Only Mine

I froze, instantly far away from sleep and even my headache couldn't compare to the sudden pressure in my chest. Good pressure, or bad? I have no idea. I mean, I wanted him to care about me, God yes, to feel at least something, but this just blindsided me, coming out of nowhere.

He couldn't, could he? Did something happen yesterday? Shit, why did I have so much to drink? I should remember. I don't even know how he managed to be in the same place as we were.

Oh wait, did we go to his club? The image of the club's bouncer opening the VIP entrance flashes through my mind. Yep, he didn't come looking for me, I went to him.

Probably he is saying this because I wanted to break things off. Maybe he just panicked. He is Jake goddamn Adams; he doesn't fall in love. He fucks, hard, and then moves on.

The hand that was caressing my messy locks starts slowly moving to my face, brushing my cheek, before his thumb and forefinger enclose my chin and gently pull my face up to look at him.

His eyes are serious, but suave, looking at me curiously.

"Baby, are you...?"

Before he could finish the sentence I reach up and close my mouth over his. I can't deal with this right now, and not with the lack of memories from yesterday night. I will analyze everything later when I'm not with him and I'll be able to think straight.

For now, I'll pretend I don't feel small butterflies in my belly and a spark of hope in my chest and I'll just kiss him senseless, making us both forget our life outside this bed.

He let me get away with it. His lips connected with the sensitive spot behind my ear and I slowly climb on top and start rubbing over his semi-hard on. His groan reverberates on my skin at my initiative and sends shivers down the whole surface of my body, which makes me pick up my pace, making him fully ready to enter me.

He makes me scream for the second time this morning when we both come as hard as always and then we fall asleep in each other arms without uttering a single word.

I came home later that day, still hungover as hell, but Jake's home-made juice with a painkiller saved me for the most part.

After we ate breakfast and sat on the couch, drinking our coffee and juice, talking about seemingly unimportant things, I decided to get up and leave. The air wasn't exactly awkward, but it wasn't as relaxed as it always has been between us.

I avoided the topic of what he said, later on thinking if I imagined everything. He, on the other hand, was probably giving me a chance to process. Even though, knowing him, the processing time will be very short.

Jake Adams does not wait for things to happen in his life. He makes them happen.

The next day was still a holiday, so I didn't have to report for work or at the university and I managed to recover completely and get some sleep.

The rest of the time I spent cleaning my apartment and talking with Hannah on the phone about the 'crazy New Year's' we had.

She finally filled in some blanks about the night. We did end up at his club, The X and when he noticed us waiting to enter, he got us escorted to VIP and give us a table with drinks on him. He didn't show up at our table and we haven't seen him the entire night. It wasn't until early hours when the crowd was slowly disappearing that he came to us. Well, not for us. He came to me. In fact, he said to Hannah he had enough of me dancing provocatively and luring all the men in the club, before grabbing my hand and leading me outside and in his car.

Apparently, I didn't complain much if I can judge by where I woke up the next morning.

The next day I was invited to my sister's place for dinner and by the time the clock rolled around to six p.m., I was on my way to their place. They were cooking Brian's famous Pasta Bolognese. Yummy.

I bump into Jake in front of the building just when I'm about to take the shiny new stairs to the entrance. I had no idea he was coming. I thought it's going to be just the three of us.

When he sees me his mouth spreads in a big grin and when I get close enough he cradles my face in his hands and kisses me senseless.

"What are you doing, Jake?! What if anyone sees us?" I almost yell when he finally stops kissing me.

"It's none of their business and I don't care if anyone sees me with you."

Oh, boy. He is serious this time. I'm not ready to tell about 'friends with benefits' thing to anyone yet. If ever.

"Well, I don't want my sister and Brian to know, so behave today."

He replies with a mischievous grin. "Of course, ma'am." Oh god.

Once in the elevator he is standing behind me, very close behind me and lightly kissing the exposed skin on my neck.

"Jake, mmm, you really need to stop now. They will see right through us if you keep turning me on."

My voice wasn't as strong as I would prefer. My brain just goes to mush when he is next to me.

I felt his lips on the shell of my ear before he whispered in it.

"Jess, I don't care. I know you don't want to talk about what happened yesterday morning, but I know you heard me say it. And soon we'll be talking about why you are running away from it, from us."

He shocked me for bringing this up, especially now, and I started trembling. Before I was capable to reply, the elevator stopped and he gently pressed on my back to push me out of the small space.

I stepped a few inches away from him when waiting for them to open the door and just when the keys jingled on the inside, he swiftly grabbed my hand and interlock our fingers together.

I was so completely and utterly shocked that my mouth hung open when Becca opened the door.

Holy shit, what is he doing? Is he crazy?

Becca had a huge smile on her face when she spotted us and then her eyes fell on our interlocked hands. Her eyebrows lifted almost to her hairline and if I wasn't so furious and amazed at the same time, I would find it hilarious.

Jake just carried a smug expression, clearly enjoying exposing us.

But seriously, does he know what he's doing?

To my utter surprise and relief, my sister smiled happily while greeting us and hugged us together, making us stand in a weird three-people hug, squeezing all the air out of our lungs.

When she finally let go and invited us to come in, she stepped closer and whispered in my ear so only I could hear it.

"You are so dead for not keeping me updated."

Goddamn you, Jake. This will be a nightmare.

