North x Northwest

The sea breeze was fluttering Lil’s hair as well as Ed’s. Thanks to that, the cold sweat that formed on his nape cooled down quickly. It felt like his head was split in half by the blade of an axe. 

 – Schwaaa… – 

The sound of the waves crashing on shore came and went. Ed mumbled to himself.

“…Stay calm. She may still be out of her mind seeing she hasn’t taken out her sword yet…”

The wind wasn’t strong enough to sting, making it possible for them to look at each other’s clear eyes.

“Koud Bhan?”

Ed wasn’t sure if he’d appear like a woman or if Lil would recognize him through his voice, but knowing how strongly she smelled of alcohol reassured him that everything was still under control. Still, Ed was feeling uneasy, so he unwittingly tightened his throat to change his voice.

“He’s just out to drink. When he’s tired of grazing, he’ll be back.”

“Lies.”

“…”

Ed swallowed a sigh that almost came out of his mouth. He didn’t know what to do.

‘Does she want me to give her another ride?’

“Koud Bhan died a long time ago.”

“…”

“It’s true. He’s gone.”

“…”

Lil’s eyes slowly rolled towards the sky. As soon as he got out of her sight, Ed hurriedly ripped off the necklace.

“But you came back to me. Is this a dream?”

“…”

She slowly blinked her eyes.

“Even if this is just a dream, I’m grateful. I don’t know any dreams other than nightmares… When you were still alive, you lit up my world and when you died, you illuminated my dreams. You were the only thing that was bright in my life…”

“…”

“That time, I couldn’t go to the stables, that’s why I didn’t even know I had already lost you. No one said anything to me, so I didn’t know where you went. I only knew that I could no longer hug or see you.”

“…”

“I was with you from the moment you were born, from the moment you slipped from your mother’s body, covered in fluid. But life was cruel and you were torn away from me forever. Was it because I chased the wind that I shouldn’t have gone after?”

Ed responded to her dazed eyes that seemed to be wandering through a daydream.

“Why are you saying you shouldn’t have chased the wind? I told you, the wind favours you. As far as I can see, it’s always been like that, for a very long time.”

“…”

“Anyone can chase the wind. Even a newborn child can already feel the wind despite it being wrapped carefully. And when that child grows a little older and runs in a meadow to play, they’ll undoubtedly feel a gust of wind. It’s entirely natural.”

Lil returned her glance to him, her eyes moving erratically in frozen movements. Ed used this opportunity to move his hand behind his back, hiding the necklace. Fortunately, Lil didn’t seem to notice what he was up to at all. Ed, who’d been distracted by the ability of the relic only moments ago, now stared at her as if he was under some kind of spell. Her bloodshot eyes seemed to hold more tears than usual, he couldn’t tell if it was because of the alcohol or Koud Bhan.

“You…”

“…”

Lil slowly raised her hand. Ed knew what was going to happen, so he bowed his upper body awkwardly. A hand that felt much smaller and lighter than before rested on the top of his head.

“Who are you?”

He hesitated for a moment, debating if he should answer honestly or not.

“It’s me, Ed.”

“Oh…”

“…”

The fingers on his head relaxed and Lil began to stroke his hair. It was a pet-like gesture, but Ed found it a quiet heart-warming experience. In this unprecedented mood, he slowly changed his posture and lay on his side next to her while she was still rubbing his crown. Somehow, he had no intention of stopping her cute act any time soon, so Ed stretched his legs and rested his face on one arm. Lil then blinked and opened her mouth.

“You… are an interesting person.”

Ed smirked while raising his eyebrows.

“I’m interesting? Since when?”

“Well… from today?”

“That’s disappointing. I thought it was from a long time ago.”

“…”

Lil snorted, finding it ridiculous. As a result, some of the grains of sand that had been attached to her chin and her lips fell off. Ed unhesitatingly brushed away the rest of the sand that had clung to her hair and cheek after rolling around in the white sand.

‘Just this morning, she was so angry because she was hit by a lump of dirt, but now she’s lying on the sandy beach without a care in the world.’ 

