Not Knowing The Betrayal Of That Day

Chapter 89

“What about your legs? Can you walk?”

“Yes… It’s a bit odd… I think it will be alright…”

“Tell me right away if you can’t walk. Don’t overdo it.”

I know how weak your legs are, said Hert again, checking Tessa’s condition. Tessa’s face went bright red because he was treating as though she was a newborn baby deer. Her legs were very weak and were shaking a lot, but it wasn’t that bad.

‘What does Hert think of… my body?’

Of course, Tessa knew that her body was not as healthy as others. But even so, she thought it was not so bad that she needed help because she couldn’t walk on her own. Above all, she was certain that even if her legs had become like this, if only Hert had not touched her, she would have been able to recover quickly.

It didn’t look like it would be easy for the time being.

Eventually, Tessa moved little by little, following Hert, who was walking along with her slow steps. And she unconsciously smiled faintly at the touch of the grass, which she hadn’t felt in a long time. For some reason, she couldn’t believe what was happening right now.

Come to think of it, the bright blue color of the sky felt closer to a dream than to reality. So Tessa wondered for a moment whether she was actually dreaming. Excluding all the situations, just looking at this moment, she and Hert, peacefully walking hand in hand in broad daylight.

‘It’s like one of the days I dreamed of long ago…’

To become an adult and live a peaceful life with Hert like other people. The image she had imagined at the time and the image she has now are slightly different, but the big picture is generally similar.

A fine day, an afternoon with Hert.

It was good because it felt like she had achieved something she had longed for in this way.

That’s why she even thought that it would be nice if time could stop so that this moment could last forever. How nice it would be if they could live only in the happy moments without any thoughts or worries.

Then she wouldn’t have to be bitter at the sense of separation from reality that came belatedly.

“Since we’re like this, it seems like we’ve gone back to the past.”

Hert suddenly said so, and it allowed Tessa to know that she wasn’t the only one who felt it. It seemed that longing permeated his voice.

“Remember the hill behind the orphanage? We used to go out often.”

“…Yes, I remember.”

“You loved it so much that you snuck out of the orphanage once a week.”

“…Right… I did…”

“I liked that time the most.”

Hert’s answer suddenly made her nose tingle. Tessa bit her lip hard. She managed to hold back what she wanted to say to Hert.

Yes, there was a time like that.

She was a poor child, abandoned by her parents and she was unhappy. But she had never been as happy as she was then. She was satisfied with everything and knew how to feel happiness even in the smallest things. Because there was a strong existence next to her who will do everything with her in the future. Because she had no doubt that the present happiness would continue in the future.

“Whenever you went there, you always had to make a flower crown. I still vividly remember how to make a flower crown. I remember everything.”

“…….”

“It was the first thing you taught me. Making a flower crown.”

Tessa gradually felt her throat closing up at Hert’s words. She didn’t know he would even remember that. What about making a flower crown… What’s the big deal about that… Why did he still remember?

As Hert said, the first thing Tessa taught Hert was how to make a flower crown. He couldn’t figure out what to do, so she dragged him around because he couldn’t get along with the other kids and blindly taught him how to make one.

Tessa remembered the day vividly, everything.

‘You can’t twist it like this. The stems will soon be damaged.’

‘Plucked flowers are bound to go bad anyway.’

‘Still, it’s good to be able to see it for a long time. It’s sad if it withers soon. The flower must have taken a long time to bloom…’

‘…I’ll try again. Teach me again.’

At the time, Hert was a boy who often followed what she was doing. A new friend who manages to do it alone even though he hasn’t been taught a few times.

Before long, he got the hang of it and made one that was even nicer than Tessa’s.

Tessa found Hert really admirable. Because he quickly applied the skills he learned in only several days.

‘You do really well. You’re really dexterous?’

‘…Am I.’

‘Yes. It would take at least half a day for the other kids to make it like yours? It took me a few days to learn this too.’

As Tessa poured out words of admiration, Hert suddenly thrusted the flower crown to her.

‘…You can have it.’

‘What?’

Tessa was puzzled when she saw the crown held out by Hert. He was giving her something he made so prettily?

‘‘You’re giving it to me…? You made it very nicely.’

‘I made it… like that. I’ll give it to you.’

‘Why, Her, I think it’d suit you well!’

‘it’s okay… Just take it if you want it.’

Tessa then saw Hert with red ears and took the crown. It was the first time she had ever received such a pretty crown.

