No Wind or Rain

Yu Sichun didn’t know why she suddenly thought of those words.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She walked to the sofa to take off Du Jiayi’s shoes before looking for a thin quilt to cover him with.

She planned to cook some sobering up soup for him in the kitchen knowing he probably drank a lot of wine that night.

But when she got up, her right hand was grabbed. His voice sounded a little slurred and it carried a hint of drunkenness. “Sisi, look, I’m about to succeed…”

Yu Sichun lowered her head and then raised it after a while. She smiled but her smile looked somewhat bleak.

“Sisi, soon now…”

Yu Sichun wanted to yell loudly at him to shut up and stop calling her “Sisi”.

But she didn’t. She wasn’t even qualified to question him. Since she began to love him, that right no longer belonged to her.

So after a moment of utter silence, she pulled out her hand and went straight to the kitchen.

“Sisi, if I marry you, I will be good to you. I won’t let you suffer at all…”

She walked so fast that she almost ran into the kitchen door.

“Sisi…”

“Sisi…”

“Sisi…”

She closed the kitchen door and stood with her back against it. She used her hands to cover her face and tears could be faintly seen between her fingers.

Jiayi, your Sisi, who is she? 

Is it true that every time you call my name and look at my face, it’s the face of another person in front of you? 

Is it…? 

She adjusted her emotions and spread her hands in front of her. She stood there helplessly.

Do your feelings really run that deep? 

Can you really not forget her? 

What about me? 

What am I? 

Jiayi, my father once told me that a man’s heart can only be given out once. What about you? 

Is she that once for you? 

And I, no matter what, won’t count?  

After standing there for a long time, Yu Sichun’s legs began to go numb. She no longer continued to stay in a daze and adjusted her mood to begin making sobering soup.

Sobering soup was very easy to make and it was also very quick. She took a bowl of the soup to the living room. Du Jiayi was still lying there but he was no longer mumbling like before.

She went over to him and gently gave him a nudge: “Jiayi, Jiayi, wake up and drink some sobering soup. If you fall asleep like this then you’ll wake up with a headache tomorrow.”

“Uh…huh…Sisi?”

“En, wake up and drink the sobering soup. I’ll help you fill the water. After you finish drinking it, change your clothes and put it in the laundry with the other dirty clothes. I’ll wash them tomorrow.”

Yu Sichun said that with her back to Du Jiayi. After that, she went into the bathroom without waiting for Du Jiayi’s answer.

After Du Jiayi came out of the bathroom, he saw Yu Sichun sleeping with her back to him. In his memory, he rarely saw Yu Sichun like that. Perhaps it was because he came back a little late today.

It must have been hard for her to wait for him when she wasn’t used to sleeping so late. He saw her not sleeping well last night and today she also couldn’t sleep well. Soon, he felt guilt. He dried his hair with a towel until it was half dry and didn’t use a hairdryer. He was afraid that the sound would be too loud and disturb her.

Yu Sichun wasn’t asleep. She sat up and knelt down beside Du Jiayi. Then, she sat beside him on her knees and reached out to take the towel in his hands. She got out of bed to wash the towel and hung it up. Afterwards, she took the hairdryer to blow his hair. Her movements were gentle and careful, her docile appearance caused Du Jiayi’s heart to soften.

He said: “Domain A’s shares were traded today. We agreed three days ago to sign the contract on this day. I’ll try to come back earlier in the future. Don’t be angry now, okay?”

His tone was a little stiff, sounding like he was not used to giving such an explanation, but he understood her thinking very well. He didn’t say sorry but the explanation and promise made her feel a little unbearable.

There was a reason why she fell in love with this kind of man. Thinking about it, she smiled again. “I’m not angry, nor am I blaming you. I’ve just been in a bad mood recently.”

She wasn’t angry, she was just a little sad.

It was like she was stuck in a blank space where there was no way out.

Du Jiayi took her waist and planned to kiss her but she dodged him. Her body was even a little stiff.

For a moment, the air stagnated. After that moment of silence, she said. “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling too well.”

After a pause, she added. “Your hair is dry. Go to bed early. You still have to work tomorrow.”

“Wait a moment.” Du Jiayi held her in his arms and hugged her to the bed. He had drunk a lot of wine today and was in the right mood. Not to mention, he also ate a lot of seafood.

Yu Sichun heard his heavy breathing and his face was stained in a beautiful red colour.

After a while, Du Jiayi let her go and said. “Well, rest early. I’ll go to the guest room to sleep.”

“En.”

Yu Sichun knew that Du Jiayi wouldn’t sleep there because he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to help it. He had always been this considerate.

The night was extremely quiet as Yu Sichun laid in bed. She didn’t expect that dream to have such a great impact on her. The stiffness in the morning could be regarded as her still recovering from the sickness but what about the stiffness and subconscious dodge just now?

She still loved him but she had begun to reject his approaches. How did it become like this?

——

Neither of them mentioned it later, and just like that the days passed by very slowly without any special changes.

Yu Sichun began to translate some German books into Chinese and sent them to a publishing house. She already had some foundation in German and after a bit of studying, she soon became familiar with it.

