Only Mine

To say everyone was a bit skeptical about my sudden move-in with Jake would probably be an understatement. The only two people who still had my back were Becca and Mike, but even they weren't thrilled with me giving up the apartment I loved so much.

This was the one part I really was sad about, I loved that place. It was entirely mine and for me, it represented having the freedom and being a responsible adult for the first time in my life. But I know it would be pointless paying the rent for it when I wouldn't be spending much time in it anymore.

And deep down I felt if I keep the apartment, it would show I don't have 100% faith in our relationship and what we are doing. I realize it was sudden, hell both of us knew it was, but we felt strongly about each other and we want to make this work, so why not try it?

Everyone always said that to really get to know the person and know if it's someone you can stay for the rest of your lives with, you should try and live with them. If you are able to handle each other's routines and willing to compromise when necessary, then there is no better proof.

It's been two weeks since I moved in with him and so far is the best I could have imagined. There is no better feeling than waking up to his warmth heating me from behind, his arm heavily draped around my waist and the smell of his body wash on the sheets. We already established a small routine and since our schedules are quite different, we try to meet up for lunch every day after I come back from work and before he leaves for the club. I don't like falling asleep alone on the weekends when he is not at home, but I love it when he snuggles closely when he finally reaches home, sometimes putting my body on fire with drugging kisses and then taking me wildly, and other times just kissing my temple and then falling asleep cuddling me.

It feels like we've been together for much longer than it seems and I'm really happy. So I want my family to be on board with it and see that this is exactly what I want now. What makes me the happiest.

That is why we decided to host a dinner party today, inviting my mum, Becca, Mike, and Brian, of course, who mostly sums up his part of the family. At least the one that is present. I wish I'd be able to meet his parents, but at the same time, I dread meeting people who wouldn't give the time of day for their only son. Well, luckily that's not coming anytime soon, so I don't have to decide about it yet.

As for my family goes, it's not like they are meeting Jake for the first time, but I can't help but feel nervous about it. I want to make everything perfect, making sure they will realize I didn't make a mistake and we are happy together. And I truly believe we are.

I'm just working on preparing the sauce for my famous chicken lasagne when I feel strong arms rounding my waist and pressing me to the front of the most handsome man I have ever seen. A shiver runs down my spine when he pushes my hair to the side and slowly starts kissing my neck. I don't think I'll ever tire of the feeling he evokes in me.

"Mmmm, as much as you are interrupting me, I can't say I don't enjoy it."

"And that's why I love you." His hot breath is now next to my ear and even though I'm crazy nervous about the dinner that's starting in an hour, my body still betrays me in hope of getting more from him.

"You taste delicious, baby." He hums and slowly drags his tongue behind my ear.

"And I'll never get tired of seeing you in our kitchen, preparing a meal for your man."

I start coughing at his comment and he starts chuckling behind me.

"Listen, caveman, if you think I'll be home every day waiting for MY MAN to come home to a warm meal and a foot massage, you picked the wrong woman."

My tone is teasing even though I'm not joking about me being a housewife for him. This is just not me.

He takes the bowl with sauce from my hands and then his hands go back to my hips and he lifts me high in the air making me squeal like a 15-year old and then dragging me to the other room, throwing me on the couch with a loud thud. We are both laughing like crazy and then he falls hard on top of me, squashing me under his weight and I scream out loud between laughs escaping my mouth to get his ass off of me. He props himself to the elbows and kisses me senseless.

By the time he stops kissing me, we are both breathless and somehow my legs were wide open, letting his hips nestle between them. Soon all the trace of humor disappears and we are panting at each other, rubbing our fronts together to get that pleasurable friction.

I feel the hem of my skirt being dragged up my legs and then his fingers hook around my panties and drag them down my legs.

"Mhm, Jake, what are you doing? Guests are coming soon. We don't have time."

"Jess, you are stressed out way too much about it. I'll help you relax now and ..."

"No, no, I'll be late for dinner ..." But my words contradicted my movements when I started dragging his sweats down his legs, loving the fact he is wearing no underwear.

Before I can protest further he nudges my opening with the tip of his cock and my wetness let him slide into me easily. We both gasp at the feeling and I shudder underneath him.

"God, you always feel so amazing. Now stop complaining and let me distress you. And then you can go back to cooking, woman."

His deep chuckle rumbles on my skin where his mouth is pressed against my neck and I slap him lightly on his butt.

"Watch your tongue, Adams."

The rest of the words are lost in the process of deep moans and smacks of skin against the skin.

The dinner is finished with only ten minutes' delay and nobody really cares since they are all chatting animatedly behind the dining table and it helps me relax slightly. I guess his distressing technique helped after all. And it still looks like everything is going well.

