My Vampire Assistant

"It happened one summer somewhere around sixteen century, during one of my many travels. I was riding through a grove that spanned along a river. It was evening, not long past sunset, when I heard a woman's screams for help from the river shore. Of course, I immediately dismounted my horse and rushed to investigate."

I listened with rapt attention, crawling over my bed closer to the door to hear JJ better. His enchanting voice rose high and low, creating an entire melody of its own that I would've gladly listened even if JJ talked about, ugh, math.

"When I pushed though the thick undergrowth, paying for that with integrity of my hair and clothes, I saw a beautiful maiden, devoid of any visible clothing, trying her best to stay afloat in the river's current. Again, it didn't come to my head to think about what a young woman like her was doing in the river so late and so far away from the nearest settlement. No, I jumped in, not even taking off my boots."

I chortled in my fist at the self-reproach in JJ's voice. I didn't know what to expect next from the story, but I knew it was going to be good. When JJ didn't speak for more than two seconds, I had to prompt him, "So what happened next?"

"I swam to the woman with ease, but as soon as I grabbed her and tried to bring her to the shore, she grabbed me back and pulled me down. She wasn't very strong, not when compared with me, but I didn't expect such actions from her. But as soon as we both were underwater, I saw the fish tail that replaced her legs."

I perked up. Was the woman a mermaid?

"Now, ma chèrie, at the time I knew mermaids existed. I heard they were creatures that preyed on men, luring them into the water to drown with the beauty of their upper halves. This, though, was the first time I saw one in the flesh… It would be an understatement to say that I didn't expect it."

I mentally put mermaids in a column of real creatures, together with vampires and witches. The column of not real creatures for now only had dragons in it. Though, as interesting as mermaids were, I was much more curious about how JJ got out of that predicament.

"I wish I've seen your face then," I said, grinning. "What was next, what was next? Did you hypnotised the mermaid?"

"Nothing like that, ma chèrie. My shock was so great, that for several seconds, as embarrassing this is to admit, I did absolutely nothing, and that included breathing. You see, vampires don't need to breathe to live. It didn't take the mermaid very long to realise what I actually was, and then… Let's just say that these were several very awkward seconds for the both of us."

As I imagined that scene, with JJ and the mermaid, underwater, just trying to make some sense out of the situation, I couldn't help it. I dissolved into laughter for several seconds until I had to stop to blow my nose.

"After that she dropped me like a hot iron and swam away faster than I could blink," JJ continued when I finished. "I returned to my horse looking like a drenched rat, with my clothes stained in mud and my riding boots completely ruined by water. I learnt my lesson then. When I dived after the next drowning maiden, I took off my boots first."

"Was she a mermaid, too?"

"No, just a human. Later, she tried to thank me very close and personally for saving her, so I drank from her and convinced her to believe that she had the best night in her life with a traveller whose face or name she couldn't remember very well."

I chuckled, rising from my bed and rubbing my face. My tears had long since dried up, and my sorrows disappeared, if only for a while. I had to give it to JJ—I doubted he could've done better for me.

I opened the door to the room. JJ was leaning on a wall of the hallway, grinning at me with all his fangs. I gave him a cheeky smirk.

"So you couldn't be bothered to actually sleep with her, but your male pride still had to make sure that everyone knew you are the best?" I shifted my weight on a single leg and put my hands on my hips. "Or are you? You could just hypnotise your girlfriends to believe it."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realised I was giving JJ ammunition. Of course, he immediately used it.

"Diana," he said, slowly and sensually, like my name was a delicious candy he ate letter by letter. He leaned towards me, and I saw his pupils dilating from slits to ovals and red speckles appearing in his irises. "If you really want to know, you can just test me… I can't hypnotise you even if I wanted to."

I swallowed. With Andrey's appearance fresh in my memory, I couldn't help but compare JJ with him. JJ was almost a head shorter, and his muscles, while prominent, weren't as bulging… Something that I liked much more, I found out. Must've been because of all these bishōnens from light novel covers.

Then, where Andrey was dark, JJ was light. I always had a thing for that goth, edgy look, but where Andrey emanated broodiness, JJ oozed with pure charisma I couldn't ignore. It wasn't only looks, though he definitely fit in the eye-candy category.

It was the same thing that made me comfortable have him—a vampire, a damn vampire, who drinks human blood and can turn virtually invisible and probably lift cars with one hand!—living in my house. JJ had… I was going to just call it chill.

He lifted a hand to my face, and I didn't move, transfixed, until the icy touch of his fingers broke the spell, making me jerk away. Chill, indeed.

A moment later, JJ pulled from me with a sheepish smile on his lips. "I apologise, ma chèrie. I suppose for now you just have to trust me on my word."

I couldn't help but smile again, the previous light-hearted atmosphere returning. I wished I knew how to thank JJ for his moral support. If he was a human, I'd gave him food—a universal gift, in my opinion. While technically I could've given him blood, I wasn't that much grateful.

So, as my eyes darted around awkwardly, I said, "Thanks. For stopping by, I mean."

"It was no problem at all," JJ said, giving me an elegant half-bow. "Have a pleasant night, ma chèrie."

And like that, he left.