My Upgrades Are Invincible

I grinned as I showed off the bewildered Pallum in my arms by holding her under her armpits and holding her to my chest I bounced her a bit in the air. "Hestia, can we keep her!?" I said brightly as though her having dog ears and a tail made it perfectly fine to adopt her...

Hestia's eyes just twitched as she took in the disguised Pallum and finally Bell's barely withheld giggles broke the tension making her sigh exasperated. "Does she even have a Familia and I thought you were going to take a while to start recruiting." She chided making me recall that we didnt even have an extra bed or space for more members in the basement.

"Lili can sleep on the other side of you on the bed." Seeing a blush rising on Hestia's cheeks at the thought of another woman joining 'our' bed, frankly I was kinda curious if the blush was from rage or embarrassment but before Mount Hestia blew up, I cut off her coming tirade. "Hestia it's just for tonight don't worry." I said gently making her deflate.

Seeing as the joke was clearly done, I put Lili on the floor as I contemplated whether we should all go out to eat for dinner with our rainfall of cash from the Soma people we looted and decided to see if we could borrow Mia's kitchen again seeing as we had plenty of money to pay for ingredients there and frankly we literally didnt have any kitchen implements here so cooking was impossible even with my fusing abilities.

"Hey guys seeing as we have a new member how about we go back to the Hostess of Fertility to celebrate."

Bell frowned and I see conflict crossing his face as he clearly hasn't apologized for running yet. "By the way Bell, you still owe me twenty thousand Valis for that dine and dash." I added making him slouch in dismay.

"Aright here." He opened his money bag and gave me my money and I could see he already has made his peace with apologizing.

I turned to the ladies and frankly taking in Lili... I didnt want even to want to take her dumpster diving with how dirty and how messed up her clothes were. "Hestia Lili has had a hard time recently so how about you help her get cleaned up and get her falna done." I said so she could get some time to obviously interrogate the new member of our Familia.

"Oh, I can also fuse some clothes into her own while you get her cleaned up, I don't know if that will clean them up necessarily but it's better than nothing."

Hestia nodded and started pushing the clearly out of her depth Lili into the back of the church where we had a small shower and after a couple minutes of me and bell taking about how we took out the Soma adventurer's and what we should do next time we get surrounded whether by monsters or people. She called out to me "Jake come get her clothes now please."

I threw Bell a cheeky grin as I walked outside and paused seeing Hestia covering her chest in a towel as to make sure she wouldn't get her clothes wet I guessed as she washed Lili's hair making me run my eyes up Lili's body being barred at me as she had her head down and eyes probably closed with to make sure she didnt get soap in them.

I wasn't sure what Hestia was doing but then again, she is Greek...

I just quietly grabbed Lili's clothes and took them aside and it only took a few moments to fuse her outer clothes into better condition, even the smell seemed to be gone.

"Hestia her clothes are fixed up and by the door." I called outside.

"Ok just we will be a few more minutes..." Came the distracted voice of Hestia and I could hear Lili's voice squeak as the goddess went back to teasing her as I myself went back to talk to Bell.

"So, Bell, I noticed you really enjoyed using my weapon and was curious if you wanted me to fuse a magic weapon for you?" Granted there's a saying that using gear that was plainly too high level would take away from the Excellia we would normally earn, but the thing is that both of us are cheating cheats who rely on our skills to earn easily more than ten times the amount a normal adventurer would get in a day and our high-level gear allowed us too frankly do stupid stuff like me being able to kill orcs or being able to kill a large number of enemies in general.

Bell nodded excitedly but then shook his head. "Uhm I really like your weapon, but I can't really jump with it..."

Yeah, no shit the weapon easily weighs a couple hundred pounds at the least and even if your superhuman, jumping with that much weight is not at all fun. "Yeah, I agree overwhelming power isn't really your style." 'Haaa looks like I can't escape making him insect glaives.' I thought

Lili ran out of the back fully dressed and dove into my arms. "Master Jake, you won't throw me away right!"