To my relief, he let go of my hand when we entered the dining room, where Brian was already bringing food on the table. He kissed my cheeks and gave a man-hug to Jake, leading us to sit down at the table.

Becca kept on sending me glances throughout dinner, switching between accusative and giddy. She is so enjoying my uncomfortableness.

Jake's hand suddenly landed on my thigh under the table and I froze at the contact. It was the exact same time when Brian curiously looked at us.

"So what were you guys up to on New Year's?"

"Uhm, I was with the girls ..."

"Jess and I spent it together."

Our words collided at the same time and for the second time that evening my mouth hung open and my head twists to him, confusion and anger seeping out of my every pore.

What in the actual hell? Which part of 'I don't want Becca and Brian to know' did he not understand?

Becca starts coughing and laughing at the same time and I can feel the blood rushing to my face.

Brian just looks at all three of us at a loss.

"You spent it together?? How come?" he asks carefully.

This is not going to go well. Brian is seriously protective of me (I think he feels the need to fill the shoes of my father that was never present in our life) and as far as I know he doesn't approve the way Jake treats women in his life.

Since it becomes obvious I'm not replying, Jake clears his throat, now looking seriously at Brian. I guess he does realize how unhumorous the situation really is.

"Brian, Jess and I are seeing each other."

Becca's eyes widened, my mouth opens even more and Brian's features just hardened visibly.

"You WHAT, Jake?!"

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner, but we didn't know where this is going between us. But right now, I want to take things further and I don't want to hide it from you anymore."

My sister put her hand on Brian's forearm, trying to calm him down.

"Brian, they are adults. Calm down."

"Like hell. Why the hell do you think you can mess with Jess? What are you thinking?"

He was about to reply when Brian silenced him.

"Get up and meet me in the kitchen."

He removed his hand from my thigh and slowly got up from his chair, squeezing my shoulder gently before leaving. The doors of the kitchen closed after them.

Becca was next to me in a second, turning me towards her.

"Ok, quickly. Give me the speed up version."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself enough before start talking.

"We were seeing each other for a few weeks, nothing serious, supposedly just having fun. But before Christmas I pushed slightly, giving an indication I don't want to be just casual and he flipped, went to see his parents in England for the holidays and I haven't heard a word from him."

"Oh, now it explains why he decided the last minute to go to London. Brian and I were thinking it was weird."

So he did change plans because of me. I really didn't know how to feel about this information.

"Anyhow, he showed up at my door on Christmas Day, trying to apologize, but I wasn't having it. I told him that I want more and that we need to finish things since this is not what he wants."

Becca smiled appreciatively at this and I was proud of myself for that day not giving in.

Loud voices came out of the kitchen and we simultaneously turned in the direction of the door.

"They'll be fine, right?"

"It depends on what Jake's plans with you are. But I think they will be. Come on, continue."

"Ok, so apparently I went to his club on New Year's, but I was completely wasted and don't remember everything from that night. The only thing I do remember is waking up next to him the next day and that morning he, uhm ..."

"He what? Stop making me nervous."

I chuckled. Always so impatient.

"Well, he said he loves me."

"He WHAT?" It was her turn to yell.

"Don't be so loud, Jesus, Becca."

"So what did you do? Did you say it back? Do you feel the same?"

"Well, he shocked me big time. So I kind of kissed him and distracted him otherwise."

"Ok, skip the details. Don't want to have this picture in my head of my baby sister."

Trust me, me neither.

"So, do you feel the same? Do you want to be with him?"

"I think I do. And I want to be with him. But I'm not sure he is really serious about it. I feel he will just change his mind tomorrow and break my heart big time."

I looked down in my lap, sadness washing over me.

She was silent for a few beats and then took my hands in hers, making me look up.

"Honestly, I don't know what to think about him since he was never serious about his relationships, but this is Jake. Saying 'I love you' is a huge deal for him. He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it."

I guess she was right and I felt like some of the weight fell off my chest. She hugged me tightly and it was then that the men entered the room again.

Jake had a serious expression on his face, but his eyes were gentle when he looked at me. Brian left his face expressionless when he took the beeline to my seat.

He pulled me up so I was standing in front of him and his eyes became warmer when he looked at me. He grasped my shoulders and give them a small squeeze.

"Sweety, are you sure about this?"

I glanced at Jake and he was looking at us intently, some powerful emotion making his eyes deeper while waiting for my answer.

It was that moment that I decided to jump. To hell with my self-preservation. I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't at least give it a try.

"Yes." My eyes glanced back to Brian's before they reconnected with Jake's again.

"I'm in love with him."

There are no words to describe the pure joy and warmth shown on Jake's face when he heard those words.

He rounded the table and I could just make out Brian's defeated agreement before I was hauled in Jake's arms and he started kissing me like crazy.

"Ok, ok. I agreed to you seeing each other, not to make out in our dining room."

I started laughing and Jake's lips spread in a huge smile at Brian's words, but he kept his forehead on mine not letting me go.

"I'm really sorry Brian, Becca, but Jessica and I need to leave. There is some urgent matter we need to discuss."

Brian grumbled something under his breath and Becca winked at us after assuring us it's fine if we leave.

I had barely time to say goodbye to them both before I was literally dragged out of the apartment and pushed in the elevator, his body pinning me to the wall and his mouth and hands all over my body.

"I want to fuck you in my bed with you screaming those words when you come. Do you have any problem with that?"

I chuckled and kissed him even fiercer.

How did I ever think I could say 'no' to him?