‘’Thank you! But I also want to give you something… Well…’

Tessa, wondering if there was anything good, hastily made a ring out of the remaining flowers and held it out to him. The boy wiggled his eyebrows as if asking what this was.

‘’What’s this?’

‘A thank you gift! I want to give you something too. Come on, put it on. You have nice hands, so it will look good no matter what you wear.’

Tessa grabbed the hesitant Hert’s hand. Hey, if you grabbed me so suddenly… Hert grumbled, but obediently offered his hand to Tessa.

He immediately looked down at the ring perched on his index finger, now adorned with a small white flower.

‘‘The ring I made is good too, right? I want to try on the crown you made!’

Tessa said as she placed the crown on her head. How is it? Tessa raised her head in front of Hert, wearing the crown. At that moment, the wind blew. Tessa tucked her hair behind her ears to hold it in place.

‘’Pretty…’

‘Yes, your crown is pretty!’

‘That’s not it… No, never mind.’

Tessa shook her head as the boy suddenly jerked his head away. What’s the matter?

Nothing. Suddenly, the boy ran away somewhere. Tessa reached out to grab Hert and fell to the ground. Hert looked back in surprise.

‘’Hey!’

‘Ouch…….’

‘Look at this, are you seriously hurt?’

‘I’m, I’m okay! Just this much… Ow!’

Blood flowed from Tessa’s knee. She must have scratched on a stone as she fell. Hert sighed and leaned back. Come on up. He waved his hand.

‘’I’m heavy!’

‘How are you going to walk with that leg? I’m strong.’

So, with the boy’s stubborn persuasion, Tessa was forced onto his back. His back, wider than hers, supported her body.

The feeling was so amazing, Tessa giggled, saying it was the first time she had ever been carried by anyone other than the instructors. Hearing that, Hert also smiled lightly. He said it was the first time he had ever carried someone on his back.

Yes, there was a time like that. Tessa must have had those happy days that she remembered vividly, even the conversations they had, that she now thought were fleeting dreams.

She smiled unknowingly at the memory of the past, then suddenly raised her head at the sound of a voice.

“You talked a lot when we first met.”

“…I’m, I’m sorry…”

“Tessa, I didn’t mean for you to apologize. I… liked it. That you talk to me.”

Tessa hesitated at Hert’s candid answer.

“Before I ended up in the orphanage, I had to move around a lot. Everyone didn’t even greet me or talk to me. You… were unique. The one who smiled and talked to me without hesitation.”

“…….”

“So I was able to hold on. It was because of you that I was able to come this far.”

At the end, she could feel Hert smiling slightly. Tessa felt choked up again. She had nothing to say to him even with ten mouths. Because she was the one who ruined those days for him.

Tessa had the idea that she just wanted to disappear like she was. Her heart ached at the embarrassment. She was frantically regretting her past choices over and over again.

‘In fact… Me too, Her. Every day when I was abused, I thought of the days I had with you. Then I was able to hold on a little bit. In the morning, the vacant spot was so big that I felt so sad… But I was able to come this far because I had the memory of that day.’

A bunch of words were lost as they were lodged in her throat. Tessa swallowed the words she couldn’t utter in the end.

In the first place, she couldn’t possibly speak her mind. How could that be? How can she say that she also missed those days when she had ruined someone’s life terribly? This was not a problem that can be solved by being honest.

“Tessa.”

At that time, Hert strengthened the hand that was holding her. Tessa said nothing, and she just stared at the ground. The two of them stood still.

“Don’t you want to go back to that time?”

“…….”

“I can do that right now. It’s possible now. Raise your head and look at me.”

With Hert’s insistence, Tessa lifted her head with difficulty.

Under the blue sky and warm sunlight, she saw Hert, who had become a man.

Like the boy of the day, opening his heart to Tessa.

It was a really hot and intense feeling. It was as if he was constantly whispering to her to look at him, to come to him, to choose him.

“I, I…”

Tessa mumbled. At the same time, her stomach churned. What was she supposed to say here? She was not sure.

Yes, to be very honest, Tessa wanted to go back too. More than anyone else, she wanted to go back to that time. But just because she wants to go back, can she really go back? Can she go back simply because she wanted it?

Tessa was well aware that she had already made a stupid choice. Because of that choice, someone’s life was thrown into hell. It was obvious that anyone could see that she was wrong.

Then, can that person who made that choice stand proudly next to him, who has just had a bright future?

She knows, she does. That she kept repeating the same words over and over again.

Even though everything told her that there was only one option given to her, the reason she hesitated so much was because of fear.

This time, she was afraid of losing Hert forever.