The editor was very satisfied with her work and intended to have her change careers or to develop further in the area but she just said it was up to fate.

But fate was known to always be unpredictable so the editor just smiled and didn’t ask any more questions.

She didn’t give a definite answer because she understood the consequences of casual promises too well. She wouldn’t promise easily without any guarantees.

She never broke her word. As long as she promised, no matter how difficult it was, she would still try to do it.

——–

Du Jiayi had to go on a business trip suddenly, leaving her alone in a big empty house. After thinking about it, she decided to pay a visit to the Yu manor.

Her parents divorced when she was ten years old. Now they’re split with families of their own so it seemed that in the end, it was just her who was superfluous.

She hadn’t returned to the Yu manor in a long time so all the furniture was a little dusty. She spent the entire morning cleaning and from beginning to end she was the only one there.

When she was a child, her father was always busy with work and her mother often accompanied him. They would occasionally send some expensive gifts home but she never liked them. What she wanted was for the whole family to sit down and have a meal together. A quiet meal where they didn’t quarrel.

“Ring ring ring-”

“Hello, who is it?” Yu Sichun just came back from the supermarket and was putting the ingredients in the refrigerator. When she heard the phone ring, she didn’t see who it was and just put down the things in her hands to answer the phone.

“Sisi, where are you?”

Du Jiayi’s tired voice came from the phone. It sounded slightly hoarse. Yu Sichun could almost imagine him loosening his tie and lying down on the car seats with his left hand on his forehead.

“I’m at Yu manor.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Come over. I’m going to cook.”

“Okay.”

Yu Sichun put down her phone and saw that day’s news: “Young pianist Lu Sisi held a concert in Vienna which ended in success”.

Vienna?

Du Jiayi seemed to have just gone on a business trip to Vienna. Was it… really just a coincidence?

Unfortunately, she didn’t believe it.

Even if Du Jiayi no longer loved Lu Sisi, that didn’t mean their decade long friendship had ended nor did it mean that Du Jiayi wouldn’t care about Lu Sisi as a friend. It also didn’t mean Du Jiayi wouldn’t leave his work behind and go to Vienna for a concert organised by Lu Sisi.

She smiled.

She was laughing at herself but she didn’t know what she was laughing at.

——–

Du Jiayi arrived very quickly. As soon as she put the first dish on the table, she heard the doorbell ring and went over to open the door.

Du Jiayi wore a suit that was more formal than usual.

Maybe he really did just go to Vienna to talk about work, Yu Sichun thought.

“Why are you here?” He took off his coat and asked casually.

“I just thought of it and came to have a look.” Yu Sichun smiled and placed the last dish on the table.

“En.” Du Jiayi nodded and remembered that Yu Sichun couldn’t see it so he verbally answered.

All of a sudden, she didn’t know what to say and remained silent until she closed the kitchen door to ask. “Is work going smoothly?” Her tone seemed casual but also a little meaningful. Even she couldn’t tell the difference.

“It’s not bad. Sisi, next time I go on a business trip, I’ll take you with me.”

Du Jiayi seemed to have thought of something and his handsome face showed a little smile.

“Okay.” Yu Sichun nodded. “Let’s eat. The food will get cold soon.”

Du Jiayi nodded and handed Yu Sichun what he bought on the trip. He said nothing about giving this gift or anything. He had always been like that. He wouldn’t deliberately emphasise what he was giving or how to treat her but his every move was meaningful. What he brought home for her every time he went on a business trip was all different. It seemed like he was deliberately trying to compensate for something but such compensation was really better than nothing for her increasingly desolate heart.

“Sisi asked me to give this to you on her behalf.”

Yu Sichun looked up and saw that it was a copy of the book “Wasteland.”

It was a collection of poems by one of her favourite poets.

There was always that kind of person in the world that makes you like them when in reality, you know you should hate them. They had a charm that made you grow addicted to them.

Lu Sisi was one of these people.

""

“Miss Lu, is she good?” Yu Sichun looked at the collection of poetry and asked.

“What wouldn’t she be? She had reached her dream and became the world’s top pianist. Her career has reached a height beyond the reach of many other people’s. She’s doing well.” Du Jiayi smiled in surprise at her question.

“Is that the case? Maybe…”

Maybe she had begun to regret leaving?

Of course, Yu Sichun didn’t say the latter part of that sentence.

She was too sensitive and petty. She always disgusted herself and that made her think that others were also as disgusting as her.

Such a self was really difficult to come to terms with, she was embarrassed.

She tried to drive that idea away and looked at the gentle smile of the man in front of her and tried to smile gently too.

“What did you say?” Du Jiayi gave Yu Sichun a spoonful of Kung Pao chicken. He didn’t hear what Yu Sichun said earlier and asked.

Yu Sichun lowered her head and poked the carrots in the dish with her chopsticks. “Nothing. Let’s go home after eating.”

Du Jiayi nodded and asked. “Don’t you want to stay here for one night?”

“Alright, it’s getting late. You can go shopping with me later.” Yu Sichun looked up at Du Jiayi as he answered.

""

“Okay.”