Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day

Time passed without a hitch. Janet’s departure day was fast approaching, and Tessa met the marchioness once a day to learn to write. There was nothing unusual going on with her relationship with Hert either. However, Tessa couldn’t erase the anxiety that had been weighing down her heart since that day

.

‘Don’t hide anything from me.’

To this day, Tessa chewed on the words Hert had said before, and she wondered if she had missed something. Don’t hide anything, he said… It was as if there was a needle in her mouth. Or did he know everything? So, was he tacitly warning her now that he was giving her one last chance?

‘Then I…’

While Tessa was anxious and restless, about to put her thumb to her mouth to chew off her nail, it was at that moment. There was a rattling sound of the wheelchair, and the marchioness called Tessa. Tessa?

“You can’t concentrate all day today.”

“Ah… I’m sorry, Madam…”

“What’s going on?”

Elena gently asked Tessa, who had been staring blankly at the book since before. Tessa hurriedly schooled her features and shook her head. She couldn’t tell anyone about Hert. She said in a low, quivering voice.

“No, nothing…”

Elena watched closely as Tessa grabbed the pen again, which she had accidentally dropped. It was clear that she was hiding something, but Elena did not bother to ask. Perhaps it had something to do with the lord. Elena pointed her finger at the writing on the paper.

“This one’s misspelled. You should write it the other way around. Of course, it is easy to confuse this letter with that letter, but it is good to distinguish and remember them accurately. The words can take on a different meaning with just one difference.”

“Yes…”

“And the wording in this part is awkward. Is there any other wording? Think about it.”

“…What about this?”

“Oh, that’s a lot better. I think you expressed it well here.”

Tessa’s darkened expression brightened a little at Elena’s praise. With a more confident hand, she began to write down a sentence on the blank piece of paper.

“Then, is it okay to write it like this? The grammar…”

“It’s good though? It’s not awkward. Tessa, your skills are improving day by day. At this rate, you will no longer need my help.”

“It’s not…”

Tessa wiggled her hand and shook her head slowly.

Clearly, her writing skills were constantly improving. Tessa’s efforts were a testament to this, but Elena’s sincerity and efforts in teaching her with great detail without ever being angry with Tessa needed its credit, too. Had it not been for Elena, Tessa would have given up learning to write before she could memorize the spelling.

“It’s all because of your help, Madam…”

Even though it was frustrating for Tessa, who struggled and lacked knowledge three or four times more than others, Elena did not show that expression and always smiled and slowly picked up the parts that Tessa did not know. Thanks to that, Tessa was gradually gaining confidence in learning new things, not just with writing alone.

“Still, it’s the result of your hard work, Tessa. Even if you have a great teacher, what will be gained if the student has no desire to learn?”

Elena smiled quietly as she glanced at the traces that showed how Tessa had practiced countless times in the notebook. It was because she imagined Tessa holding on to the book and continuing her studies, mumbling the words to herself as she returned home. As she said to the new lord, Tessa was someone who could do her part with ease if she learned to do it.

“You are doing very well now. So I’m happy to have a student like Tessa. Seeing you like this makes me think it’s worth teaching.”

At the series of compliments from the Marchioness, Tessa closed her mouth and her face reddened. She was not yet immune to praises poured out in a short time. For that reason, whenever she heard such kind words, her body did not move at her will and creaked like a broken tool. A peal of laughter left Elena’s lips. Even this was cute.

“More than that, how about we stop studying writing for today and write a letter next? To compose one.”

“…Compose?”

“Yes. With what you’ve learned so far, compose a letter to Missus Vellodem. Because it won’t be long now.”

“Ah…”

“If you give her a letter with a gift, she will be very happy, don’t you think?”

Tessa couldn’t answer easily and fiddled with her fingers. Truthfully, she wasn’t confident. It was because she found it difficult to write a letter to someone apart from learning to write.

She wondered if Janet would be happy to receive her letter, which would be so messed up with her childish writing skills. Most of all, when it comes to letters, there were some things that reminded her of that event a long time ago and she felt uncomfortable.

‘I made a promise to Janet though…’

Let’s try our best to give one to her. Tessa made up her mind and took a little courage. What does it mean to learn to write when she can’t even write a letter? Tessa tightened her hand holding the pen.

