Chapter 5-7: It is Truly Truly True

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing. I am only thinking about something.”

As I said so, I gave her a smile to reassure her. That smile could only be made because I noticed how beautiful I was as a boy.

Well, I had been practicing with a mirror over and over after all.

I had been doing it that I now understood Narcissus’s feelings for falling in love with himself.

“I-I see. If it’s the case, then I am glad.”

And Risha, who received my smile directly, reddened her face and looked down when she replied as she didn’t want her face to be seen.

For this girl who was still not used to people, moreover a male, the smile that I made with all of my efforts might be too powerful.

“Rather than that, do you have something you want to do? Even if we cannot do it now, I can prepare for it in the next meeting.”

“Ah…. N-no! You don’t need to go that far! Be-besides, I will do anything Your Highness wants to do.”

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Hmm, what a well-mannered child.

Without intruding too much and not exposing herself too much, she tried to suit my taste as I was her fiance.

Yes, she was raised well, but that was it.

If she stayed like this, she might become a good maid, she could not be a good wife.

Moreover, for a moment, Risha wanted to say something.

That means she actually had something she wanted to try to do.

Something that Risha wanted to try to do, huh… Was it strange that I wanted to let her do it?

“I understand. If that is the case, then I want Risha to think what you want to do until the next meeting. This is homework from me.”

“Th-th-th-th-that is disrespectful for me! I could not do that!”

“Of course you can.  Even if the others try to deny it, I myself will definitely forgive you.”

“……….D-do you… mean it?”

Risha looked like she was trying to cling on to something as she asked so, and when I saw it, as I desperately held back the urge to hug her, I put power in words to reply Rishe’s anxiety as it was not important.

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“Yes, I mean it.”

“You truly truly… mean it?”

“I truly truly meant it.”

“You truly truly mean it? You are not going to be angry when I tell you what I want to do? You are not going to hit me?”

“I truly truly truly mean it. A man will never go back on what he said. Now, this conversation ends here. A lot of colorful flowers are blooming over there. Let’s look at it together. That’s what I want to do right now. I wanted to look at the flowers together with Risha. Will you follow me, my princess?”

“…Yes.”

I heard some strange words like being hit and my instinct told me that this conversation would not end for a while, so I forcibly changed the topic. When I offered my hand towards Risha and said the lines that would make me in the past life vomited, Risha blushed and gently took the hand while looking down.

◆ Ch6 – Blinded by The Benefit and Mistaking the Original Value

“Now, let’s get prepared for an outing. Nina.”

“Yes, Your Highness Calude.”

Risha was picked up by a gorgeous carriage and I sent her off as she was ready to return back to her house. I once returned back to my room and asked Nina to prepare to go out.

When Nina heard my words, she kneeled down and bowed at me.

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As I remembered the last decade where Nina had always been my personal attendant ever since I was a baby, I really thought that she was a very obedient personal attendant.

If this attitude of hers was supposed to be named, I would call it “betrayal”.

The method was simple.

I just need to slam more favorable conditions compared to the other party to Nina and then ask her to be a double spy.

She already did the dirty work since the beginning, there was no problem.

If the work was as dirty but she was given more favorable terms, she would turn over to the one who gave more benefits to her and that was just what I aimed for. Now, she was a really capable subordinate who was extremely thorough with her work.

However, there was a disadvantage. Would the other party notice that Nina betrayed them and took my side, they would once again retrieve Nina and make their move. But since the probability Nina would betray me had been crushed by my social status, I did not need to worry about it.

About what Nina gave me as a condition, she wanted me to pick her daughter, Misha, who was two years younger than me to be my concubine or another equal position in the future.

Since Misha’s will had not been confirmed, she originally did not want to do so. However, the influence would be tremendous and Nina agreed without thinking twice.

It is natural for her to do so.

If her daughter was the concubine of the future king, besides her family’s peace would be assured, there would be a chance for her to bear the child of the king.

For Nina, who was a baroness, and her daughter, it would be an exceptional treatment.

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However, I never told her whether I would take a concubine and I said that I would take her as a concubine ambiguously.

It was painful to deceive her, however, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and betrayal should be replied with appropriate measure. That’s why, please forgive me.