They all complimented my lasagne and my mum makes us laugh with the story of me as a child when I hated cooking and I usually "forgot" to cook lunch or I burnt something. Jake kisses me on the cheek at that and laughs along with the rest of them.

"Glad your cooking skills improved, babe."

I blush slightly at his endearment and Mike rolls his eyes at his cheesiness. My mum, however, eyes us suspiciously.

"So, Jake ..."

Oh, here it goes. My mum is usually all sugary, but when it comes to my love life she tends to be a bit suspicious.

He looks at her with a kind expression on his face, which hopefully means he'll handle her interrogation.

"How come you decided to move in together? I know things have changed since my times, but does this mean you are planning to marry my daughter eventually?"

Oh – my – god.

"What the hell, mum?"

"Watch your tongue, Jessica." Even now that I'm a responsible adult, she never lets me swear. It's kind of cute. But just not at the moment.

Becca helps me out when she sees panic on my face and since Jake is momentarily speechless, I'm very grateful for her intrusion. We haven't discussed anything like that before. At least Brian and Mike are having fun.

"Mother, don't be like this to Jess. You know they just started living together. Let them go at their own pace."

"Yes, yes, Becca. I am just curious. I want to know if I can look forward to any more grandchildren."

"Oh my god." Here goes another blow. Jake looks a bit pale and I grab his hand under the table that stays completely still under my grip. Yep, I think I got my answer to what he thinks on the subject. Even though it's something I haven't considered yet myself, it hurts slightly knowing he is obviously appalled by the idea.

"Ehm, Mrs. Cavanaugh, we haven't discussed that with Jessica yet. And I don't think marriage is something we plan on doing anytime soon. But I have good intentions about your daughter, I'll do my best to make her happy while she's with me."

I wish he wouldn't have woken up from his daze. I think it would be better if he just remained silent. His words obviously hurt more than I was expecting.

'Not plan on doing anytime soon', 'while she's with me... Meaning he doesn't plan to stick around for long?

Becca thankfully manages to change the subject before my mum can continue in the same direction and the rest of the dinner goes better if not a bit tense still.

Jake seeks my hand under the table a couple of times, but I manage to pull away and refill a glass or pass around another piece of the lasagne at the same time. He looks at me confused, but I put on a smile and pretend everything is fine.

When the evening is finally over and we are putting the last plates in the dishwasher, Jake leans on the counter and pulls me between his legs.

"Will you tell me now what was bugging you the whole evening?"

"Nothing, Jake, everything is fine." I look away, trying to detangle myself from his grasp, but he grabs my chin and pulls my face back to his searching eyes.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing. You did nothing. But since you don't plan to stick around anyway, 'nothing' is perfectly fine."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I thought we were doing fine?"

"We are doing fine. Just fine. Like you said, as long as this lasts," I motion between our bodies, "we'll be happy."

"Ok, I don't know what you got out of that conversation, but I didn't mean anything bad about it."

"No? Well then enlighten me. Where do you see your life with me going? Is it going anywhere?"

I knew I was asking the big questions and maybe we aren't ready for them yet, but dammit. He asked me to move in with him. I let go of the old apartment that I loved, for us to have a shot. If we break up, I'll be back to my mother's place. I want to know if this is purely temporary for him before I get more involved.

"I don't know what exactly you want from me. I thought we decided we are going at our own pace." His face is tense and there is a hint of annoyance and panic in his eyes.

"We are going at our own pace and I'm fine with it. But you were repulsed by the idea of marriage and let me not even start on the topic of children. I'm not saying it's something I'm considering at the moment, but it was quite obvious you don't see yourself with me in the long run. So, I want to know how do you see yourself? I want to know what to expect, so I don't have my heart shattered later."

When I stop my rant, I take a deep breath and wait for his answer. He is silent at first, contemplating something, a million emotions displaying on his face, but I pray he's going to open up and tell me what he actually feels. No matter how happy I was with him lately, there is still something that feels off. Like we haven't played all of our cards yet. Like he is holding back for some reason. Or it's even me. I don't even know.

The emotion he finally settles on is not the one I was hoping for. It's hard and cold. It's the Jake from the time that we met. The one who doesn't care about the women he sleeps with.

"Obviously you already made an opinion about my feelings and expectations. No sense in explaining anything. If you feel this is temporary, then it probably is. You women have a sixth sense or some bullshit, right? If yours lets you come to the conclusion like that, then there isn't anything more to discuss."

Now he gently pushes me away from him and leaves the kitchen without a backward glance. I'm taken aback at his answer and just stand mute looking after where he disappeared. A few minutes later I hear some clothes rustling, the jingle of the keys, and the front door slamming behind him.

He left. He actually left and practically confirmed he doesn't want anything permanent. It's about that time that I realize the big fat tears sliding down my cheeks and I furiously wipe them away.

This was sooner rather than later.