Only Mine

It was me who woke up first this time and I took a few minutes looking at his beautiful face lying next to me, his features relaxed, looking peaceful, and content.

God, did yesterday really happened, or did I just imagine it?

Slightly because I was a coward and mainly because I wanted to make a special morning, I quietly got up from the bed, put on his T-shirt that was discarded on the floor, and tiptoed out of the room. I used the guest bathroom, hoping it won't wake him, and then continue my way to the kitchen where I decided to prepare breakfast and coffee before he wakes up.

I was almost done when I heard the bedroom doors opening and Jake's voice carrying through the hallway to the kitchen. It sounded still gruff from sleeping.

"Jess? Jessica?"

Damn, I really wanted to surprise him. I contemplated just going to him and make him go back to bed or finish the breakfast and serve him in the kitchen.

It was decided for me when I heard hurried steps around the apartment.

He sure is jumpy this early in the morning.

He enters the kitchen spotting me behind the counter and lets out a deep exhale.

"Thank fuck."

What?

Before I manage to say anything, he is standing in front of me, his hands cupping my cheeks and his mouth pressed firmly on mine, kissing me like there is no tomorrow.

Okay... I guess he is happy to see me?

Not that I was complaining. I kissed him back with the same ferocity.

When we finally broke apart, his forehead pressed to mine, breathing heavily.

"Not that I'm complaining, Jake, but is everything ok?"

His head lifted slightly, allowing him to look me in the eyes and I didn't expect the torment I saw in them.

"I thought you left. I thought you didn't stay the night and you snuck out. Like ..."

He paused momentarily, struggling with words.

"Like... I used to do it to you."

Oh God, that is why he was so panicked. Even though he was looking at me with a pained expression, the corners of my mouth lifted slightly. I love this man so much.

And I told him exactly that, hugging him tightly, my cheek pressing to his chest where I could hear the thumping of his heart.

"I'm not going anywhere. As long as you want me here."

"I sure as hell want you here. All the time. Move in with me."

Wh-a-aat? He is joking, right? He must be joking, we just decided to try this relationship thing.

However, I would be a liar if I said I didn't feel the butterflies in my tummy, hope spreading in my chest.

"Ok, ok relax. Let's not make any rushed decisions. You don't have to say this just because you thought I wasn't here when you woke up."

"It's not rushed. When I realized I love you, I decided I'm all in. And sooner or later you are going to live with me. Sooner preferable, of course." His dimple grin accompanied the last part.

"So, I don't have a say in it?" I reply playfully. Even though it seemed fast, it just felt so ... right, I guess.

"Nope, not at all. You are mine now. And I can do with you whatever it pleases me."

"Excuse me? You can't boss me around all the time."

Even though I knew he would never do anything I didn't want, it was fun bickering with him.

"Meaning I can boss you around occasionally? Like when?"

His head descended, landing soft teasing kisses down my neck.

"Can I boss you around when I please you?" Small bite close to my collarbone.

"Or when I make you come with my tongue?" Another bite lower down, sucking on the swell of my breasts through his shirt.

"Or when I fuck you hard, so you remember every time you move the next day who was inside you?"

This time he sucked in my nipple, tugging on it over the soft material.

I was panting already, only small moans and pleas escaping my mouth, feeling the need for him all over my body, craving him like I didn't have him for years. Is it always going to be like this between us? I sure hope so.

The breakfast was momentarily forgotten and we made love two more times before we finally got ourselves out of bed that day. And I made sure that each time, he felt exactly how much he means to me and that I'm all in as well, without actually giving him an answer to his 'move in' request. For now, he let me distract him.

----

The next few weeks were pure bliss. There was no hiding anymore, we spent lots of time outside, taking walks, jogging, having dinners, even went to the cinema once, despite his complaints of how teenager-ish it is. I know he secretly enjoyed cuddling with me in the backseats.

People were at shock initially at seeing us together or rather seeing Jake in a relationship, but finally started to get over it and even I started to relax and feel comfortable in where things were going.

I started to seriously consider to go and move in with him. It still felt early, but I spent most of the nights at his place anyway and the nights we weren't together, I wished we were. It happened mostly on the days that he stayed at the club till early hours and didn't want to wake me up in the middle of the night, knowing I have to get up early for school or work.

The only thing we didn't do since we were officially together, was spending time at his club, The X. I know he liked to keep his personal things separated from work, even though he never specifically said he doesn't want me there.