Maybe I would really make her my concubine but if she wanted a child, then she could make some lovers outside and I did not mind it at all.

The life of an aristocrat, especially royalty, was just like that. They would be blinded by the gain and forgot that they would mistake the original value of it.

Nina, who didn’t know that I was thinking like that, took the things that I ordered her and then followed me from the back.

◆

The time with His Highness Claude was just like a dream.

To the extreme that I still wondered if that time was really not a dream.

Now, I feel like I could understand why my parents raised me very strictly.

As I thought so, I wondered. Maybe I was actually loved by my parents? I felt that my heart was filled that I thought about something impossible.

I had never had this feeling before. If I didn’t endure it, I felt that the feeling would jumble my emotions uncontrollably.

◆ Ch7 – Tearing Apart

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Ladies must not reveal their feelings.

It was what I had been taught until now as I always kept my feelings throughout my life.

If I could not quit on something that was already embedded inside my body, there would be no way I had the courage to do it.

Would I show my emotion anyway, I could imagine that I would be hit and then lectured that such behavior should not be shown by a lady.

No, now, I would be lectured that I should not show such behavior as the fiance of His Highness.

I forcefully pushed out my desire to break out my feelings from the shackles although it was only once, and the time when I did that, I could hear the cracking sound inside my heart. 

I am free, I am free, I am free.

Yes, the words did not want to go out of my head.

His Highness’ the glittering and dazzling smile.

His Highness’ the gentle voice that somehow made me safe and relieved.

His Highness’s warm and big hand.

His Highness Claude did not deny the thing that I wanted to do.

All of it filled my head as they made my chest hurt.

I wondered if I caught a cold.

It was painful.

As I wished to not meet His Highness Claude if I knew that it would be this painful, on the other hand, I was also looking forward to the next meeting.

“Risha-san? Is there something wrong?”

“…No, there is nothing wrong, Okaa-sama.”

“Then, that’s good. Your face looked a little bit pale. Once we get home, let’s have the doctor take a look at you just in case.”

“…Yes, Okaa-sama.”

From a bystander, she would look like a mother who cares for her daughter.

But I knew that she was not worried about me, who was the fiance of His Highness Claude. It was not because I was her daughter, but it was because of my status.

I did not know if it was fortunate or unfortunate, but after my mother called me out, my thoughts about His Highness Claude had disappeared.

“You are late!! How long are you going to make me wait?! I don’t care about Onee-sama’s engagement!! You should have come back quickly!!”

“Ah, I am very sorry, my lovely Liliana. Your angry expression is cute, but Otou-sama likes Liliana’s smile more.”

“I am sorry for leaving you alone, Liliana. The next time when we go out, I will buy the thing you want to buy, so please don’t be mad.”

“Really?! Okaa-sama?!”

“Yes, I will buy anything for you.”

When we reached the house, I looked at the familiar situation that was spreading in front of my eyes.

I always envied my sister.

I too wanted Father and Mother to love me even if it was only a tenth of the love they had for Liliana.

“Then, I want to be His Highness Claude’s fiance!!”

However, when I heard the words coming from my sister’s mouth, my heart jumped.

Please stop.

I wanted to shout, but it was like my body did not want to listen to me as I stood like a stone.

“Even if you say so, I am troubled… Is it not okay to be the bride of a high-ranking aristocrat?”

“No way! I want His Highness Claude!!”

“Stop it, Liliana. It was not something a lady could be.”

Instead, the words coming from my mouth were those which deny my sister.

The one who knew how much it hurt to be denied all the time was me, however, I only knew this.

“Okaa-sama, I will be resting in my room. If the doctor has come, please call for me.”

I ignored my sister, who glared at me as she let out some verbal abuse, and then headed to my room.

I knew that it was no use to talk to my sister if she was in such a state, and the right move when dealing with her when she was irritated, which could make any harm, was to be gone from her sight 

And, on my bed, the teddy bear which was the only thing presented by Father had been torn apart, and from the torn part, the cotton was coming out.

T/N: Hiiii!! I actually want to post a new translation besides this one. The other title will give more words in the later chapter, but it will be only 500 or 300 in the first chapter… I am thinking of how to post it next week. I hope you guys will like it as well. I will still update this one so don’t worry xD