My Vampire Assistant

"Good morning, ladies. Will you introduce me to your friend, ma chèrie?"

I turned around to see JJ leaning on the door-frame with a charming smile. I glanced at Rita, who just returned from her daze, then back at JJ, whose eyes twinkled playfully, and resigned to my fate.

By now I knew JJ won't turn the situation into a disaster, but it was entirely within him and Rita both to fluster me thoroughly by the end of it. Compared to this, maybe the nervous anticipation of today's trade meeting was actually better. But I didn't have time to dwell on it.

I stood from my chair and pointed out with my hand. "Rita, this is Jean-Jacques. JJ, this is Rita. I'm pretty sure that you know already know plenty about each other from my words, anyway, so this is basically just a formality. Now please, Rita, stop eating him with your eyes. Have some dignity, woman!"

"Shooo." She waved a hand at me dismissively and stood up, forgetting her unfinished second breakfast. "Damn, Diana's descriptions didn't give you enough credit, Jean-Jacques. Can I call you just Jean?"

JJ strolled inside the kitchen. Despite the brightness of the day, it was shadowed enough for him to do that without sizzling, thanks to the fact that its windows never faced the sun.

"Of course, Rita." He executed a small bow of greeting for her, and the tomato red of Rita's face made me fear for her health. "It's a pleasure to see you in flesh after everything I've heard."

Now Rita turned to me at last. "You told Jean about me, girlfriend? This is so sweet of you."

I scratched my cheek in embarrassment, because as much as JJ knew from overhearing my phone calls, he probably knew more from the bits that fell from my lips in passing. Then again, I told Rita a lot about JJ, so we were even.

"Yes, yes." I sighed. "Well, since you are here, you might as well sit down with us, JJ."

"You sound unwelcoming." He didn't sound dispirited by that fact. Instead, he was smirking at me.

When he passed me on his way to a free chair, his arm brushed my shoulder. It was a small touch, almost accidental, but I knew better than that. I swallowed, forcing myself not to react. After all, if it really was accidental, this was just what I would've done.

"If I sound grumpy, it's because I mourn the loss of my friend who turns into a slobbering idiot whenever an attractive man enters the room."

"You know, I just take a moment to appreciate beauty. What? Are you jealous, girlfriend?" Rita sent me a knowing grin as she sat back in her seat.

I rolled my eyes. The last time she entered that slobbering state in my presence was thanks to Andrey, and the guy was a total asshole and deserved zero appreciation. I didn't want to bring him up, though. I was much happier having him out of sight, out of mind, and out of my contacts list.

"I'm not jealous," I said instead with a roll of my eyes. "We are just friends."

JJ leaned forward in his seat and propped his head on an elbow as he sent me an enthralling look from his half-hooded eyes. "Something I would be glad to change, though."

I snorted and raised my chin high. "You wish!"

"Come on, girlfriend, how can you look Jean in the eyes and say this? I mean… just look at him. Just think about it! If you were to lose your virginity with anyone, who would be better?"

I think I almost spontaneously combusted on the spot. "Rita!" I stared at her with clenched fists, afraid to look at JJ's face. "You can't… Ugh! You just can't!"

Rita smiled at me apologetically and scratched the back of her neck. "Sorry, Diana, maybe you are right. I just can't think very well when all my blood had left my brain, I guess?" She let out an awkward laughter and stuffed her mouth with food.

I fully expected JJ to comment on the revelation Rita threw in, but to my surprise, the only reaction I saw from him was a strange glint in his eyes. Even that disappeared in a moment, replaced by a bright smile.

"I have heard that you work in Hermitage, Rita. It's been a long while since I last walked through its halls. I wonder how much had changed, especially after the Second World War." He shook his head with a solemn expression. "I read no exhibits were lost in the city's siege, but it's still hard to believe."

It took Rita a moment to orient herself with the knowledge that JJ knew she knew he was a vampire. Then she began to chat animatedly about the museum's history. The crisis was averted, and I could relax and just keep shooting angry glances at her.

JJ continued to move the conversation onto the safe topics whenever it threatened to strive away from them and onto me or him. I could see curiosity burning in Rita's eyes, curiosity about JJ, but whenever she asked personal questions, he would evade.

About an hour later, I left the two of them alone and went to my room. I didn't wish to needlessly worry Rita with this, but my trepidations kept gnawing at me, brought back to life by JJ's presence. I wanted to calm them down the best way I could think of at the moment—that is, magic exercises.

I had been in the middle of practicing simple colour-changing spells on a bunch of hairbands when I saw JJ's aura behind the door. The power pulsing within it distracted me for a moment, and I breathed colour not into the hairband, but into the chair it was lying on.

I closed my well shut and opened my eyes to see that the dark brown chair now had a distinct blue tint to it, and to hear a knock on my door.

"Come in!"

I wondered what JJ wanted now. I also hoped that his appearance meant that Rita left already, because I was still fuming at her. Damn.. I hoped that whatever he came for was unrelated to what she had said.