North x Northwest

As she recounted those words, Lil flicked her eyelids open.

“Captain! Wake up!”

Lil recognized the face of the man that was approaching her.

“Ed?”

When Lil tried to get up, Ed placed his hand on her forehead and pressed her head down again.

“I’m glad you recognise me, but you shouldn’t get up so quickly.”

“What’s going on?”

“Do you know where you are?”

“Did I lose my consciousness?”

“You did.”

Lil laid her head on a soft, unknown surface. When the skin of her head felt like it was ripped off, she realised that her forehead had indeed been torn. She meticulously recalled her memories.

“This must be the Captain’s room on the Marian.”

Ed nodded his head.

“…Captain…”

A large hand grabbed hers as if it had been right next to her all this time. It was Cesar’s voice and Cesar’s hand. Because Lil feared that the intimacy would look suspicious to Ed, she pulled her weak fingers from his grasp.

“How much time has passed?”

“It’s been less than an hour.”

“Report to me the details.”

Cesar intervened from the side.

“It would be better for you to receive the report after taking a little more rest.”

Lil sighed and gritted her teeth. She was annoyed by the fact that whenever she tried to do something, the only response that came back to her was to save herself. It has been like that for the last few battles. 

‘Just because I don’t receive the report now doesn’t mean that I could rest in peace. He’s only focused on me again. I don’t know why he keeps doing this. Of course, I know he cares about me, but I think he doesn’t need to worry, and I don’t want him to. I don’t want to be an immature and imperfect being that burdens him.’

“Report to me the details.”

“There is nothing to report. The situation and the casualties haven’t been completely determined.”

“Then figure out the situation and come back. Or I’ll have to go out myself.”

“Don’t be so reckless.”

Normally she would have endured it, but just as her body got injured, her patience had been weakened as well, so Lil revealed her annoyance.

“Hah… Cesar…”

“Why do you call me like that? Are you upset because I advised you to take care of yourself since you were injured? What do you think I’d think if you said this as soon as you woke up after losing consciousness?”

“Please, I’m not ignoring you, of course I know I have to be careful, but I’m not as weak and stupid as you think.”

“I don’t mean it like that. I’m not doing this because I think you’re stupid, I’m just worried about you. Don’t mix those two up.”

But Lil couldn’t stand it and raised her voice.

“If you really think that way, then help me fulfil my role as a commander. I’m the Captain! Right now, I’m lying down like a sick person, but knowing the situation would at least make me feel a bit more comfortable! I know you’re worried, but it doesn’t change my mind!”

“Why would you take such a risk? You’ll only end up in a worse state than you’re now.”

“Pushing myself this far won’t kill me. It’s my call, my body, my decision! I understand your concern, but I can’t stand it that you’re stopping me from doing my part… No, wait… Why are you even here? You have to act on my behalf!”

“Alain and Jericho are in charge outside.”

“How can you leave your position out there? I’m… I’m going crazy!”

“How can I be calm when you’re here like this?”

“Are you saying you left your position to worry about me? How can you disrespect me like this?”

“Did you just say… that I don’t respect you? Who else respects you as much as I do?”

“Woah, woah. Calm down, you two. Are you fighting?”

As the last voice came from someone who seemed clearly amused by the situation, Lil and Cesar responded simultaneously.

“…Stay out of it, doctor…”

“…Ed, shut up…”

“…”

“Doctor. Step out for a bit. After a while, I’ll…”

Lil cut Cesar’s words harshly.

“No.”

“..!”

Lil pulled Ed’s sleeve closer to her. Ed was taken aback when he felt his sleeve tightening. However, Lil immediately continued, leaving him without a moment to worry about such trivial actions.

“Don’t go anywhere, Ed.”

“Lil!”

“Are you not only deciding my fate here but also what my crew should do? I won’t allow any more worrying. You get out. Go out and do your job!”

“..!”

“Navigator. I’m sorry to interrupt, but the Captain really needs stability.”

The last words came from Ed.

Cesar couldn’t believe his eyes. With dry saliva running through his rough throat, he stared at a calm Ed who didn’t refuse Lil’s hand. Cesar retracted his hand that Lil had let go. His clenching fists trembled in anger and humiliation.

Although he was furious, Ed’s words couldn’t be ignored. The captain needed stability, and their fight would only escalate in exchanging shouts between him and Lil. Cesar watched helplessly as he saw Ed naturally attached to her, then turned his back and walked out of the captain’s room.

Lil stared at Cesar’s back, wide-eyed. Her guilt had already taken over after she lost her patience and spouted those words. When his stiff shoulders caught her eye just before the door closed, all kinds of regrets poured in through the remaining gaps of the door. The door slammed shut with a bang. The regret that filled the room seemed as if it would crush her, leaving her feeling compelled to open the door and apologise to him right away.

But at the same time, she felt so angry that it drove her mad. It was almost inevitable that Cesar, especially on days when she got hurt, violated their code as he always put Lil’s safety first. On those days he treated her like her body was made of glass and she was forced to do nothing but rest. 

‘Ignoring me, ignoring the Bell Rock… It’s always been like that, but today it’s harder to bear. It’s our last voyage, can’t he make an exception, even just once?’ 

As she was pitifully staring at the door, Ed, who had been watching for quite some time, opened his mouth.

“I intervened because the Captain really needs stability. May I start the examination now?”

“All right.”

“Do you have a headache or nausea?”

“No.”

“Move your right foot.”

It was a routine procedure performed on someone who just woke up after losing consciousness. While Lil silently performed several actions according to his words, Ed looked at her with an ever more cautious look. As he stared intently and touched her body, her tensed nerves from her quarrel with Cesar began to react. Lil’s attention was naturally paid to Ed’s breath and gestures. She felt more and more like she was lying naked and struggled to remind herself that he wouldn’t see her as a woman.

“There’s no loss of disorientation and no signs of confusion, but I’d like to wait a little longer. It isn’t good that there was a gap between the moment of injury and the loss of consciousness. It would be fortunate if it was caused by the wound on your forehead instead of the fall.”

“I definitely covered my head when I fell.”

“Then why is your forehead like that? It’s not hurt from the impact?”

“It got split open by a rope.”

Ed wrinkled his face when he heard something he didn’t know before.

“I see, so that’s why it had been torn in such a messy way. I tried my best to close it as neatly as possible, but it took me over 13 stitches…”

“If you’re going to nag, stop it.”

“If I won’t nag like this, then I’m not a good doctor.”

“I told you to stop. You’re starting to annoy me now. What do you all think about me… Do I look that weak?”

“Calm down. Why are you so irritated? Relax and think happy thoughts. That’s what you should be doing during an examination.”

Lil couldn’t get any angrier because Ed was so calm. At times like this, he looked a lot older. She tried, but eventually gave up on recalling good memories as she didn’t have many to begin with.

“When will you finish?”

“Just wait a moment.”

“…”

Ed took out his notebook and pen and eagerly wrote something. His hand holding the pen between his fingers scratched his earlobe, then went down and held his chin. The feather pen, which she didn’t know where it had come from, was beautifully curled up under his lips. Lil suddenly started to wonder if Ed had several personalities. 

‘Whenever he exudes such literate vibes, I can’t help but wonder if he’s the same person as the usually cheerful and puppy-like guy…’

“Please take off your shirt now.”

“…What?”