Ed recognized her drunkenness anew and slowly relaxed his mind.

“What do you want to know? I’ll tell the Captain everything.”

Lil muttered hazily as if she was talking to someone in her dream.

“…Are you a farmer* too?..”

As Ed’s eyes were a little higher than hers, he had to glance down at Lil, who was still patting his temples with her fingers. He was amused to observe her when she was staring at him as if he were a mysterious creature. Her eyes were filled with curiosity, forcing her brows to furrow and form creases between them. Ed thought about pressing those delicate wrinkles with his finger.

“No. The Captain’s a farmer. Being a farmer for a guy like me doesn’t make any sense.”

“Then what the hell are you?”

“Hm, well. A passer-by who wants to peek at the farmer’s seed?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a lowlife, Captain. I want to hear the Captain’s story, not mine.” 

“I never thought I’m that great.”

“I never asked for something great.”

“…”

A land breeze blew over them. Lil suddenly expressed a new level of interest. She rolled her eyes and tightened her lips in a cute manner. Ed was delighted to notice her wide range of expressions. With her petite face, concave eyes, nose, and mouth, all her facial muscles were moving so easily. Because he’d only seen her stiff and anxious, he had never imagined she would show such emotions. While Ed gazed in awe at the stunning changes that renewed every few moments, Lil simply looked him straight in the eyes. Noticing her intense stare, Ed bit his lower lip. 

‘Since a while ago, I have had the urge to suck in that unresistable innocent gaze… After kissing those teary eyelids without leaving a single drop behind, I would go a little lower and kiss her mouth. Her lips look so sweet…’

“…Don’t look at me like that.”

“…”

Admittedly, it wasn’t just intellectual curiosity that Ed desired from Lil. It may have begun as curiosity, but at some point, it had gone far beyond that. He was now fighting against his impulses and for Ed, who worships reason above everything else, it was a real struggle. His desire was stirring him up more and more. 

At first, Ed grimley wiggled his body. But when his lingering feelings continued, he finally sat up with his back towards Lil.

He rubbed his earlobe hard enough to pull it off. He was insecure with himself, like when he experienced passion for the first time all those years ago. Ed sat for a while, calming his aching heart, and then straightforwardly spoke to the quiet Lil.

“Tell me the Captain’s story.”

“…”

Still, Lil didn’t answer. Ed was dissatisfied with the silence, so he suppressed his passionate thoughts and he stretched out to lay down next to her again.

“Captain. The night is dark, so I can’t see you. Also, the waves are noisy, so I can’t hear you well. What are you ashamed of? With the noisy waves, your clumsy words will be covered.”

Lil was still dazed, it was hard for her to understand what Ed was saying. Although she comprehended bits of it like she shouldn’t feel ashamed, she knew that if she didn’t focus, she’d quickly miss the context. It didn’t help that each sentence she heard reverberated through her ears, adding to her headache. It was only then that Lil realised that she had drunk too much. 

‘Was it just one bottle of Qanyon? Two bottles?’ 

Nevertheless, she didn’t know that her level of intoxication could rise this quickly. She deliberately wanted to get drunk, but her feelings didn’t improve at all. 

‘Who said that alcohol is the best way to forget loneliness and sorrow?’

Doing something reckless like this had normally no place in her meticulous nature. But for now she was content with enjoying the experience she’d always been a little interested in. And although she was terribly dizzy, she felt fortunate to have had such a humorous experience. However, she’d never repeat it again.

‘It’s my first time, but also my last. That’s it. From now on, every moment will be the last for me. Helping this sad island, to be the Captain of a sailing ship, to climb on the stern and command the route… All this enjoyment will come to an end and a completely different life will begin. The voyage will take about 15 days at most…’

– – – – –

Footnote:

*Farmer: Lil’s referring to the farmer of Ed’s story about the beast with the special seed (vol2. chapter 66). She’s basically asking if Ed also has a ‘seed’; a philosophy, a particular vision on life or humanity, a strong belief in making something happen or making a difference.