“Don’t feel too pressured. I’ll help and check it once before you give it.”

“…Thank you.”

“Have you thought about what could be a good gift?”

“Gift…”

Tessa pondered the Marchioness’ words. A gift that Janet might like, or a gift that might suit Janet… But she could hardly think of anything. Most of what Janet wants, she thinks Janet already has it.

“If you haven’t thought about it yet, go and think about it today.”

“…….”

“The content doesn’t have to be too grandiose, so don’t be pressured with it.”

“Yes…”

“Then see you tomorrow. Be careful on the way back.”

Elena saw Tessa off as she left the room

. The sun was shining in the hallway.

She looked out the window and looked up at the blue sky, wondering if she could take a walk for a moment before returning to her room. It was a very sunny day for her to be alone in her room, and she wanted to refresh her complicated head.

Besides, there was still about an hour left until lunch.

“Madam, His Excellency says he will not be able to join lunch today.”

Then a knight waiting outside the room quietly spoke to Tessa. Today, Hert seemed very busy.

Tessa nodded her head, and then she headed down the stairs. Behind her, two escort knights and a maid naturally followed.

There was no one in the garden that was connected to the castle. Originally, it was a place where only the lord’s family could go in and out. Except for Janet, who was staying in the annex, only Hert, Tessa, and the marchioness, who were staying at the castle, were allowed to freely enter this place. Thanks to this, Tessa was able to quietly enjoy the walk in the garden.

She slowly walked the same path as yesterday with a slow but straight gait. The sound of her rustling footsteps tickled her ears. The gentle breeze was also pleasant. It was an incredibly peaceful morning. For that reason, it felt like a mirage in the desert that seemed to disappear at any moment.

“…….”

Tessa, who was only walking quietly, suddenly looked down at her clothes.

The silk dress made of high-quality fabric was shiny, and the shoes made by layering several leathers were comfortable without putting any strain on her feet. The expensive trinkets adorning her neck and ears also shimmered, twinkling, and iridescent with every step she took.

All of them were things that did not suit her,

All of this did not fit her reality.

If this was a dream, it’s to the point where she didn’t want to wake up forever.

Tessa was still stunned by this moment’s tranquility as it came to her. Every morning she opened her eyes, she couldn’t believe it. She felt like she was inside a dream. Because she thought her life would always be a hell of abuse and neglect.

‘Damned bitch!’

Those days when she desperately endured the endless beatings and cold apathy, and hoped that tomorrow would not come. She thought if there was an end, she would eventually be thrown away and end her life with only swallowing pain. As she thought that way, she gave up and lived as if she had let go of everything.

Of course, some would rebuke her and say that she needed to be more determined, but she couldn’t stand it. As long as hope was shattered and gone, it was ridiculous to have even a semblance of resolve.

In the meantime, all Tessa could do was forget herself so that she could survive even for one day.

With that, she was broken and stuck together repeatedly every morning.

For the past seven years, Tessa lived to die yet not able to die.

She felt her mind breaking down day by day, and her words stuttered, she shut her mouth, lowered her head, and withdrew her body. She tried to ruin herself even more, thinking about what could be more ruined next time.

Because she didn’t think it could get any better. Because her hell was right here, and she was sure it would be her last frontier.

But she never dreamed that she would be able to walk freely in the vast garden while wearing nice clothes and eating good food.

To receive such kind treatment that it overflowed. Even Hert, who she thought was dead, was still alive in front of her.

It was all unexpected.

Tears welled up in her eyes. It made Tessa smile sadly that she could feel the warm sunlight and soft wind pouring down on her.

She also deeply felt how much things she had left behind in life. So her heart ached even more. She had never been so resentful of herself for being ruined.

‘If I had been a little more ordinary… If I had lived a little longer and didn’t completely let go of everything…’

Wouldn’t she be feeling this less?

The situation may have been very different. She could have explained the circumstances behind her betrayal as soon as she met Hert. She could have admitted that she had been abused, and she could have asked Hert for sympathy and mercy. She could have started it all out with learning to write first, and she could have demanded that the young marquis be punished before he even escaped.

And this anxiety, which was constantly seeping in, would have been shaken away quickly.

‘Don’t hide anything from me.’

Tessa stood there and looked down at the ground for an endless moment.

She was so sick of herself as she stayed stagnant in one place.