead with my hand intensely. "I said NO! I don't want to be left alone here. Take me with you." I insisted.

"But .."

"NO!" I paused for a moment then said "I need to talk to Father. You don't have to do anything."

I stood up on my feet and walked toward the door in a rush. I felt her hands were grabbing my arm. I looked behind me to see her.

"Please. Do not go. Your father told me to not let you go out for now."

I looked at her deeply, then pulled my arm from her hand and opened the door. I saw two bodyguard standing beside the door. They looked at me surprisingly and one of them said "Where are you going prince?!"

I did not answer him. He extended his hand to grab my arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I shouted and then ordered them to not follow me.

I left in a hurry looking for Father. As I went out from the room, I realized that I was living in the castle. Soon I became somewhat familiar of this place. So, I went to my father's office because it is the only place I knew and could think of right now. I was running as fast as I could. I felt dizzy once I reach the office's door, but it was nothing compared to what my condition was before. I opened the door without knocking hoping to see Father in front of me.

I looked in front of me and saw Father sitting on a chair and beside him was the butler.

"Father!"

Father became motionless as he saw me in front of him. He stood up impulsively and said to the butler "Go out."

The butler bowed and left out.

Father walked fast to where I was standing and suddenly he slapped me! I shocked at what he just did now. I fell down into the ground from the intense of the slapping. My pupils enlarged, and my breathing was rapid. I touched my trembling hand to where he hit me.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHERE IS THE HEAD MAID!" He shouted at me.

I flinched and closed my eyes to avoid Father's expressions.

"ARE YOU DEAF? I AM TALKING TO YOU." He was still shouting.

I was still trembling in fear.

He impatiently grab my front shirt and shouted "WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION!"

He pushed me on the ground and walked far away.

"EHH ..." I groaned.

I touched my wounded area in pain. I was still closing my eyes in fear. I thought to myself "Why is Father angry? I did not do anything wrong."

I wanted to cry, but I hold myself. Instead, I trembled. I was very scared, hardly breathing at all.

Father sighed, he looked at me and said sharply "Go ... NOW! I don't want to see you!"

"Y .. Yes Father."

I quickly stood up and went outside.