My Upgrades Are Invincible

"I was just kidding haha." I lightly laughed at seeing there dumbstruck expressions which changed to Bell just rubbing his head sheepishly and Hestia giving me the stink eye.

Hestia snorted and spun her hand around in the gesture that pretty uniformly said turn around before I smack you, so I did. "Ok pull your shirt up over your back so I can give you your falna Jake." Hestia grumbled from behind me.

After pulling my shirt off but still keeping my arms in the arm holes I patiently waited and after a couple moment I saw Bell in the corner of my eye paying close attention to what Hestia was doing, He was probably just curious finally being able to see a falna being applied or updated this time and not just Hestia updating his own.

"Tsk." I grunted at the alien feeling of the petite goddess literally branding my soul with her divinity marking me as her own. It felt like cold water was being dripped along my back with the very occasional flash of heat but if if anything the heat flashes were coming by faster and more frequent. "Ha... Is this supposed to be so uncomfortable." I weakly exhaled as I was already starting to sweat and feel almost sick.

Bell was giving me a concerned look and put his hand on my shoulder to steady me and help Hestia. "What the hell is up with you? When we put a falna on someone its supposed to be almost like stamping someone in it's simplicity but with you its like I actually got to write our contract by hand. Wait I got it! Its because your soul is thicker than mud..."

Me and Bell both shared a look of confusion though mine was more among the thoughts of. "Did she just call my soul fat..."

"Is having a thick soul bad? Can I go on a soul diet or something?" I asked embarrassed, like what if Freya sees my soul and is actually repulsed by it and in the middle of the street calls me fatty or something, I don't know if I could take that...

Hestia groaned and I bent over pushing into Bells arm, gasping as the hot flash exploded into pure agony as I faintly heard Hestia slap something onto my back and the pain started to fade. "Wow that was a work out... What the hell is this!!!" Hestia cried out making Bell drop me face first onto the pew I was sitting on for my induction.

I lethargically turned towards my goddess and saw her and Bell gaping at a piece of paper and making glances at me in confusion repeatedly. "So what's the verdict doc am I going to live?" I joked to get there attention.

"You already have a spell, and even more importantly a skill! How is that possible I can understand one of the two but both..." Hestia trailed off before a smug grin took over. "Ha wait till I show you off to that Loki no boobs, She is going to be so jealous I cant wait haha!" She yelled out triumphantly.

I hated to rain on her parade but with the almost physchotic look that has taken over her and Bells harem protagonist backbone showing its strength as he meekly waved his hands but after we shared a smile I was glad to know he didn't seem jealous but, more in awe which made me exhale in relief but first I got to calm down the bouncy goddess.

"Uh Hestia first of all what is the spell and skill, and secondly I think it would be a very bad idea for you to run off shouting about me having such abilities lest we get forced into a War Game." I said with a grimace, I know she almost certainly wouldn't want to bring harm onto me but she is A a horrible drunk and B she has all the self control of a Pigeon with ADHD.

She almost threw the paper into my hands with her excitement so I had to straighten it out to start reading it and heard Bell ask Hestia. "So what are they Goddess?" He asked excitedly.

I was busy deciphering the language but still managed to hear Hestia grumble. "I have no idea, humph I have never seen or heard of those before and Bell, peoples magic almost always tends to be different for each person so keep that in mind."

I finally managed to get ahold of the entirety of the Falna and started to read my status out loud, to cut them off from arguing.

Jake Barris

Level 1

Strength 0 I

Endurance 0 I

Dexterity 0 I

Agility 0 I

Magic 0 I

Skills: Argonauts Adventure.- mentally delivers a daily quest that when accomplished will provide Excellia and also provides Excellia based on participation to party members. Rank-I

Magic: Creations Negation Of Entropy.- 'Combine'. Non sentient Objects must be touching users skin in order to combine at cost of both stamina and mind to form something better than the sum of all its parts. Rank-I

Thinking about the skill I was surprised to see a clear as day letter or memo within my mind which simply read 'Kill 10 goblins for 10 Excellia.' it seemed like a simple enough quest though it was interesting it didn't specify whether it was repeatable or any stipulations on how I killed them.

As for the magic hmm... "Hey Hestia I think I may have an idea on how to use my magic is it alright if I try to combine a couple of these broken pews to make a better one?"

She hesitated before nodding and I got Bell to help me quickly move the most broken of the pews into a kind of stack but honestly I wasn't even sure if it was actually just two pews, there seemed to be too many legs and planks in the pile but anyway I reached forward and made contact with the pile and called out. "Combine."