I guess I felt a bit uneasy of how he'll behave since the last memories I have of him there is tinted with lots of horny girls throwing themselves at his feet.

Ah, I guess I'm still not fully confident and trusting. No, that's not true. I trust him, I know he wouldn't mess up what we had. I believe he loves me. He showed me all the time.

Becca's wedding is in exactly three weeks and we are all really busy with the preparations. My dress still needs to be tailored and Mike didn't buy his suit, so I know I'll have to drag him and be with him until he actually purchases it. Men.

It's Saturday night and I'm hanging out with Hanna, with Mike joining us shortly after his basketball practice. And Hanna is in a drinking mood, which is mostly not a good idea because she will make sure I and my barely-not-underage nephew will be drunk with her.

I know I've neglected her somewhat since I spent a lot of time with Jake and I want to make up to her. So if she wants to have a fun night drinking, then that is what we will do. Mike, of course, has no problem with it and soon enough we are toasting to all the stupid things we can think of, laughing like lunatics and probably waking up all my neighbours.

It's almost midnight when Hanna exclaims loudly, "That's it, we are going out. No point in wasting all this alcohol to just sit at home."

Both me and Mike protest, not really prepared to go out, but she's not having it. So we cave at the end, and I and Hanna slip into my bedroom to quickly change into a dress before heading out. Thankfully we are almost the same size. Her bust is bigger though and she fills out my dresses quite well.

Mike groans when we finally reappear, and we decide his jeans and a plain T-shirt will have to do. By now it's clear Hanna wants to go The X and I start to feel uneasy about going there. I tried calling Jake and letting him know, but he doesn't pick up.

I don't really know why I'm so afraid of going, after all, I am his girlfriend, he should be happy to see me. Especially after the great attention I gave to his erection this morning. I blush slightly at the memory, already wanting him with me again. Since when did I become so possessive?

I relaxed slightly by the time we get there, telling myself it's no big deal and that I won't interrupt his work anyway. Hanna and Mike notice I'm tense, but I try to dismiss their concern, blaming it on the alcohol and adrenaline. Real good excuse.

We have to wait in line to get in and when we finally enter is packed as always.

"Let's hit the bar," Hanna yells over to us and both of us nod approvingly.

Good, let's get this show on the road then.

"What are you having, doll?" Mike looks at me questioningly and I'm about to reply when my eyes zero in on the other side of the bar. I couldn't miss the broad shoulders and messy dark hair facing away from me that I know so intimately now, but something is wrong with the picture. Since MY broad shoulders and messy hair is currently surrounded by three women and the one closest to him just started jumping excitedly and throwing herself around his neck. And what's more, he doesn't mind hugging her back, putting their bodies too close to each other for my liking.

"Earth to Jessica. Are you with us?"

Mike is trying to get my attention, but once he sees my darkening expression and fury in my eyes he follows my line of vision. His face is stone-cold when he turns back to me.

"Aren't you guys together?"

I'm fuming at that point since the girl is now hugging his waist, snuggling close to his side and he still doesn't mind having her there.

What in the actual fuck?

"My question exactly. I'll be right back."

"Hey, do you need me to come with you?"

"Thanks, Mike, but I've got this one."

I hear Hanna's confused questions when I turn to leave, but I'm sure Mike will explain everything. I head straight to the little group, each step making me more determined to trample all the bimbos surrounding him and possibly him included.

I'm two steps away, but since Jake's back is to me, he still doesn't see me. I'm about to push through the circle when one of the sluts (damn, we are back to calling random girls 'sluts') turns towards me and tells me off with an impossibly annoying voice that can be heard even over the music.

"Hello-o. This is a private conversation here. You can remove yourself."

Oh, she did not just say that! I think I just might slap the hell out of her fake face. This is the same time Jake turns towards me and his eyes go wide with realization.

"Get the hell out of my face, bitch."

"Who do you ..."

But I don't let her finish when I turn towards shocked Jake and the sluttiest slut attached to his side. And when I see his arm around her shoulders, I think I just might growl. Like out loud. Damn stupid men and me for falling for it.

"And you! Detach your slutty arms away from my man." I am furious and clearly, everyone can notice, especially Jake when I hear him suck in his breath.

He tries to push the girl away gently, but she is determined to not let go. Oh no, you don't.

"I said," grabbing her arm and forcefully pulling her away from him, "get away from him."

