Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day

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Chapter 34

The moment he was about to turn around and try to leave again, a small hand quickly held him back. Hert looked back at Tessa with an annoyed expression on his face, wondering what else again this time. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth.

“…What will change if I answer everything?”

“What?”

“I… betrayed… betrayed the lord… that’s an unchanging fact…. If I speak up… will it… will this change?”

Tessa wrinkled her nose the entire time she spoke. It felt like she was going to burst into tears at any moment because there was only one thing she could say to have the courage to say this.

In fact, there were many times when she wanted to reveal everything. She was deceived, too. She was dragged here against her will. She wanted him to know that she was falsely accused.

But she couldn’t. If everything in the world was so easy, this would not have happened in the first place. Looking at Hert, her voice hardly came out. She felt out of breath.

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‘And looking back, it’s my fault…. I was the one who pushed him to hell.’

No matter how much she wanted to assert that she was also a victim, in the end, she was only a perpetrator to Hert. She wouldn’t have signed the contract if she had been careful and not ignorant. Hert wouldn’t have been sold as a gladiator slave. So she was at fault, too.

Tessa couldn’t say this either.

“That’s right, I… I came here because I want to… eat well and live well. What more should I say? You’ve already seen it all…. You know… what kind of person I am now….”

But, contrary to her feelings, tears fell from the corners of her eyes. Even though she had promised not to cry in front of Hert, tears came out of her eyes this time as well. How miserable. How wretched. In the end, she was so upset that she could say only this, so she couldn’t stop crying.

“Just… Punish me. I’ll bear it all. As the Lord wishes… I can do everything. I never thought from the beginning that I could pay for all my sins with one body anyway. Because that wouldn’t make sense….”

She never thought in the first place that she could be forgiven by Hert just for her giving him her body. If that would ease Hert’s wounded heart, even a little… If he would be satisfied with this, she just thought this would be a good thing. For that alone, she was grateful.

So Tessa wanted Hert to treat her badly. so that she wouldn’t be able to think of anything. So that there is no false hope that things might get better.

It had nothing to do with harsh words or bitter violence. Abuse was always inflicted upon her. The person abusing her only switched from the Young Marquis to Hert. Nothing changed.

Tessa also thought that it was best to sleep with Hert. Because when he pushed her so harshly, she couldn’t think of anything like that.

So she’d rather he treat her rudely. She could be locked up in a room or locked up in a dungeon. Or, as he has always done, she doesn’t mind him calling her at any time to satisfy his desires.

“It’s okay to hit me, it’s okay to treat me however you want…. After all, my life depends on the Lord. So if you give me all the punishment and if your anger doesn’t go away after that, you can kill me at any time….”

“Are you crazy?!”

Suddenly Hert shouted loudly. Tessa groaned and lowered her head even further. She could feel his rough breaths right above her.

“Kill? That word again. You seem to think you have many lives…!”

Hert threw the sword that was hanging from his waist. The heavy sword made a dull sound and rolled in front of Tessa.

“Why do I have to kill you? If you want to die, go die by yourself. I don’t want to get my hands dirty.”

At that, Tessa looked blankly at the sword Hert had thrown. To kill herself? She didn’t know much about swords, but she knew that if a blade like that pierced her stomach, she would die. It was the moment when Tessa slowly reached out her hand towards his sword.

But then, he kicked the sword away.

“Ah….”

As the sword was flung to the other side in an instant, Tessa looked up at Hert in surprise. He grabbed Tessa by the collar.

“You… Are you really going to die?”

“…….”

“Tell me, you really want to die, don’t you?!”

At the man’s question, Tessa opened her mouth without saying a word. She really couldn’t understand why Hert was angry with her. Why was he so mad? Wasn’t he a person who didn’t even blink when the Young Marquis’ dagger stabbed her in the neck? But why here? It was strange. Her throat clenched up so much that she couldn’t make a sound.

“Damn it!”

When Tessa didn’t say anything, Hert swore. Then he opened his mouth with an expression that was harsher than ever.

“Don’t die in front of me.”

“…….”

“Don’t ever die in front of me.”

“…….”

“Tell me you understand. No…. Say you won’t die.”

Was it because of the atmosphere that it almost seemed like he was begging? Tessa continued to look at Hert without saying a word. In the meantime, tears were flowing nonstop from the corners of her eyes. As a result, her vision becomes wet with water and becomes increasingly blurred. She couldn’t even see what kind of face the man was making. But it was clear that he was angry.