The pile turned into a hazy pile of light almost like a Pokémon evolving and the pile slowly seemed to straighten out and what was left of the almost rotted pile of wood became a fresh and clean pew that almost looked to be freshly waxed.

"Wow that's awesome haha." I laughed out excited, I was currently now imagining turning Potion's into Elixir's and any other get rich quick scheme but I felt the world darken momentarily and my legs became weak as I staggered.

"Bell help him! He is close to mind down!" Bell and Hestia helped me into the freshly made pew and I could frankly feel how much better made it was in comparison to even the more intact pews that were in this decrepit church but as I sat down for a few moment I became comfortable and the world stopped spinning from the sudden loss of energy.

"Wow that was a trip. I hope that was so exhausting because of the mass of the stuff I was transmuting and not the quality otherwise I am uber boned." I grimaced.

Bell on the other hand was ecstatic at what it seemed I could do. "Wait does that mean you could in time fix up our church or even combine weapons to make a better one?" Hmm honestly I believe just building a new home would be easier than fixing this but then again there is a lot of ruined buildings around here and I could just move the materials from one to this one. Hell it could be good strength and endurance training plan to just push a heavy as hell cart loaded with stones and such over here.

"For the Church frankly I don't know, it would take a while but it would allow me to work on this spell." I mused before continuing. "As for weapons do you have a couple extra knives you wouldn't mind trading for a better one?" I asked to which he nodded excited and when I gestured for him to go get them he ran into the side room I knew would lead to the basement leaving me and Hestia alone for minute.

I turned to Hestia and seeing her scrutinizing me I subconsciously blurted out "Is there something wrong?" I regretted saying that so bluntly instantly what if she thought I was hiding something its not like I could lie to any god or goddess if she asked the hard questions I could already be screwed...

Hestia instead just sighed and her judging look became more gentle. "Jake I don't quite know you just yet but Bell is very important to me so please help take care of him for me." She seemed to be chewing on her next words but hearing Bells quick steps as he rushed back up the stairs she whirled back on me "Tell me if any hussies get close to him!" She hissed at me as Bell came through the doorway and jogging towards us and dropping a towel full of broken and chipped knives and short swords...

I gave the kid a deadpanning look "Dude I said a couple knives not a butchers whole cabinet." I joked making his cheeks blush.

He sheepishly just brushed his head "Well I kept all the blades I have used as an adventurer even the broken ones because I thought I could sell them to a blacksmith at least as scrap metal and I guess a bit of sentimentality." I nodded to that last answer, there is little more that can be done to make someone appreciate an object more than killing enemies and defending yourself with said object.

I couldn't tell whether I was actually topped off on Mind and I wasn't feeling exhausted or anything so I think it was safe to try to Combine again so sighing I pilled the pile of broken blades into my arms and called out "Combine!" I said strictly and I tried to imagine the large pile of blades turning into two blades. One blade for me to actually have as a decent weapon tomorrow and the second one was to dismantle bodies because I will likely be playing at supporter for a bit so I could learn the ropes and not instantly get my throat torn out by an angry goblin or kobold.

Seeing the light fade away I was left with two blades one being a straight English sword and a rather vicious looking hooked knife I could tell would go through the soft bits of a monster like butter. "Ooooh what kind of blades are those?" Bell fanboyed over the sword while already taking the knife and absently minded twirling it around.

"Well the sword is a rather common style from where I am from and that knife is meant to gut and clean kills I thought it would be good for whenever we go, to have a good knife to get the stones easier." I elaborated with a shrug.

Surprisingly it was Hestia who answered. "Being able to get the monster stones easier will make your trips much more efficient. So good job Jake!" She beamed at me and sent a thumbs up to finish it off before stretching and showing off her body as she yawned. "Ok I think that has been enough excitement tonight, Jake we have a small futon you could borrow or me and Bell could just share the bed so you can use the sofa tonight!" She grinned mischievously.

Wow already using me as a wing man I can't wait till she finds out how many other women are 'friends' with him. Bell on the other hand just sputtered but then again he was only fourteen and although Hestia doesn't really try to be seductive, as a goddess her body was literally divine and without imperfections well other than her height but to me honestly that was a plus.

"Goddess I cant do that um how about you and Jake share the bed?" He said weakly.

"Gurk" I literally choked in shock at the sheer stupidity and mentally swore if he actually got with Ais that I would make sure he didn't get cucked if this is how he would treat a woman interested in him.