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, but I can touch him all I want. Not like he's complaining."

Her smug smile just about pushes the last of my buttons, fueling the insecurities about our relationship I still had. And Jake still didn't utter a single word, so clearly he's not on the same page as I am.

Apparently, he realizes this was just about the last straw for me and I am literally going to snap, so he hauls me towards him and wraps his arms around me.

"Jess, what are you doing? Calm down."

"What am I doing?" Is he for real?

"Yes, Jess," the stupid girl whines, "what are you doing?"

Oh, she's begging for it. I'm already turning around in his arms, fully prepared to yank her fake blond hair out of her scalp when Jake's strong arms wrap around my belly and start pulling me away from them.

"Ok, that's enough. We are leaving."

I curse at him and the girls while being dragged away and I'm basically carried over half of the place and then hauled inside his office.

"What the hell was this, Jessica?"

"Excuse me?" He's not doing a good job at calming me down. "You were just hugging some slutty bitch throwing herself at you, and you are asking me 'what was that'?! I didn't know we were in a relationship and exclusive only outside of your club."

"Hey, hey, what are you saying? Nothing happened. These are just some regular customers and you know I always mingle with the people who come in here. It was innocent."

"Oh, really? Innocent? And it's absolutely necessary to hug them and let them be attached to your body the entire time?!"

I can see he is getting worked up, anger showing on his features. What the hell does he have to be angry about?

"Fuck, you are over-reacting!" His voice raised now as well. "And you know I didn't do the whole 'relationship' thing before, I don't think about anyone being bothered by what I'm doing."

This would make me pause on a normal day, but with my alcohol-infused brain and anger coursing through my veins I couldn't be bothered.

"Well, I'm sorry for not letting you know I'm coming, so you could tell your hook-ups not to be all over you!"

"Damn, Jessica, you know very well they are not my hook-ups. It wasn't a big deal."

I was pacing the room, frustrated and so angry that he didn't even acknowledge it was wrong. He can't be that clueless. Or? Maybe I just need to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It wasn't a big deal?" I got in his face, my eyes shooting daggers at him. "It wasn't? So you wouldn't mind if I go back to the bar and you find me all over some random guy? Pressed to his chest? His arm around my shoulders, or better grabbing my butt?"

His features became thunderous and he backs me into the corner, my back hitting the cold wall of his office.

His next words were gritted through his teeth.

"Don't you," he pinned me between his arms, towering over me, his face dangerously close to mine, "fucking dare, get close to another guy! Am I being clear enough?"

"Well, let me see, was I clear enough about you not letting some random girls salivating all over you?!"

We were both breathing heavily, something electric charging between us. Anger? Frustration? Lust?

"You damn infuriating woman!"

And his mouth crashes on mine, bruising my lips in a forceful kiss that was filled with all the anger and need of not feeling him inside me since this morning.

He started tearing at my clothes and even though I was dizzy from his drugging kisses and the never-ending need, I wasn't doing this with him here again. He screwed up and he needed to realize that if we want to avoid it next time. Plus, I am here with Hanna and Mike. I am not leaving them tonight.

I pushed him away, even though feeling his erratic heartbeat beneath my fingertips almost made me pull him right back. But I had to stand my ground.

"I am not doing this with you now. I am so mad at you for being with other women and not caring how this would make me feel. So no, you do not get to fuck-me out of this. I'm going back out to spend the night with Hanna and Mike and you can do what-the-hell-ever you want."

"I wasn't with other women, stop saying that. You know I wouldn't cheat on you."

"Oh, you wouldn't? I thought this is what you are good that. After all, committed relationships are not really your thing, are they?"

It was a low blow and I knew it, but it was out of my mouth before I could control it. His eyes became stone cold and I felt him detaching from me, his walls falling back in place. I froze momentarily, his facade something I haven't seen since that dinner at Becca and Brian's.

"I didn't – ". He stopped me before I could finish.

"You know me best then. I'm sure you can find your way out."

Did he just throw me out? I didn't mean to go that far. Shit, I was just angry at seeing him with someone else. I wanted to be the one who he would invite to his club and hug to his side.

I guess now wasn't a good time to say this.

I turned around and slowly went to the doors, opening them quietly and murmuring "I'm sorry" before closing them behind me.

I wasn't sure he heard me, but when I heard something crash from his office, followed by a loud curse, I was pretty sure that it wouldn't make a difference either way.