“Like you said, your life is mine. So hurry up and say you won’t die!”

If it weren’t for that, that figure would be bothered, and Hert couldn’t be bothered because of me.

Tessa nodded her head faintly, thinking she was seeing something in vain again.

“…I will not die.”

“You said it with your mouth. That you won’t die. Just try to die without my permission, just try it. I will never forgive you. You will be tortured all the time.”

“…….”

“Do you understand?”

“…Yes.”

After Tessa answered, Hert let go of her collar. Then he rubbed his face with his big palms. Occasionally, unfamiliar curse words flowed out of his mouth. After a while, Hert, who had stopped rubbing his face, reached out, this time cautiously, towards Tessa.

“Don’t cry.”

“…….”

“Stop crying.”

His hot hands rubbed her eyelids. This time, Tessa couldn’t stop shedding tears. Again he was being kind. But she still doesn’t know why.

If it wasn’t for sex, then what was it? There was no need for him to be kind to the traitor. Tessa couldn’t understand Hert’s intentions, and her mind was in turmoil.

‘What does Hert want from me?’

It would have been easier if it was clear that he wanted only her body. Tessa hated herself as she thought about crossing the line over and over again as she saw Hert’s actions.

No, Hert didn’t have any feelings for her anymore. He despised her. Just thinking about what she did to him, what kind of man would continue to like the woman who sold him?

Tessa was constantly reminding herself that it wasn’t possible, but she couldn’t let go of her last hope.

Perhaps… What if Hert still had feelings for her?

She was terrified, but at the same time, she couldn’t stop the thought. Even though she knew that it was futile to be thinking like this.

Tessa grabbed Hert’s cuff as he grabbed her and led her to bed. Rather… Would it be possible to try and find out, even a little bit? What was his truth? He gave her a sword and then took it back. Why was he telling her not to die?

“…me.”

“I can’t hear you.”

“…Hold me.”

Tessa courageously looked up at Hert as he laid her down on the bed. Hert was staring at her with an unknown face.

“Please…. Can’t you hold me? It doesn’t matter if I become a mess….”

She wanted to know the answer to this confusing situation. No, maybe that was an excuse and she just wanted Hert. She wondered if the boy who embraced her so tightly every time she was sick still existed. Like back then, the arms of this man in front of her now could feel warm.

“Hold me, please….”

“…….”

“Please….”

Olive-colored eyes wet with tears begged. Even the woman’s slender hands grabbed Hert and did not let him go. Hert didn’t say a word for a while, then lowered his head and began to devour Tessa’s lips.

Damn it.

“Are you busy?”

At the sound of the bubbly voice, Elena, who was talking with the maid, looked back. By the doorway stood Janet, with her long brown curly hair. Dressed in a light black robe over her nightgown, she casually entered the room and flopped down on the sofa.

“Why did you come?”

“Look at this, even when a guest has come, the hospitality is not very good. You didn’t want to see me?”

“I saw you yesterday.”

Elena beckoned the maid to go away, dragging the wheelchair towards where Janet was sitting.

Janet crossed her legs as she glanced at Elena’s maid as she took off her coat. The old stairway that made a creaking sound was as quiet as a dead mouse when the maid went down.

Janet smiled and opened her mouth.

“I have prepared everything. Things will go smoothly.”

“As it should.”

“More than that, I thought I wouldn’t be able to come for a while, so I stopped by. There is one person who does not like me.”

Tenacious guy. Janet licked her lips, recalling someone with dark gray hair. Elena, on the other hand, had a carefree expression as she picked up the knitting she had left on one side of her.

“That’s fine. Be careful coming here in the future. It’s not good for people to know that you’re coming and going here.”

“Hmph, I’ve been going in and out for the past two years, but I’ve never been caught.”

Janet leaned her back against the backrest and looked around. Through the window, she saw beneath the bright moonlight the Jutert estate in the distance. As a family with a long history, it was so big and beautiful that it was impossible to describe the size and location of the Jutert estate.

However, she didn’t have the leisure to admire it. After everything was over with, this place would become nothing but a wasteland.

Janet looked at the Marchioness in front of her again. Her hands, full of scars and wrinkles, had been concentrating on knitting for a while. It was surprising to see that it gradually took its shape.

“Is it fun?”

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