I gave Hestia a weak smile and tried to console her. "Hey its ok I can just sleep on the futon on the floor or actually on this pew. I just hope bug's don't get to me..." I groaned at the end.

Hestia's eyebrow was twitching and I could see was about to pop her top before she smiled and I could see it was the spiteful smile of a woman who was about to poison your dog, fuck your bestfriend and then share your search history on Facebook all in one afternoon. "Ok Bell me and Jake can just share the bed tonight I hope you will be a gentleman tonight Jake." She said with a painted on smile to which I just dumbly nodded and tried not to focus on how many people Greek gods fucked over when they were feeling spiteful and sent a pitying look at Bell.

"That's great, oh and Jake be careful Goddess loves to grab onto people when she is sleeping." Bell said innocently to which I could only drop my head into my hands at the sheer density of the blackhole called Bell Cranel.

I just stood up and gave Hestia a pat on the shoulder we walked downstairs and after Bell gave me a bit of Jerky to tide me over tonight we all settled in for bed with both Bell and Hestia being early risers apparently they were both getting ready for sleep when I arrived.

You know that awkward feeling when you are laying on your back beside someone in a bed and its extremely awkward and you wanna say something but you don't wanna make getting asleep harder for that person, yeah that was me for the next couple hours till finally I nodded off.

Waking up was just as an awkward affair as I woke up 'very' comfortable as a well stack beauty was currently laying on top of me and wasn't in anyway shying away from contact with even wrapping her arms around my head and resting her head just below my throat and I could feel her prominent assets pushing against my stomach but the bonus prize was my caveman sleeping mind had no problems grabbing a couple handfuls of her other sizable asset. I sighed and just let go of her as I looked around the room and say Bell getting dressed and, he seemed to have heard me sigh.

He turned at me and gave a bright grin and I mentally groaned about how he was a morning person. "Good morning Jake we got to get going and get you some real clothes and I guess at least a chest plate for armor. Oh and make sure you are properly registered that's super important." He said and if there was any more energy in his voice I would have no choice but to smother him in a pillow. "Heh like I said she was grabber huh Jake." Bell said guilelessly which made me just groan and the act of me groaning seemed to wake the mentioned cuddlebug.

"Ugh who are you talking to Bell?" Hestia groaned and tried to bury her face into the crook of my neck by rubbing her way up my body and frankly the act only made me want to stay in bed longer.

I knew if she thought I was taking advantage of her as a virgin goddess she would likely flip out so I shook her by the sides lightly and spoke softly "Uh Hestia its me Jake haha." I chuckled as the wriggling stopped and then I felt a hand trail up my back almost seemingly measuring my body size and the Goddess groaned and started headbutting my chest in frustration making me lose my breath with each repeated impact.

"Ok Hestia that's enough." I called out weakly and then unceremoniously pushed her off me and onto her side of the bed and then sat up yawning and prepared to get going but I literally just had to put back on my shoes and socks seeing as I didn't have anything else.

I was able to rig up some string and a towel to tie around the sword and thankfully Bell for whatever reason already had a sheath that could fit the knife so I was able to put the sword behind my back without having to worry about running around with an unsheathed blade like a psycho or having the blade rub up against my back.

The first thing we did after leaving the church and leaving Hestia to go back to sleep, was rush to a local pawn store which is where Bell got most of his gear and clothes after being in Orario. He already seemed to know a lot about the city and more importantly the places to avoid after being in the city for a bit over two weeks.

Walking into the Pawn store I saw it was manned by a dour looking dwarf who just nodded to me as a greeting and following the excited human shaped rabbit I entered the clothes section and after a few minutes of choosing I finally picked out a couple shirts and a leather jacket with an almost turtle neck because I was scared of getting a lucky hit to my throat by some monster, other injuries on the other hand I could get healed as long as I don't lose a limb or an eye with a couple potions and simple rest.

Other than the jacket I also got a few pair's of jeans although I didn't think they were denim they seemed really durable and that's why I picked it out... Wait I wonder if I were to combine armor with clothes would they become conceptually more durable or protective, hmm I don't know I will just have to test it out when Bell doesn't look like I am a succubus sucking the life out of him and his wallet.

"Hey Bell I just wanted to say thanks for the help getting clothes I am literally dirt poor." Literally all I had was the clothes on my back when I was sent here so I have no damn choice but too mooch on him sigh...

Bell just laughed out loud waving off my guilt. "Its alright! Just think of it as a welcoming gift to the Familia." He grinned out and I just sighed and gave him a little bro hug with a muffled thanks.