I just gently rubbed her dog ears making her squirm and bury her face into my chest as I gave Hestia a WTF look making her pout. "Lili, I have zero plans to, "Abandon you" I said with obvious quotations. "Now I am not sure what Hestia has said but she was probably just teasing you as we just got into a relationship and wants to hmm... Mark her boundaries." I said weakly and cringed at seeing the deadpan looks thrown my way.

"Whatever let's just go get drunk at the Hostess and then we can yell at each other and get this over with." I groaned seeing a literal scene from the show as Hestia took my right arm and Lili my left and stared off at one another before snorting and turning away from one another.

I almost was going to warp my arms around Lili and Hestia's waists to push us to get out of the church but then I realized something awkward Lili didnt even come up to my waist seeing as she was only 3'7 and no woman wants to be led to a restaurant by a man they are interested in resting their hand on their head...

Lili stamped her foot in frustration at seeing Hestia throwing a smug look at her as she was able to hold my hand albeit at a slightly awkward angle seeing as she herself was only 4'7.

"Master Jake let's go now!" She yelled and started marching proudly out of the church and if she was swaying her backside more than necessary whelp I am certainly never going to complain and thankfully Bell is already simping for Ais cuz if he was able to notice any other women, he would have certainly noticed Lili trying to get my attention.

"Lili you want to race there!?" Bell excitedly asked and I looked at him in confusion and he explained "Well it just looks like she is super excited." He spoke earnestly

Dear god how did he not get himself sold or something with how naive he is... Liliruca just grinned mischievously. "Bell why don't you just run ahead and get us a booth we all can't race, leaving behind our goddess can we?"

"Alright!" He grinned and just peeled off at a jog and leaving me with the clearly combative Goddess and Pallum.

"Alright girls what the hell is going on." I groaned feeling Hestia let go of me and stop to meet Lili in a stare off.

Silence. We all stood there in an empty street as the two women had there stare off until Lili broke eye contact with me and turned to me and made me gap in shock. "I can actually give Jake babies!" She said smugly as though that statement would solve world hunger...

Hestia growled. "At least I don't need a safety belt to get fucked!"

I smacked my face in mortification and thanked all the gods busy with paperwork that the street was empty as this was going down.

"I'm a Pallum we are stretchy, and I won't get bored of him like you will!" Ouch hitting Hestia at the bored deity angle.

For a moment I thought Hestia was going to unseal her Arcanum and smite Lili to a pile of ashes so harsh was her glare before a smug gleam entered it. "Heh I was one of the virgin goddesses and after millennium I chose Jake to be my partner." Lili reeled back at that information, but Hestia continued on almost madly. "For literally longer than this planet has existed I have disdained almost all men until now I have found Jake and he is mine." She spoke with zero nonsense.

Then after she basically declared her ownership of me, she looked me in my eyes, and I could see her Arcanum was partially unsealed in her passioned state from the literal flames dancing in her eyes. "With my falna on your soul even should you fall in the dungeon, I will go back to Tenkai and hold your soul eternally within my bosom to be loved by me." She seemed to calm down for a moment and turned to Lili "Child I cannot blame you for who you clearly love." She almost grimaced at the word love but continued. "But you will learn to respect boundaries if you want to stay within this Familia, and most importantly my status as his wife."

Hestia blushed bright red as she said she was my wife. I gently patted both of the girls on their heads to interrupt this catfight as I could see Lili's stubborn nature about to explode and I do honestly think if she was push too hard there would be serious consequences. "Hestia, I don't appreciate you calling me basically property." I said solemnly then I put on almost embarrassed smile and hid my face with my hand. "Most importantly I don't even have a ring on my hand yet." I giggled making Hestia frown before a grin took over and I popped her bubble. "No, you can't take all our funds to get a ring if anything let me make a matching set and you could bind it with some blood maybe then you could monitor us in the dungeon or something."

Lili was pouting at the side, and I knew Bell was probably wondering where we were at this point. "Ok we need to get to restaurant otherwise all those maids working there are going to embarrass Bell to death probably." I said with a laugh and then ruffled Lili's head and gave her an affectionate smile.

We quickly made our ways onto the more populated streets of Orario and thankfully other than a few more snipes at one another they managed to keep the peace and not get in a fight in the middle of the streets.